


Bells and Confidants

by babyblueglasses



Series: Simmer and Boil [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Drama, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sex Toys, Slice of Life, Swearing, Therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-10-08 22:43:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 82,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10397817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyblueglasses/pseuds/babyblueglasses
Summary: A temperamental chef and a risk-seeking engineer decide that they're tying the knot.It's easier said than done.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up right where [Forge and Weld](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6515077/chapters/14907760) left off, and probably isn't half as fun (or coherent!) without reading that first. :)

Loki was three steps ahead of him from the moment they parked the car. Loki started up the front walk to Jane and Thor’s house, his steps swift and purposeful. Tony held his breath to not laugh as he locked the car and slipped the keys into his pocket. He wasn’t nearly as excited as Loki was, but it was amusing to watch his fiancé (holy shit, because that was the word now, wasn’t it?) being so eager to tell his big brother. 

Loki was wearing his favorite leather jacket, and the one pair of jeans that hardly spent a day or two apart from him. He’d straightened his hair and taken longer than usual getting ready. Tony couldn’t tease him for being overdressed, though. He’d slipped a suit jacket on over his own printed t-shirt because it couldn’t hurt to look good. 

Loki stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Come on,” he urged Tony. 

“Hey. I’m not the one that decided to bring all this stuff,” Tony said, trying to balance four boxes of baked goods in his arms. He’d almost dropped the one that he’d set on the car roof while he’d been getting out. Loki waited until Tony was right beside him to start walking again. Tony must’ve not moved fast enough, because then Loki’s arm slipped around his waist. 

And then they were at the front door and Loki was letting go to ring the doorbell. 

Tony was glad that he’d left his tinted sunglasses on. He was nervous, though not because he thought that something would go wrong. He was actually sort of already rolling his eyes at the love fest he knew was about to take place. It was just that this was the first time they’d be telling anyone.

“Hello!” Jane chirped at them, pulling the front door wide open. “Thor’s upstairs changing Azalea—Tony, do you need help with that?” Jane stepped forward, taking two boxes off the top before Tony could answer. For his part, Loki smiled bashfully, only belatedly seeming to realize what he’d tasked Tony with. 

“Thanks,” Tony said. Jane nodded her head towards the hall. 

“Let’s sit outside in the garden. It’s nice out, and I’m sure that Thor wants to show you the playground he’s been building.” Jane smiled in good humor, already starting towards the hall. Loki shut the front door behind them. He grinned when he caught Tony looking back at him. 

The garden was much more elaborate than the last time that Tony had seen it, with dozens of freshly planted flowers and rows of newly sprouted plants. In the corner, a small playground had been built. The dog spotted them and bounded over, yipping excitedly as it rushed up to Loki. Tony set the boxes in his hands down on the table. He heard a gasp. 

Alarmed, Tony glanced up, only to see Jane staring at Loki with wide eyes. He stopped petting the dog and stood up straight. “Oh my god,” Jane whispered. “ _Oh my god_ , is that, are you both—” She looked to Tony for confirmation, even though she already seemed to know. Tony smiled and she immediately turned back to Loki. “I am so happy for you!” She breathed out, grabbing Loki and pulling him into a hug. He swayed with the motion, carefully returning the hug as though she were delicate. Jane beamed at him, squeezing his arms before letting go and turning to Tony. “And you, the kid I used to check his homework for, getting married—” They heard the back door slide open. “Oh,” Jane breathed, quickly straightening up. She gestured for them to take a seat, quickly taking her own and innocently brushing her hair over her shoulder. 

“Potty training is not coming together as quickly as we’d hoped,” Thor said as he approached them. Loki’s hand snuck into Tony’s under the table. Thor took the seat next to Jane, balancing Azalea in his lap. “As soon as she figures out what’s inside these boxes were are going to have a hard time stopping her,” he said lightheartedly. As if to prove his point, Azalea let out a delighted noise. Tony couldn’t really seem to understand the word she said, but everyone else at the table did. 

“Too late,” Jane said. She took Azalea from Thor’s lap, distracting her. Thor laughed, eyes warm and relaxed. His loose, wavy blond hair had been pulled into a half ponytail at the back of his head, and he was wearing a shirt from a local brewery that had a spot of what looked like baby vomit on the shoulder. Tony tried not to think about that. 

“Thor,” Loki said, sitting forward in his seat a bit, hand tightening around Tony’s. “Tony and I have something to share with you.” 

Thor glanced over at him lightheartedly, still wearing the smile from Azalea’s antics. “I doubt Tony had any part in the cupcakes you’re sharing,” he said. Tony’s lips fell open to crack a joke, but his mouth felt dry. 

“Hey,” Tony said. “I can put sprinkles on stuff.” 

Thor laughed, and Tony felt a foot brush against his, then saw Thor straighten up a second later. Jane looked perfectly innocent, but Tony just fucking knew that had been her foot. It seemed to have knocked some sense into Thor. “Did you mean something else?” He asked, a shade more serious, and frankly a little guiltily. 

Loki fidgeted in his seat, sitting up tall and raising his chin. “Thor,” he said. Tony squeezed Loki’s hand, trying not to feel amused at how eager for approval Loki looked because it was sort of cute. “Tony and I are getting married. We’re engaged.” 

Thor’s mouth fell open. Tony had never seen so much surprise on the big guy’s face in his entire life. Loki shifted nervously in the chair, pulling their hands up above the table so that Thor could see the ring on his finger. Tony set his hand on the table too, using his ring hand to fold over where theirs intertwined. 

“Isn’t that great?” Jane asked, excitement pouring out just as eagerly as it had when she’d found out the first time. 

Thor blinked, slowly coming back to life at Jane’s voice. Tony took a side glance at Loki. He was staring at his brother, lips pinched together, waiting. “You’re getting married,” Thor said. Tony couldn’t tell if it was a shocked statement or a question. Loki seemed to decide it was the later. 

“Yes, we—” He glanced at Tony. Tony grinned to the side, slowly and reassuringly for Loki. “Haven’t set a date yet. You’re the first people we wanted to tell.” 

Thor blinked again, slower. Definitely shocked. Tony wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate to laugh. “Yeah,” Tony said, trying to alleviate some of the anxiety he saw sneaking into Loki’s expression. “We’ll have everyone over and tell them at our house, but we’re planning to keep it low key for a while.” He glanced at Loki, already smiling at the obnoxious pun he’d used, but Loki only looked to him with stiff, coiled features and swallowed. It was then that Tony realized something was wrong. That it wasn’t just happy-nervous jitters. 

“When’s that going to be?” Jane asked, voice light and pointed. 

“I—” Tony glanced at Loki to see that he was distracted, shoulders hunched and eyes distant. “When do you think?” Tony asked Loki, prompting him to come back into the conversation. 

“Soon,” Loki said. There was a hint of an apology in his voice when he looked to Tony and said, “I asked Tony to wait to tell Bruce until after we’d told you.” 

“I’m sure that Bruce will be thrilled,” Jane said immediately. Tony felt her foot pass his on the way to Thor again, and this time it was pretty damn hard to miss. Loki had to have felt it too. 

Thor looked between them both, and Tony felt a flood of that _Loki’s big brother is going to kill me_ paranoia from when they’d first started dating as Thor’s gaze lingered on him. “Congratulations,” he said awkwardly. Jane smiled at Thor, tight and impatient. “When are you going to tell our parents? Loki, have you—” His voice was bogged down with concern and Tony did not like where it was headed. 

“No worries there, big guy,” Tony cut in. “We’ll tell them when we’re ready. Right, Lo?” 

“Right,” Loki said distantly. 

Then, since the world itself seemed to have a sense of humor, they heard the rumble of thunder in the distance. It seemed that a spring storm was on its way. The air was getting humid and warm. 

“Loki,” Thor said. “Mother and father—” 

“Oh!” Jane held Azalea up. “She needs to be changed.” 

Delayed, Thor turned towards her, slightly annoyed. “I just changed her.” Tony didn’t know why his brain was supplying him with the observation that Thor was reminding him of Odin right now, but it was not helping the situation. Jane held Azalea up, sniffing her bum with that baffling familiarity parents had. 

“Nope. Definitely a blow out,” Jane said. “You take her.” 

“But I just—”

“Did you carry her for nine months, then breastfeed for six?” Jane asked in singsong. From the way the two acted, Tony was positive this was not the first time this conversation had happened. “And I don’t think I need to educate Tony and Loki on the joys of bleeding postpartum? It’s a month long process with contractions too—”

Thor got up, taking Azalea. 

The dog followed after them, tail wagging. 

Jane watched him until the door to the house slid shut. Then she turned around slowly, an apologetic crease on her brow. She reached out and gently set her hand on Loki’s shoulder. It baffled Tony not to see him flinch or fluster. Loki just accepted it, listening as Jane spoke. “Loki, I know that Thor will be thrilled when he gets over the shock of it,” she said, absolute conviction in her voice. Tony found himself believing her, and hoped that Loki did too. “Just give him a little time to get over the reality that his baby brother is an adult man that can get hitched.” 

Loki looked up to her, a hesitant relief taking something of the weight off his expression. Jane let go, sitting back. 

“And you have to understand,” she said. “Thor’s been a little jealous of Tony whether he wants to recognize it or not. He’ll get over it.” 

Tony opened his mouth a bit indignantly. “Jealous of us getting married?” 

“Tony, don’t make it weird,” Jane said, trying not to laugh. Loki seemed confused, and Jane spoke to him as she cleared it up. “Thor’s jealous of the way that you and Tony get along so well. I think somewhere he still wants you to be the little boy that followed his big brother around. Now that attention is focused on someone else, and he’s—jealous. But he’s proud of you. Loki. He really is.” 

Jane had told Tony before that Thor was jealous of Tony giving Loki the means to start his business too. Tony sat back as they heard another rumble of thunder in the distance. 

“Why?” Loki asked. There was irritation in it, though Tony knew that wasn’t directed at Jane. 

Jane gave him a patient smile. “Because you’ve done some amazing things, Loki.” She tapped one of the boxes on the table. “Look at your business. And you’re getting married. Of course he’s proud. _I’m_ proud of you.” 

Loki did not seem to know how to process that. 

Tony was getting uncomfortable with how emotional this was getting. 

There was another roll of thunder. Jane spared them both. “We should probably head inside before it rains.” 

No one spoke. Loki gathered up the boxes before Tony could, carrying them into the house for Jane and setting them on her kitchen counter. There was another roll of thunder, followed by the heavy drum of a pounding rain against the windows. “Tell Thor we had to go,” Loki said. “We’ll let him know when we’re having everyone over to tell them.” 

They’d just gotten here. Tony thought about saying so, but Loki had shoved his hands into his pockets and didn’t look like he wanted to discuss anything. Jane was giving him a sympathetic smile, and Tony thought she was going to pressure him to stay, but she didn’t. “I’ll let him know. Come on, I’ll walk you to the front.” 

When they got there, Loki paused uncomfortably beside the door. “Thanks, Jane. For—everything,” he said, not making eye contact. Jane set her hand on his shoulder. 

“Anytime. You’re always welcome here. You know that.” Loki nodded his head before pulling his jacket up, getting ready to step out into the rain. Suddenly there was a hand on Tony’s shoulder. Jane smiled at him. “Congrats, Tony.” 

He froze, wanting to pick Jane up into a hug out of sheer appreciation, but he was too concerned about Loki to act on it. 

“Thanks Jane.” 

He smiled awkwardly before stepping beside Loki in the doorframe, the wind catching a spray of water and hitting his jacket. “Let me get you an umbrella,” she said. 

“We’re fine,” Loki said. “Do you you have the keys?” He asked Tony, casually looking over at him. 

“I think we’re going to make a run for it,” Tony told Jane. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Loki move and made the first step forward, sprinting through the rain. It was fun. Tony fumbled for the keys, unlocking the doors just in time for Loki to yank his open. Tony jumped inside, laughing a bit as he wiped rain from his forehead, dropping his sunglasses on the dashboard and sending droplets flying. He turned to Loki, expecting to see a smile on his face. 

Loki was brushing a wet lock of hair behind his ear, frowning at the floor. The calm and collected air from inside was gone. “Hey,” Tony said, reaching over. He grabbed Loki’s thigh, rubbing his hand reassuringly against it. “You heard what Jane said. She’s right, Thor will come around.” Tony believed it. He honestly did. It was weird to recognize that Loki didn’t, though. “Just give him a couple days and he’ll be tripping over himself to be your best man.” 

“I don’t want a ceremony,” Loki mumbled out. Tony opened his mouth, about to say something light about how that was fine and they’d figure something out, when Loki started to cry. Big, silent tears that fell down his face to his clenched hands in his lap. Tony stared in shock for a moment. 

“Hey,” he said, chest aching. “It’s okay. Really, Lo, it’ll be okay. It’s okay. Thor will be excited, he will.” 

“Can you just pull out of the driveway?” Loki’s voice cracked. “I don’t want them to come out and see this—”

“Yeah, okay,” Tony said quickly, willing to do anything to make those tears stop. The radio came on, too loud and upbeat and wrong. Tony immediately shut it off. Rain pounded against the roof as Tony pulled away, starting the route home. 

Loki sniffled, turning his head towards the window. 

“Hey,” Tony said. He hated that he was fucking driving. He thought about stopping at the end of the neighborhood, but he knew Loki wanted to be home and he didn’t want to delay that. “Loki, it’ll be okay.” 

Tony turned the windshield wipers up to their maximum speed. 

The car rolled through a puddle, sending a spray of water off the road. Tony chose to take some of the side roads home, hoping that there’d be less traffic. 

Rain made the traffic lights reflect in long lines down the streets. The headlights of the cars they passed blurred like halos in the late afternoon downpour. 

Tony chewed on his bottom lip. 

Suddenly, Loki spoke, voice grinding out the words above sobs that threatened to break through. “Why does Thor—always—have to be—such an _idiot_?” 

Tony hadn’t expected the vitriol. 

“He’s _always_ like this when I want something.” 

Loki had told him about childhood squabbles, sure, but they hadn’t really talked about the years in there where Thor and Loki hadn’t been on the best of terms. Bits and pieces sure, but Tony had never witnessed Loki go off on a tirade about Thor before now. 

“What will Mum and Dad think? Like they _ever_. _Fucking_. Cared about what I wanted.” Loki took a deep breath through his heavily congested nose, the sound wet and broken. “He doesn’t—” Loki broke into a fresh fit of tears. “Get. It.” 

Tony scrambled for something to say, running through everything he’d heard Thor say over the years, hoping to find something that would reassure Loki and make him feel better. 

“I just—” Loki started. “Wanted—” Fuck this. Tony couldn’t drive them while Loki was crying. He pulled off on the side of the road, between a mailbox and some trash bins that had been left out on the curb. Loki rubbed at his face, but he was still crying. 

“Babe,” Tony said, undoing his seatbelt. He reached into Loki’s lap, fishing out a hand and digging his fingers between Loki’s. “Look. Thor was kind of douchey about the whole thing, but I don’t think he meant to be. Jane’s right, he’ll come around, you’ll see. Okay? I promise it’ll be okay.” 

It didn’t feel like that big of a deal to Tony, but his brown eyes went soft and worried as he witnessed its very different effect on Loki. 

“I’m just—” Loki took a breath, trying to steady himself. His whole face was flushed red. “ _Pissed!_ ” He gritted out, fresh tears spilling out. “Why is—my family so—fucked up?” He wiped a hand against his cheek, blinking quickly. Tony just knew he was fighting this fit with everything he had, trying not to cry. It hurt to realize how much it had to hurt Loki that he was like this anyway, unable to keep it in. “I knew it was going to be like this, why can’t they ever just—why can’t I be happy?” He finally looked to Tony, like Tony might know the answer. The red around his eyes made his eyes even greener. Tony’s heart ached at the watery sheen and pleading in them. 

Tony closed both hands around Loki’s, trying to think of the right thing to say. Thinking of things his therapist had said, about his family, and later about Loki’s, trying to find the thing that had made it feel better, or at least manageable. “Loki,” he said. “I’m with you, not your family,” he said, because that sentiment usually seemed to help get through to Loki. “I know they do shitty things, and I know this feels shitty.” He was just treading water here, but Loki was pressing his lips together, watching Tony and _not_ crying. “But Thor will come around. Okay? He will. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I know that he will.” It was fucking weird to see Thor effecting Loki like this though, to be on this side of it. It was changing how he saw Thor. “And your parents—” Fuck, he really didn’t have anything nice to say about that, honestly. “Will—just have to—” He was going to make up some nice bullshit, but that made him feel like a liar. “Fucking deal with it.” 

Loki’s gaze dropped down to his lap where their hands were tangled together. 

“And,” Tony said, afraid that he’d lost Loki, “if Thor doesn’t come around, I’ll knock some sense into him. Okay?” 

Loki smiled at that. Relief swept through Tony. “Alright, Lo?” Tony squeezed his hand, waiting. 

“Okay,” Loki said. He took a deep breath, appearing to be winding down. The hold on Tony’s hand slackened. 

“Why don’t we go home and finish up that video game we started, or you can pick something to make and I’ll help and I’ll clean up the dishes?” 

Loki wiped the palm of his hand against his cheek, then under his eyes, breathing in with a wet rasp. “You always miss spots when you’re cleaning.” His lips twitched with a broken smile. 

“Then I’ll wash them twice,” Tony said. He let go of Loki’s hand to rub his shoulder, in between annoying and comforting. “Alright Mr. Perfect?” 

“We can just finish up that game,” Loki said. 

“You’re hurting my pride here,” Tony answered. Loki smiled at him, relaxing back into the seat. He rubbed at his face, letting out a breath. They were in the clear. “Let’s go home,” Tony said. 

Tony pulled back onto the road, listening to the beat of the windshield wipers. 

This was not how he had expected this day to go. It was not how he had expected at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki brushed his thumb over his lips, his tongue glancing against it before he flipped through a few pages in his binder. Last month’s numbers were good but not perfect. He’d kicked his feet up on the armrest of his couch where he was stretched out, running through numbers and knocking around different ideas with no real intention of getting anything in particular done. Tony was working down in the lab. Loki planned to waste the afternoon in his room, working on his business and reading. 

The doorbell chimed downstairs. Probably a delivery for Tony. Loki flipped back through his binder, musing over when would be the best time in the schedule to get his tattoo done. 

The doorbell rang again. This time it was insistent, with two strikes in a row, one ring cutting off the first. Loki sat up. Tony was probably in the middle of something in the lab. Maybe it was a package that had to be signed for.

Loki made his way down the stairs, wondering how long it would be before Tony came up with a life model decoy that would just sign shit for him. When Loki made it to the door, he meant to just grab the handle and swing it open, but he glanced at the security camera’s feed. His hand froze over the door knob. 

Loki seethed at the image on the security feed. He thought that he’d gotten it all out with Tony yesterday, he really did, but now it was flooding him. Thor rang the fucking bell yet again. Loki yanked the door open. 

He glowered at Thor, his heart beginning to pound. 

Thor smiled sheepishly at him, holding a tragically oversized bouquet of flowers. “Loki,” he started, quiet. Loki wanted to kick him and slam the door in his face and scream and cry all at the same time. “Can I come in?” He asked hesitantly. 

It reminded Loki of the careful conversations that Thor tried starting with him back when Loki did slam the door in his face on a regular basis. 

“Who’s here?” Tony’s voice sounded brightly from behind him. “Is that my pack—” 

Tony skidded to a halt in the front hall. “—Age,” he finished dully, eyes weary and anxious as he recognized Thor in the doorway and looked to Loki. He needed to be distracted, Loki didn’t want Tony to stress out over them and there were things he needed to say to Thor. 

Loki stepped back from the doorway, lifting the bouquet from Thor’s hands and giving Thor a cue to come inside. “Tony,” Loki said. “These need to go in water.” Tony gave the flowers a dubious once over before looking back to Loki. There was no way he’d leave Loki alone on this one, and Loki knew it. “There’s a vase in the back of cabinet under the sink. We’ll be right there.” He extended the bouquet towards Tony, an expectant, almost demanding look in his eyes warring with the question in Tony’s. 

Loki thanked his lucky stars when Tony took the bouquet from his hands.“The glass one with the scalloped edge, right? I think I remember where that thing is,” Tony said. The flowers scattered a couple petals behind him as he left. 

Loki nudged the front door shut with his foot, folding his arms over his chest as he looked to Thor. Loki was radiating loathing and heartache and fury and weariness and a million other things that were all vying for his attention. His brother’s eyes returned from his friend’s receding back, guilt and apprehension clouding his clear blue eyes. “Loki,” he said, firmer now that he was inside. “I am sincerely sorry for my shortcoming yesterday. I should have celebrated the union between one of my best friends and my brother. I did not intend to come off as unsupportive, and I apologize. I am happy for you and Tony. I should have celebrated with you first before worrying. I am sorry for the way I hurt you yesterday.” 

Loki wanted to spit out a _yeah, you should have_ , but he recognized that Thor was trying. Really trying. He must’ve practiced that speech in the car repeatedly. Those flowers had Jane’s prompting written all over them though, but somewhere, Loki still wanted Thor’s approval. He wanted to hear it, even if he was still pissed. And if he went for blood now, he wouldn’t be getting that. Loki blinked, wavering, reconsidering his words. He still wanted to lay into Thor about it and cry again at the same time. “You could’ve at least let Tony be excited about it before you reminded him of our parents’ wishes,” Loki said. 

He’d tried. It was the best that he could do. 

And now that he was thinking about it, he was fucking pissed that Thor hadn’t been excited for Tony either. 

Thor didn’t take the criticism well. “I was only worried about you,” Thor said, frustrated suddenly. “I’m looking out for you. It doesn’t mean I don’t want you and Tony to get married, of course I do. I am immensely happy for you, Loki.” Loki knew that he meant it. He really did. 

But it didn’t make Loki feel happy the way he wanted it to. “Well I wouldn't have known.” 

Thor stared at him for a moment before glancing away, flexing his jaw slightly as he took in a deep breath. “Loki, I didn’t come over here because I wanted to argue with you. I wanted to apologize and makeup for yesterday.” 

“Well—” Loki combed his hand back through his hair, pushing his shoulders back. That was fair enough, and he wanted to forgive Thor, but he just couldn’t let it go. It was an impulse he couldn’t fight against. “Why’d you have to bring them up right away? Why couldn’t you have just let us have this for ten minutes?” Loki glared at him, expression a little too soft beneath the irritation, like he was still holding out on hope for something from Thor. 

“Loki,” Thor said slowly. “You were no different when I told you that I was marrying Jane.” Loki thought he heard Tony’s footsteps. “We discussed them then, too.” 

Loki struggled to recall that conversation. “That was different,” Loki hissed in a whisper. Everything was different then. “You told me over the phone.” 

Thor definitely heard Tony’s footsteps too now. Thor turned to look and Loki leaned in, quick to hiss out, “You always take Mum and Dad’s side, and if you’re going to be like that now, you can fuck off!” 

“That is not what I am trying to do,” Thor said at full volume. Tony appeared in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. Loki started walking towards him before Tony could say something, leaving Thor to follow in his wake. 

“Those flowers are nice,” Tony said, as they walked towards the kitchen. “I set them on the counter.” 

“Tony,” Thor said. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I reacted poorly, and I want you to know that I couldn’t be happier for you.” He sounded earnest. Loki believed him, he did, but he also didn’t care. 

“Thanks,” Tony said, sounding sincere and relieved. “It’s alright. You seemed surprised.” 

“I was,” Thor said. “But that’s no excuse.” 

“Ehh. Don’t beat yourself up over it, big guy.” Loki heard Tony pat Thor’s shoulder behind him as they entered the kitchen. 

Loki walked to one of the cabinets, taking out a tea tin and popping off the lid. “Do you want some?” Loki asked, keeping his back to them. 

“No. I’m good,” Tony said. “Thor?” 

“Sure,” he said, probably just for the sake of accepting Loki’s offer. 

Loki grabbed the kettle, unable to look away as he poured water inside. He knew he wasn’t acting right, but he couldn’t stop himself. Loki set it on the stove, crossing his arms and watching the flames dance beneath as if it needed to be attended to. He heard Thor and Tony taking a seat at the table, making conversation. He just couldn’t. 

Loki dug his nails down into his hair, combing it away from his face, as he stared at the kettle. 

It was like yesterday with Thor had peeled back the bandaid that had settled over old wounds since he’d started dating Tony. Loki talked to Thor now, and shared things with him that he wouldn’t have if his life depended on it five years ago. They were finally in a good place again. Loki didn’t want to lose that. But hearing him yesterday, bringing up their parents, it was like, he just, it was like how Thor had been on his case about getting a job for ages and how he was selfish and just all of that shit, with school and their parents and working, Thor had never listened, and now Loki was going to be going through it all again, but this time he’d be dragging Tony through the fucking mess that was his family…the kettle started to whistle. 

Loki took his sweet fucking time pouring the tea, adding honey and not daring a glance in their direction. Thor and Tony were talking about how Tony had made the rings. 

And that made Loki’s heart just fucking ache, because he loved those rings, he loved them to the point that it was stupid because Tony had made them for him. And he wanted to share that with Thor, he wanted to brag, but he just— Loki picked up the two mugs. He walked over to the table, not missing Tony’s unsettled glance in his direction. 

He set one mug in front of Thor with a heavy thud before sinking into the chair beside Tony. 

Loki brought the mug to his lips, keeping his gaze trained on the table. 

“We spent a few hours down in the lab working on them,” Tony said. “Didn’t we?” He asked, trying to draw Loki in. One of his feet slid in against Loki’s under the table, a habit so common that Loki doubted Tony was even conscious of it anymore. He brushed his toes against Tony in reply, hoping to convey some sense of comfort. 

He wasn’t upset with Tony and he didn’t want to come off that way, but here he was, acting like an asshole because he couldn't fucking let it go. 

“Tony figured out all of the technicalities. I just helped with the design,” Loki said, placing his hand flat on the table to display the ring. He was mildly surprised when Tony’s fingers slipped around his, lifting Loki’s hand from the table. 

Tony cradled it in his, tapping a finger against the finish. “He didn’t want it to be too glossy,” Tony said. “So I came up with a texture so it’d be more matte, except for the bit on the edges here.” Loki felt a small smile creep at his lips, warmth pooling into the flurry in his chest for a brief moment as Tony held his hand. 

“They’re incredible,” Thor said. If Loki wasn’t wrong, there was a note of envy in his voice. 

“I’m just glad that Loki likes them,” Tony said. 

Loki smiled at him a bit chidingly, nudging his foot. “We could’ve gone store bought, but this is better.” Tony withdrew his hand, but seemed pleased with the compliment. “I think they’re the best invention to come out of your lab,” Loki teased. 

“Watch it,” Tony answered, shrugging off his amusement. 

“Have you decided when you’ll be telling everyone?” Thor asked. 

“Probably next weekend,” Tony said, the words leaving his mouth slowly as he looked to Loki for confirmation. It was whatever Tony wanted. Loki nodded his head. “And probably Bruce sooner, when I see him on Tuesday.” 

“I am going to have a hard time keeping it in,” Thor said. “I am excited for you.” 

For a brief moment, it was like nothing had happened. Loki heard and believed him and felt like the brother he loved had his back. But then the thought soured. 

“Well keep your lips zipped,” Tony said playfully. “We’re not going to let it get around for a while.” He looked to Loki with a grin, but Loki’s lips were wrapped around the brim of his mug. He sipped. 

Thor beamed at them, looking like he wanted nothing more than to give them one of his trademark hugs that could pop the bones in your back. “Thank you for sharing this with me and Jane first,” he said. “I am sorry again for how it went.” 

Tony waved him off. “It’s fine,” he said, taking a nervous glance towards Loki. 

Loki shrugged. 

Tony was Thor’s friend too, and Tony probably wanted Loki to be excited. Tony had been right about the whole Thor coming around thing. Loki was being selfish. He didn’t want Tony to feel bad about this, he wanted Tony to be happy. It wasn’t Tony’s fault that he was having issues. 

“Glad to do it,” Loki said crisply, hoping that Tony didn’t notice his tone. 

Thor sat there awkwardly for a moment, uncertain of what to say. Despite it all, Loki felt sorry for Thor in that moment. Thor looked particularly pitiful in his blue flannel plaid shirt that looked more like something Jane would wear, with his wavy blond hair down and eyes as blue and sincere as ever. Loki sighed. Why couldn’t the dolt just see things his way? 

“We’ll let you and Jane know as soon as we pick a date,” Loki promised. It felt so far off in the future that it seemed unreal as he said it. 

Thor smiled at him. “We will be thrilled to be there.” The smile turned uncomfortable, guilty almost. The balance between anger and pity continued to sway in Loki’s chest. “I am proud of you both,” he said. 

It was exactly what Loki had wanted to hear. He softened for a moment, missing the way that Tony looked at him. 

“I know you’ll be happy together,” Thor said. “If you need help with any of the legal paperwork, don’t hesitate to call me.” 

Tony leaned back in his seat. “That’d be great,” he said. “So how’s that playground for Azalea coming along? It looked like you were pretty much done with it.” 

“Oh,” Thor said. “It is except for the turrets at the top. You probably saw the flagpoles sticking out. I was planning to buy pendants to attach to them this weekend.” 

“That’s what they were?” Tony asked. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to attach something to them to create a climbing net or what,” he said. Loki doubted that. Tony knew his shit. He was just being nice. 

“Yes. I know she’s too young to really use it yet, but I figure she’ll be of the right age before I know it.” 

“Yeah. They grow up fast, don’t they?” 

Loki followed along with the conversation, but he didn’t actually say much. He just nursed his tea and hummed along whenever Tony prompted him. Tony’s uncomfortable glances in his direction were getting more and more noticeable. Loki got up for another cup of tea. He took Thor’s mug without asking. 

“We’ve thought that Azalea may need a playmate,” Thor said. Loki had missed whatever was said before it. He stilled as he grabbed the tea canister. “Jane is not ready for another so soon, although with her being older she’s apprehensive. Truthfully, I am not certain we will, although I would like another.” 

Loki adjusted the tea kettle, listening to the metallic rattle it made. “You’d better make sure that fort’s big enough for two then,” Tony said lightheartedly. Thor started telling him some technicality about building it. Loki stopped picking at his nails. By the time he’d finished making the tea, they were talking about something else. 

Loki set Thor’s mug down in front of him again, then proceeded to play with his own mug, nudging it around in circles. He began to mentally draw the design where his new ink would go, imaging how it would look against what was already there. At least there was adequate space for it. 

“Yeah, maybe we should have lunch sometime this week,” Tony said. Loki hadn’t been paying attention. Thor nodded, getting up. 

“I should let you get back to your day,” Thor said. “Thank you for having me over.” 

“Anytime,” Tony said. He patted Thor’s arm as they started towards the front door. Thor glanced back at him. Loki smiled in response, his cheeks stiff with the motion, eyes hard and set. There was another handful of pleasantries as they got to the front door. 

Thor apologized and wished them well again. He looked to Loki like a sad, but resigned golden retriever as he stood outside on the front step. “Thanks for the flowers,” Loki said. That seemed to be good enough. Thor smiled a lot brighter and waved goodbye, heading for his car. 

Loki turned and started up the steps to his room before Tony could shut the door. 

Loki was surprised when he didn’t hear Tony call after him, but he wasn’t about to question his good luck. Instead he quickened his pace to reach the top of the stairs before darting into his room and quietly closing the door. 

If he was truly lucky, Tony would go down to the lab and they’d either let this afternoon go or maybe, if Loki was super lucky, Tony wouldn’t have noticed that anything had been amiss and he’d be in the clear. Or maybe Tony just wouldn’t bring it up. That was a possibility too. 

Loki paced into the room. He could work. He could also go out onto the balcony and play dumb if Tony came up here, pretending not to hear him at the door. The couch seemed inviting though, and all he wanted to do was throw himself down on it. He indulged. 

Loki stared up at the ceiling, wondering why he couldn’t have just taken Thor’s approval and let go. Why he’d wanted it in the first place. 

Why everything had to be such a god damn ordeal. 

Thor was right about their parents, Loki knew he was. They’d be assholes about it, and then Tony would have to suffer for it, and that thought alone was really fucking killing Loki. At least when they were married, Loki would be able to be there for Tony if something happened. And if something happened to him, then Loki’s parents couldn’t shut Tony out. 

Loki had thought of that. 

It was not a pleasant thought at all. 

He hadn’t made a point of it, but Loki knew that if something happened to him, his parents wouldn’t give a fuck about Tony’s wishes on the matter. Loki rolled onto his side, facing the back of the couch. He traced his finger against his favorite patch of worn out threads. _You were no different when I told you that I was marrying Jane._ Loki tried to go back to that conversation. 

Thor had told him that Jane was pregnant and that they were getting married at the same time. Of course they’d talked about their parents. 

Mainly what Loki remembered from that conversation was a feeling of dread at the drama he’d known would go down. 

Maybe he hadn’t been jumping for joy for Thor either. 

But that was different. He hadn’t gotten close again with Thor back then. They’d just started talking to each other more and rebuilding. It wasn’t like now, when Loki would go over to Thor and Jane’s house and stay late after babysitting to talk. It wasn't like now, when Loki would tell Thor about the things that upset him in the hope of some good advice. 

Fuck. He didn’t know. It certainly didn’t help to suddenly feel guilty about it. Maybe he’d been crappy then? Or not. 

But still. He was just so fucking pissed!

There was a knock at the door. 

Tony didn’t wait for Loki’s reply before pushing the door open a crack. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah,” Loki said, sitting up. He moved to sit back against the armrest, trying to be casual. Tony glanced at the spot beside him before sitting down on the couch with a heavy thump from the seat cushion. 

Tony pressed his lips together, his brown eyes alert, thoughtful. Tony crossed his legs, facing Loki. “Lo,” he said. 

It didn’t matter how many times Tony said his name like that, every time Loki felt a fresh flicker of affection at the endearment. “What went on down there?” Tony asked. There was frustration and accusation in it, but Tony seemed like he was trying to mask that in favor of starting a conversation. 

Loki rubbed his nose. It looked like his luck was not going to spring him out of this one. 

He’d be better off just telling Tony. “Tony,” he said. He had to be careful not to upset Tony, because Thor was Tony’s friend too. He didn’t want to upset that dynamic or start a fight. “It’s fine. I just—” He took in a breath, staring at one of his posters. “It brought up some old issues from the years we weren’t getting along, and I—guess I’m still feeling pissed about it.” 

“How so?” 

“Just with him taking my parents’ side.” Loki tried to give Tony the most reassuring smile that he could to end it.

Skepticism pulled Tony’s mouth back into a frown. “It didn’t seem to me like he was taking their side,” Tony said slowly, like he wasn’t entirely sure he should be correcting Loki. 

Loki paused, realizing that wasn’t what he’d meant. “Not about us getting married,” Loki said. “Just—in general,” he finished weakly.

“Okay,” Tony said. “But that doesn’t explain why you were giving him the cold shoulder down there. I thought you were going to snap his head off.” 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Loki said. “I told him it was fine, didn’t I?” 

“Loki,” Tony said. “It didn’t take a genius to figure out that you were pissed.” 

“Well—” Loki hesitated. 

“Just tell me, Lo. I know that he’s my friend, but you can tell me.” Tony spoke with tired frustration, but understanding too. Loki stopped chewing on his lip. Maybe he should just tell Tony. 

“I—suppose—” He rubbed the back of his neck. “When Thor came in, it just brought up all these—old feelings about old fights we’d had and I guess I just still _feel_ pissed at him.” Loki scratched his fingernail against a seam in the couch. “We fight a lot. That’s just something that siblings do. I’ll get over it. We’ll come around,” Loki promised. “I know he’s your friend too—”

“Lo, I know we’re friends.” Tony reached out and cupped his hand over Loki’s knee. “But you come first with me, alright?” Tony said quietly, sincerely. 

Suddenly, Loki wanted to cry again. He stared at Tony, wondering if his fiancé had any idea of how much those words meant to him. How fucking perfect Tony was sometimes. 

“So whatever it is,” Tony said. “You don’t have to give me the watered down version. I saw how upset you were yesterday. I know that Thor upset you. I get that I know Thor one way, but you’re his brother and that’s different. I want to understand, so fill in the gaps for me, Lo.” 

“I—” It was all going to come pouring out, but that was okay suddenly. He didn’t have to censor it. “Don’t know why I couldn’t just accept his apology,” Loki admitted. He scratched the edge of his thumbnail against his pointer finger. His legs were crossed on the couch, his hands in his lap. Tony had let go to rest his arm over the back of the couch. “I just—” Loki’s brow furrowed as he thought about it, trying to make sense of it without getting swept away in the current of emotion it brought up. “I know I was pretty awful to Thor for a couple of years there,” Loki said quietly. 

He couldn’t bring himself to look up for Tony’s reaction. He dug his thumbnail in without hurting himself, dragging it along the vulnerable edge between tender skin and sharp nail. “He tried to help, but he didn’t get it. He was always taking their side, telling me that I needed to change and that I was being unfair.” 

“Tried to help with what?” Tony asked. Loki glanced up, and Loki realized that Tony wasn’t regarding him with the judgment he’d expected. 

“First, when I left Dartmouth.” Loki rubbed his hand against his face, recoiling from the memory that surfaced. “I made the mistake of telling both of my parents at once.” Loki smiled disdainfully at his own naivety. “I came home over break and told them all of the reasons why I thought that I was justified in leaving, and I’d assumed that they’d see it as a level headed decision like I did. I didn’t—expect the shit show that it turned out to be.

“Thor was out of town at the time, and he called me when I was back at school. When I told them, I’d argued with them and we’d had a huge fight—” Loki gestured awkwardly with his hand, trying to put it all together chronologically. “I spent the rest of that break up in my room, and a few days later I was back at school. I guess Mum told him about it,” Loki said, staring listlessly at the couch. 

“He called me the first night I was back and told me what a mistake I was making, that I was being selfish and how hard our parents had worked to get me to that school—and I didn’t have a plan on what I was going to do next, so I looked stupid.” 

“He said that?” Tony asked.

Loki shook his head. “No. That’s just—I hadn’t had a plan on what my next step was going to be. I just knew that I wanted out.” Tony hummed, thinking. “We got into a fight about it because I hadn’t asked him and he called up, and I just didn’t need the lecture—” Loki paused, grimacing. “I tried to explain to him what I was doing, why I was doing it, but he didn’t get it.” 

Loki combed his fingers back through his hair, allowing his back to lean against the armrest. “And then I dropped out anyway, and by the summer they’d given up on trying to convince me to stay or go back, so my mother used one of her connections to get me enrolled in a top culinary school, and I thought that’d be the end of it, but—it wasn’t.” 

Loki was trying to decide where to continue from when Tony spoke. “What’d Thor think of you going to culinary school?” 

“He—was fine with it,” Loki decided. “It was what I wanted to do and Mum had got me in, so he—well, I suppose he still felt I made a poor decision.” Tony frowned, clearly thinking hard about something. “While I was there, I fought with my father a lot. He didn’t respect my decision, he wanted me to come and work for the family business, and one break I decided to go and get my fingers done so he wouldn’t rope me back in—”

“What do you mean?” Tony interrupted. 

Loki brushed his thumb over the faded ink on the end of his middle finger. “That’s why I got the pattern done on my fingers,” Loki said. “Luckily, I have room for the ring one to be added,” he thought aloud. “The artist didn’t want to do it at first because I only had the one on my arm, but I told him the story and sweet talked him into it—” He was getting off track. “I knew that if I got these done, he’d stop asking me to come work for him because I wouldn’t look like corporate material, and—that really appealed to me,” Loki said honestly. 

“Were you afraid of him forcing you back?” Tony asked. 

Loki had never put it in those terms before. “Yes,” he said reluctantly. “But it felt like a great fuck you at the time.” Loki stared down at his hands. “I liked seeing my hands like this everyday and knowing that I couldn’t go back.” 

Tony had gone silent, and Loki had the impression that he’d said something particularly heavy. It didn’t feel that way to him now when he was speaking about it. “We were talking about Thor today though, weren’t we?” He asked, giving Tony a wry smile. 

Tony shifted his position on the couch, adjusting the way his legs were crossed. “This is all part of it though, isn’t it?” Tony asked. It was rhetorical. 

“Afterwards—well you know that things went to shit after I graduated,” Loki said, ashamed of those years. If he hadn’t met Tony during them, he’d never have told Tony about them at all. Or anyone else, for that matter. “Thor and I had a lot of fights because I wasn’t working, or when I was, I wasn’t holding down a job long enough to get on my feet, and I think that—I know that he was worried,” Loki corrected himself. “But he acted like I’d chosen to be like that, which I suppose that I had, but I had a reason—” Tony’s hand set on his knee again. 

“I know,” he said. 

Right. They’d talked about that, hadn’t they? Loki took a breath. “Most of our conversations in those years were arguments,” Loki said. “I don’t know why he kept coming back after every time I’d cuss him out,” Loki said quietly. “Honestly, the only reason that we met at that party was because he’d bribed me to go by paying for the food I made, and he’d only wheedled me into coming because Mum and Dad wanted me to mix with new people.” 

They were quiet for a moment. 

“Well, that is the one bit of their manipulation that I’ve ever liked,” Tony said. 

Loki smiled. “I’m glad you had the balls to hit on me.” 

“Best decision my dick’s ever made,” Tony said lightly, patting his knee. Loki grinned, huffing out a little laugh. 

“You know, when we started dating, he warned me to be nice to you?” Loki asked. 

Tony’s face stumbled to a halt, freezing with incredulity until Tony shook himself out of it a second later. “He did?” 

“Mhmm.” Loki rested his arm over the back of the couch, leaning into it. “He told me I was moody and he was worried about my temper. That I’d better be good around you.” Loki grinned, deeply amused, even if there was a bittersweet tang to it. It wasn’t exactly like Thor had been wrong. He had his faults. 

“I can’t believe you got the shovel talk about me,” Tony said, flabbergasted. Loki nodded, grinning to the side as he gazed at the stack of CDs lying on top of his old TV. “So back to today,” Tony said. 

Right. He’d been feeling so content suddenly that he hadn’t wanted to dive back in. “Things have gotten a lot better between Thor and me since we started dating,” Loki said with a glance in Tony’s direction. “We talk, for one thing.” 

“You didn’t in the past?” 

Loki shook his head. “Not unless it was to argue about our parents.” 

“Oh.” 

Loki blinked, watching confusion flicker across Tony’s face. “Does that surprise you?” 

“I mean,” Tony said. “I guess I got that you guys fought a lot, but I figured there was still some talking and stuff in there.” 

“No,” Loki said. He rested his cheek against his fist where it was propped up against the couch. “When we started dating, I guess it gave Thor something else to talk to me about,” Loki said, just now realizing it himself. “And with Jane’s pregnancy and the wedding and everything that was going on, we sort of came back together again.” 

“For a couple of years there,” Loki said, “I wasn’t exactly kind to him.” Loki pressed his lips together. “I guess I can’t really expect for him to be perfect for me now.”

“But you’re better now,” Tony tried, still attempting to fit the pieces together it seemed.

“Yeah,” Loki said. He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, thinking. “Aside from today, I guess.” He rubbed his nose. “We’re a hell of a lot better than we used to be.” 

“I think I’ve told you, I didn’t really hear Thor say much about you two,” Tony said. “I knew you had problems, but I didn’t know much. I’ve only seen you two together since we started dating.” 

“That’s probably for the best,” Loki decided. 

Tony rubbed a hand against his finely knit sock. He seemed a little tired, but Loki liked the way the light from the window was catching his hair, softly illuminating the ends. 

“It’s hard with Thor,” Loki said. “Because on one hand, we’re siblings and we understand how our parents work. I know that Thor would kick someone’s ass if they tried to lay a hand on me.” 

“You’d do the same for him,” Tony cut in, before Loki could finish. 

Loki only curtly nodded his head in reply, unwilling to voice the tenderness behind that sentiment. “On the other hand, we’d be happy to kick each other’s asses.” He smiled, shaking his head slightly. He was making light of it, but it was true. “And he gets the things with our parents, but it’s also different. He’s their biological son, I’m not.” Loki let his head drop back towards the ceiling as he took a breath. “And he’s older, and our father favors him…” Loki glanced at Tony. 

Tony was watching him, shoulders hunched forward and both hands on his feet. “I guess I don’t get the whole sibling thing,” Tony admitted. “I mean, I get it, but—” He shrugged, turning his head to the side. “Not really, I guess. I mean, you and Thor seem like you’re close, even with all that.” 

“Well,” Loki said. “It’s not like I’m not mad with him right now.” Tony’s eyes snapped back to him, and Loki felt like he’d made a mistake. “I mean, we’ll get over it,” Loki amended. 

Tony let out a quiet sigh, thinking again. “Do you really not want a ceremony?” Tony asked, cautious. 

“No. I want one,” Loki lied. Well, it was a half-lie, really. 

He knew that not having one wasn’t an option. Tony wanted a ceremony, Loki knew he did even though he hadn’t pushed for one. Tony deserved to have his friends around him to celebrate, and Loki wasn’t going to deny him that. He’d actually been a little excited too, when he’d thought things with Thor would go smoothly. Now he was ambivalent. 

He wanted his parents there too, if he was being honest. Or his mother, at least.

He didn’t have anyone else he really cared that much about. 

Tony was holding his gaze like he knew there was more to it. “Just a small one,” Loki added. Tony relaxed. “I don’t want a huge wedding, Tony. I don’t want my parents to turn it into a political event,” he said truthfully. “I don’t want to get married in front of a hundred of my parents’ closest business contacts.” 

“I’m with you on that,” Tony said. 

“Who do you want there?” Loki asked, trying to gauge what kind of ride he’d be along for. 

“Just—Clint and Bruce and Sam and everybody, you know, the people we hang out with. I want our friends to be there.” Loki rubbed his thumb against his palm. He’d never had the heart to tell Tony that he didn’t think of them as his friends. He liked them well enough, but in his head they’d always be Tony’s friends, amended from being Thor’s friends. “And I don’t have any family, so…” 

“What about people at your company?” Loki asked. 

Tony thought about it for a minute, scratching his beard. “I don’t know,” he said. “I guess I want Happy to be there if I invite my employees because he’d enjoy it, but I don’t want to invite my whole company. And if you invite one you have to invite them all…Are you going to invite your employees?” 

“I hadn’t really been set on it,” Loki said. He didn’t want to invite his work life into a private occasion. His employees saw him one way as their boss. He didn’t want them to see him getting starry eyed over his fiancé. 

“Anyone else?” Tony asked. 

Loki shook his head slightly, mildly ashamed that he didn’t have any other names to offer. “That’s it.” 

“So something small with our friends and Thor and—”

“—my parents,” Loki added. He might as well say it. 

Tony slowly took the information in. At least he was polite enough not to comment on it. “And your parents,” he said. “Just something small. I think we can make that work.” Tony leaned back against the armrest. “I’ll probably have to throw a company party for my employees,” he said. “But that can be later. I don’t have to worry about that now.” 

Loki laced his fingers together before running them along the top of his head, balancing them there for a moment. The last couple of days had been more stressful than he’d anticipated. 

“How long do you want to put off telling your parents?” Tony asked. 

“A while,” Loki answered dimly. “I’m not ready yet.” 

“Okay,” Tony said. It wasn’t the answer that Loki had been expecting. “We have time,” Tony said. Loki’s face must’ve shown more surprise than he realized. “We can take our time,” Tony said. 

“Thanks,” Loki answered. It was so casual that he almost wasn’t sure what he was saying it to, but he knew that he meant it. 

“Uh, Lo.” Tony was suddenly uncomfortable. “I’m still having legal draft something up. I, uh, I know we’re getting married and it won’t matter as much then, but I have been thinking about if something happened and I just, I’d feel like we could relax better and take our time if that wasn’t a part of the issue. Just something for in-between to give us peace of mind.” 

Loki leaned forward so he could reach Tony’s feet. He gave the one a light squeeze. “I think that’s a great idea.” 

Tony sank back down into the cushions again, letting his head rest against the back of the of the couch. 

“Was what you were working on in the lab important?” Loki asked. 

Tony shook his head. “No. I was just putting together projects for work.” 

“Do you want to go out?” Loki asked. The whole day had kind of been a mess, and he wanted to do something to make up for it. 

“Can we go to the pool supply store?” 

“You want to go to the pool supply store?” Loki asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. I want to get an inflatable that’ll put whatever Clint comes up with this year to shame, and I want to look at some stuff before we open it. I was thinking of making some upgrades and there are things I need.” 

“If that’s what you want,” Loki said, trying not to laugh. 

It was a relief to him that Tony would share this kind of shit with him now. When they’d started out, there was no way that Tony would’ve been willing to ask, but now it was simply what he wanted to do and he asked. It made Loki feel closer to him. “Do you want to go now?” Loki asked. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, standing up. He stretched his arms over his head. 

“You know, if you really want to put Clint to shame, you’re probably going to have to look online,” Loki said. “I’m not sure that the store will have something that grand.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “But it’s worth a shot. And I want to look at their lighting stuff because I was thinking of doing something different this year, and I might try to improve the heater.” 

“That’d be nice,” Loki said. “We could open it earlier in the year then.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. They talked about it all the way down to the car, and when Loki got in, he was feeling a little more settled. Really, the pool supply store with Tony wasn’t a bad way to spend an afternoon.


	3. Chapter 3

“Don’t put that in your mouth.” Tony stared Loki down over the countertop, one hand on his hip as he leaned forward, daring Loki to do it and see what would happen. 

“Why,” Loki said, twirling the chocolate from the box between his pointer and middle finger, “I do believe that is the first time I’ve ever heard you say that to me.” 

Tony tried not to laugh, because then Loki would just be winning. He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t.” Tony said. “You _know_ that’s the flavor I wanted—”

Loki raised both eyebrows at him, a challenge, before slipping the chocolate halfway between his lips. “Then take it,” he mumbled around it, allowing it to tip from between his teeth. “I know what you’re doing,” Tony said. He came around the counter, stopping an inch away from Loki. “Damn it Loki,” Tony said, an amused grin breaking through. “Why do you have to be so good when you know Bruce is going to be here soon—”

Fuck it, Tony decided, launching himself up on the tips of his toes and snagging the end of the chocolate from Loki. Loki bit down, keeping his half, but Tony captured most of it. Tony chewed and swallowed it down too fast to savor it, but his eyes were soft and thrilled as he gloated back at Loki. 

Loki looked entirely pleased with himself as he wiped a smear of chocolate from his bottom lip with his thumb. “I want another box of those,” Tony warned him. 

“They were a sample,” Loki said. 

“Guess you’re going to have to actually buy some then,” Tony said. Loki scowled at him but there was no real malice in it. Just then, the doorbell began to ring. “Stay here. I’ll get it,” Tony said, heading for the front door. 

Tony threw the door open, allowing Bruce and an overflowing tote bag of papers to come inside. “I’ll take those,” Tony said, lifting the bag from Bruce’s hands. Bruce blinked, already aware that something was up. Tony did a quick little jog to set the bag down by the lab door. “I’ll look at them after I tell you something,” Tony said. “Come with me.” 

“Tony,” Bruce fretted. “Please don’t tell me you built another robot.” 

“No robots,” Tony answered cheerfully.

Bruce scrutinized the living room as he followed Tony towards the kitchen. “Is it a pet?” He guessed. “I know Loki wants to get a dog.” 

“It’s not a pet,” Tony said, but Bruce was eyeing him like he thought Tony was lying. “It’s not,” Tony promised, smiling. 

Loki was leaning over the counter, picking through the box of chocolates. He stood up straight when Bruce came in. “Hello, Bruce.” 

“Good to see you again,” Bruce said before wearily glancing around the kitchen. He must’ve really thought that they got a pet. Tony hurried to walk up beside Loki, wrapping one arm around his waist and guiding him out from behind the counter. 

“Look,” Tony said, grabbing Loki’s hand and slipping their fingers together so that the rings were side by side. Tony extended their hands out towards Bruce, leaning some of his weight into Loki as he did. “We’re engaged.” 

Bruce’s mouth dropped open before he looked at Tony in surprise, his whole face lighting up. “You are! Tony, that’s great!” Bruce glanced up towards Loki too. “Congratulations!” 

Loki’s weight relaxed against him, a gentle pride settling on his face. 

“Tony made the rings,” Loki said. 

Bruce leaned in closer, so Tony held their hands up for him to see. “Tony, that’s incredible.” They unclasped their hands so that Tony could rotate his hand, showing both sides of the ring. Loki followed, doing the same. “That must’ve been a lot of work,” Bruce said, impressed. “I am so happy for you both. That’s great.” 

Tony was beaming, unaware of how much of weight he was leaning against Loki until Loki’s hand settled on his back to steady them. “We’re going to tell everyone at the party this weekend,” Tony said. “But I wanted to tell you first.” 

“Tony,” Bruce said, touched. “If I’d known, I would’ve brought a bottle of champagne or something.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony said. “There’ll be plenty of that this weekend.” 

Loki started telling Bruce about how Tony made the rings. It was becoming a familiar story now, and Tony helped tell it with ease. At the end of the conversation, somehow, his hand had found itself back with Loki’s. He squeezed Loki’s hand, smiling up at him. “Well,” Tony said. “I guess we should probably take a look at your work,” he told Bruce. He reluctantly let go of Loki’s hand, absently wondering if Loki could tell how utterly content he felt. Loki quietly smiled back at him before retreating behind the counter to pick up whatever he’d been working on. Bruce congratulated them again before they went down to the lab. 

Tony spread out Bruce’s papers all across his long computer desk, rolling the chair that Loki usually sat in to Bruce. It was kind of weird to see Bruce sitting in it, even though that was the way it’d always been in the years before he met Loki. After studying the papers for five minutes, Tony said, “There’s the problem.” 

He discussed it with Bruce, brainstorming a couple of fixes for the work before settling on one and checking over everything once more. 

“I feel kind of silly for not catching that,” Bruce said. 

Tony shrugged. It hadn't been a simple mistake. It was actually a complex answer to a complex problem, but he knew Bruce felt self conscious sometimes. “Happens to everyone.” 

They sat there for a moment before Bruce pivoted the computer chair towards him. “So,” he said. “That’s really exciting about you and Loki. You must be thrilled.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I am.” He tapped a pen against the table, glancing up at Bruce. “We told Thor,” he said. “It was…weird.” 

Bruce let his head fall back against the chair. “How so?” 

Tony frowned. “Loki wanted to tell him first and I said okay, and he was really excited about it, and then we went over there and it was like, Thor was in shock. Jane was excited, but Thor—” Tony’s brow furrowed into heavy worry lines. “I don’t know, he was more concerned about their parents, and Loki was pretty beat up over it.” 

Bruce folded his hands together on the table, listening for a moment longer before speaking. “Did they get into an argument?” 

“No,” Tony said. “But the next day, Thor came over to apologize. I told Loki that Thor would come around and be happy for him, and he did. The guy just needed to sleep on it to come to his senses. But Loki was still upset, and I—” Tony licked his lips. “He talked to me about it, and I got the impression that Thor was always on his case and harping on him before this, about work and school and what not, but Loki kind of summed it up a lot. He said they didn’t get along at all for a few years. I don’t know if it was a lot worse than he said it was or if it was just that simple,” Tony said. “He’s really—protective of Thor, and I don’t think he realizes it.” 

Bruce nodded, thinking. “He was upset about what happened in the past, right?” Tony nodded. “Why’d he get upset about that though?” Bruce asked. “Isn’t it over? Shouldn’t he have been upset about Thor’s reaction when you told him instead?” 

“Loki said that Thor always took their parents’ side. I think that Loki thinks that Thor is going to do that to him again with the wedding, or something.” Tony began to comb his fingers back through his hair, but stopped when he felt the slick of product. He’d forgotten he’d used it. “I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t remember much about Thor and Loki in the years before we were dating.” Tony looked to Bruce, hoping that his friend knew more. “I knew Thor had a little brother he didn’t get along with, and I knew he was worried about him and they had fights, but we didn’t really talk about it.” 

Tony didn’t say it was because a lot of the focus had been on him back then, and Thor wouldn’t have exactly come running to confide something in Tony. Plus, being the baby of the group, there were things he wasn’t told sometimes. Bruce hummed, taking his glasses off. 

“I mean, there were a couple of times there where the way that Thor talked about him you’d think he was crazier than a bag of cats.” Bruce gave him an apologetic look then, probably thinking better of what he’d said. “But that was also coming from Thor—I don’t think he understood why Loki did what he did. It didn’t seem sane to him. I’m sure you understand Loki’s reasons better than I do,” Bruce said. Tony nodded, running through it in his head. “And if Loki’s protective of his brother, I can say it runs the other way too. I think it’s very much an ‘I can complain about him but don’t you dare’ sort of thing.” 

“I just think that if I can figure out where Thor’s coming from, I might understand where Loki’s coming from a bit better,” Tony said. 

Bruce paused in the middle of cleaning his lenses against his shirt. “You don’t want to ask Thor?” 

“No,” Tony said. “I don’t want to get my ass kicked.” He faked a laugh. He didn’t really think that. “And I don’t want them to think I’m trying to get in the middle of it,” Tony said. Bruce’s lips slouched down. “I know it’s going to be tough telling their parents, and I want to—I don’t know. Make it easier.” Tony ran his tongue over his teeth, staring down at the table. “I feel like I should know a little more considering how long I’ve been friends with Thor. Like maybe I forgot something I shouldn’t have.” 

“I don’t think so,” Bruce answered. “I don’t think you’re missing anything. If they need to work it out, then that’s up to them.” Bruce put his glasses back on. “But what about you?” 

Tony glanced up from his hands. “What about me?” 

“I know you said that Loki was pretty beat up over it, but what about you? Thor’s your friend too.” 

“I mean,” Tony said, glancing away and pouting his bottom lip a bit. “I wasn’t that hung up over it.” Bruce didn’t really look like he believed him. “Hey,” Tony said, resting his forearms on top of the table. “I’d never seen the big guy that surprised, but I’ve also never seen him apologize so much in his life. He looked like he expected Loki to hit him or something.” 

Bruce made an uncomfortable face. 

“Not actually, like I don’t think Loki really would, I didn’t mean it like that. Just, Thor was really sorry, you know?” Tony sighed. “You know Bruce, if I could just write the whole thing off as Loki’s temper, I would, but Loki doesn't have a temper just to have one. There’s always a reason.” He rubbed his forehead. “And after we saw Thor, I feel like maybe I don’t really know him.” 

As he said it, he realized that was what this whole conversation was about. He was hoping that Bruce could help him. Tell him that Thor was the person he’d always known, that he’d just overlooked something that would make all of this make sense. That Thor was exactly who Tony thought he was. 

“Everyone’s a little different around different people,” Bruce said gently. “You’re probably just seeing the side of Thor that’s what he’s like when he’s around his brother.”

“I mean, he didn’t act that different,” Tony said. “But the effect he had on Loki—” Tony licked his lips. “I’m kind of pissed about it.” Really pissed.

Bruce set his hand over his mouth, quiet for a moment. “The effect was that Loki was pissed, and now you’re pissed too?” 

“Yeah, but—” Tony stretched his neck to the side, trying to release tension. “He was _hurt_ by it. He wasn’t just pissed off.” He wouldn’t tell Bruce about how Loki had cried, or how fucking unsettling that was. That was something that would stay private. “I know Loki’s parents can get to him, but Thor—I don’t know. I thought he worked it out with Loki and they were good. But now I—” Tony shook his head. “Wonder if Thor is part of the problem,” he said reluctantly, hating the words as he said them and desperately hoping he was wrong. Thor was a huge ball of sunshine ninety five percent of the time. Tony didn’t want to lump Thor in with his parents. Thor wasn’t like them. 

“From what you’ve said, their parents are hard on both of them,” Bruce said. “I think Thor probably handles it a different way.” The rolling chair squeaked under him as he shifted in his chair. “Having a wedding is stressful for anyone, so it doesn't surprise me that Thor and Loki are having some issues. But Tony, your wedding and getting married is about what you want.” Bruce leaned forward, making sure that Tony was really listening to him. “Let Loki work out what he needs with his family. You don’t have to fix it for him. Just be there for him.” Bruce tilted his head, thinking for a moment. “I think it means a lot to Loki and you do that for him a lot better than you think.” 

Tony brushed that off, shaking his head a little. 

“Tony, you see Loki everyday, so you probably don’t notice, but since you two have started dating, he has become a heck of a lot more relaxed. He’s easier with you,” Bruce said. “And honestly? He didn’t seem like a happy person before.” The way Bruce said it fucking hurt, because Tony knew he was right. Loki hadn’t exactly given off the nice person to be around vibe when they’d met. “But he does now, and he’s really good with you too.” Bruce reached across the table to pat Tony’s shoulder. “So figure out what you guys want, and do that. Don’t worry about what Loki’s parents want. You’re not obligated to do anything.” 

“I know.” 

Bruce turned stern. “I know you know, but remember it.” 

Tony took a deep breath. He sort of got what Bruce was saying. He needed to keep that in mind. They didn’t have to do anything for Loki’s god damn parents. Tony stared at the projector in the middle of the lab. “It just fucking sucks. His whole family—” Tony shook his head. “I really feel for Loki. And Thor,” Tony added. “Though this recent thing with him and Loki, I just.” He’d been hurt that Loki had been hurt, and it was hard to think of Thor without remembering that. Tony took a deep breath. “Yeah, I don’t have to fix it, but I—want to.” 

Bruce looked him dead in the eye. “Tony, even if you want to, I don’t think you _can_.” He folded his arms over his chest. “That family has had issues for years. You can’t fix them, and it’s not your job.” But it was so fucking difficult for him not to do something, to not fix a problem. It was the opposite of how he operated. “I know it’s hard on Thor and Loki both, and you too. We’ve talked about their parents a lot.” 

Tony shook his head. “I just don’t know what to do about it, Brucie. I don’t want them fighting. I don’t want Loki’s parents to pull on his strings and make his life miserable.” 

“But Tony, this whole time, they’ve never really brought down the gauntlet on you.” 

Tony kneaded his fingers down into a knot in his shoulder. “But I feel like they will this time.” He picked a pen off the table.

Bruce scratched at his scalp. “I think they’re more cautious than you think,” Bruce said. “They seem to play their cards carefully.” 

“I don’t know,” Tony said. 

Bruce was trying for eye contact, so Tony had to stop playing with the pen. “Maybe you and Loki both feel like that,” Bruce said. “But I don’t know if it will happen. The Odinsons want to be on your good side for business, and they haven't done anything yet. I’m not saying they’ll be thrilled when you tell them,” Bruce said. “But what can they actually do?” 

Tony tapped the pen against the table. “Make Loki’s life a nightmare. Put pressure on Thor. I—the business side isn’t what I’m worried about. It’s them. Loki wants them to be at the wedding, and I just—” Tony sneered, pressing the pen against the table and creating pressure between his fingers. “I get it, if my parents were alive, I’d want them to be there too. But—” Tony shook his head. “I just feel like they’re going to make Loki miserable that day, and I don’t want that to happen. They could ruin the whole thing.” 

“You think they’d do that to Loki at your wedding?” 

“Yeah,” Tony said, abandoning the pen. He pressed his hands against the side of his head, flattening down his hair. “I don’t know.” He rubbed his hands off on his jeans. 

“Be clear with Loki’s parents about what you expect,” Bruce said. “Don’t give them opportunities to make a scene.” 

“That sounds like something Natasha would say,” Tony said, smiling as he rubbed his eye. 

Bruce shrugged. “I probably picked up thinking like that from her.” She worked in behavioral analysis and god knows what else in a company she didn’t like naming or talking about. “She’d probably have really good advice on what to do, now that I think about it.” Tony nodded, agreeing.

“I’m just worried about him,” Tony said. “It sucks to not have a solution. I don’t want to see him upset.” 

“Because you love him,” Bruce softly explained. Tony sighed, twisting his ring around his finger. “I get that their family is stressful. Don’t be shy about calling me if you need someone to listen.” 

“Aren’t you going to tell me you’re not that kind of doctor and tell me to call my shrink instead?” 

“Aren’t you going to ignore that and call me first anyway like you have for years?” 

Tony grinned at him, relaxing back against his chair. He’d just have to figure this out with Loki one step at a time. At least he had Bruce to help him figure it out, and his other friends, if he wanted. “Have I shown you the new project I’m working on?” 

“No,” Bruce said, lighting up as Tony pulled up designs. They got lost in it until Loki’s knocking at the lab door woke them out of it, offering up dinner. In the moment, putting his worries about Loki’s family aside and spending the evening with his fiancé and best friend, life was pretty close to perfect.


	4. Chapter 4

“Do you think we have enough champagne?” Tony asked, hands on his hips as he frowned at the counter. 

“Yes,” Loki said for the third time that day. “And chips, and napkins, and I’ve even stolen stuff from work in addition to the things I made. Tony, it’ll be _fine_.” Loki glanced up from his phone, watching Tony for a moment. His fiancé’s lips were silently forming the numbers as he counted. Loki leaned his arm over the back of his chair, a line creasing his brow. He had one foot propped up on the chair across from him under the table. “Tony.” 

Tony looked up. 

“It’ll be fine.” 

Tony turned the side of his face towards Loki, withdrawing a bit as he went to open the fridge door. Loki mentally kicked himself. Just saying it was fine wasn’t going to make Tony feel better. His anxiety didn’t work like that. “Hey,” Loki said. “I haven’t checked to make sure there isn’t anything lying around in the living room. Do you want to go look?” 

“Sharon was just here,” Tony said.

Now that Loki shared the house with Tony, he felt weird about having a maid. It reminded him too much of growing up in his parents’ home, but he liked Sharon and truth be told, Tony having her probably spared him a lot of fights with Loki. 

“Yeah, but remember I was in there earlier this morning? I want to finish up this text.” He smiled sweetly at Tony, slipping some charm into it. “Could you do it for me?” 

Without another word, Tony started for the living room.

Loki glanced down at the game on his phone, letting out a sigh of relief. He hoped that people started showing up before he ran out of ideas for things to give Tony to do. 

 

Tony’s friends arrived for the party almost all right on time, except for Clint who came two minutes late but had beer to make up for it. Loki sat on the armrest of the couch, carefully avoiding Thor’s anxious glances in his direction by pretending to be completely enthralled by Bruce’s small talk. Jane had come too though, and Loki did want to thank her for the flowers. Suddenly there was a hand at his elbow. 

Tony was watching him with big eyes. He had to be ready to make the announcement. “Kitchen,” Loki said softly. 

“Why?” Tony started. 

Loki was glad that it was only Bruce in hearing range just then. “To get glasses to have a toast,” Loki answered quickly. 

“Do you need help?” Bruce whispered conspiratorially. Loki nodded his head before carefully corralling Tony towards the kitchen, grabbing his waist and giving him a small push in that direction. Loki only hoped that Thor, or anyone for that matter, didn’t decide to also follow. 

“Won’t they know something’s up when we hand these out?” Tony asked, diligently helping them pop champagne bottles and pour anyway. 

“We could lie and say I wanted everyone to sample for work or some bullshit,” Loki said. “But,” he set a glass down on a serving tray. “You’ll have to tell them we’re making an announcement either way, and wouldn’t you rather them be able to toast?”

“It’s a good way to do it,” Bruce chimed in. “Everyone’ll love it.” 

Tony nodded his head slowly, reassured, and in that tiny motion Loki felt a swell of affectionate protection. 

“Come on,” Bruce said. “Let’s hand these out before anyone comes in here and gets tipped off.” 

At first, Bruce handed one to Sam and Tony gave one to Natasha and the atmosphere of the room was the same. Then, there was a slow, subtle shift. Loki stopped beside Steve, not bothering to hold back a shit eating grin when he handed Steve a glass. “Thank you,” Steve said. Ever the gentleman. So polite. Even as he glanced in Tony’s direction with confusion. Loki tried not to be too smug. He couldn’t wait. Steve’s reaction was the only one he was waiting on, and not for kind reasons. 

By the time Tony walked up next to him, the room had gone silent. “Well,” Tony said. “You probably know that we have an announcement to make,” he laughed nervously, glancing towards Loki. 

“You just gave them free alcohol, you can announce whatever you want,” Loki assured him. There were a few laughs. 

“Right. Uh, well. I was going to make a speech or some shit, but—” A grin broke through his babbling as he caught Loki’s gaze for the second time. “We’re engaged.” 

Somewhere Loki heard Jane tapping a spoon against her champagne glass. Everything was a rush of noise. Clint’s excited voice was particularly easy to discern. But it was Tony that captured Loki’s attention, making him forget to gloat at Steve or take a cursory glance towards Thor. 

Tony was beaming like this was the best day of his life. Loki tried to sear the image into his brain. 

“Cheers!” Sam called, and suddenly they were all clinking glasses together. 

Loki had the sense then to check on Steve, and it was worth it. Steve looked so fucking lost. And, if Loki was right, and in a vindictive corner of his heart he knew that he was, Steve was envious. Loki snuck his arm back around Tony’s waist. 

After all the fucking hell that Steve had put Tony through, he deserved to look lost. Loki hoped that it burned. 

“Do you have rings?” Clint asked. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, drawing the chain up from around his neck.

Loki casually withdrew his ring from beneath his shirt. He smiled, running his hand through his long hair with his free hand and tilting his head towards the side. 

“That’s a great design,” Clint said, admiring Tony’s as he slipped it on his finger. 

“Tony made them,” Loki said. 

“We put them together in the lab,” Tony said.

Loki wasn’t going to let him downplay it. “Tell him how we designed them,” Loki said. 

“Okay,” Tony said, pleased with the prodding. 

Loki jumped in whenever Tony started to stray a little and downplay his genius, giving Tony the full opportunity to nerd out over the technical process. 

Somewhere during the story Loki finished his glass of champagne and accepted another. He was feeling perfectly content when he at last found himself out of the spotlight and sat down on the couch. “Loki,” Thor said, seizing the opportunity to snag the empty cushion beside him. Loki leaned back against the couch, spreading out. He sipped from his glass, not outright rejecting Thor, but not embracing him either. “This is a great party. Tony seems very happy.” 

“He is,” Loki pointedly agreed. 

Tony was battling Clint at the air hockey table they’d dragged up from the basement. 

“I am happy for you,” Thor said. From the corner of his eye, Loki could tell that Thor was sitting awkwardly, holding one knee too tightly. 

“Good.” Loki finished the rest of glass, setting it a bit too strongly against the coffee table. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

Loki licked the crisp tang of champagne off of his lip. He set his elbow against the armrest. “We’ll see,” Loki answered. 

It felt cool for a moment. Then he was regretting it. He needed Thor. And he needed Thor on his side. And he also needed to kick Thor in the shins. 

Loki was imagining that when Thor got up. “I am sorry,” he repeated, evidently not expecting an answer. 

“I know.” 

It wasn’t caustic or accusatory or in any of the rotten ways Thor had probably been expecting him to say it. How he’d been expecting himself to say it. Loki cautiously glanced up to find Thor staring down at him, also uncertain and holding his breath. 

Beneath Loki’s sullenness there was vulnerability, and beneath Thor’s steadfast resignation lurked cautious hope. Then the moment was over.

Thor barely tilted his head in a nod before retreating in Jane’s direction. Loki got up for another glass of champagne. He was halfway through it before he’d even gotten back into the living room with everyone. “Loki!” Tony called. “Come help me cheat.” 

Loki strode over and snatched the puck up between his fingers, then walked it to Clint’s goal. He set his glass down on the edge of the table, smiling innocently at Clint as he held the puck. Then he made his move. “Hey!” Clint squawked. Loki started laughing, grabbing Clint’s wrist to keep him from blocking the goal while Loki chucked the puck in. “Cheating! Cheating! That’s interference!” 

“No, that’s cheating,” Loki corrected him with a smugness that only doubled when Tony affectionately smacked his ass. 

“I win!” Tony stuck his tongue out at Clint as Loki decided that Tony’s side of the table looked really good right about now. Tony didn’t even say anything as Loki came over, just grabbed his waist and pulled him in. “Round two?” 

“With him here? No way!” Clint scowled at them. “You can’t have two people. You can’t pick the puck up off the table. That’s not how this works.” 

“We’ll be good,” Tony promised. Loki giggled, only realizing he was a little tipsy when he heard the sound. Damn. Tony held him tighter. “Come on, Clint.” 

“Do I get a partner too?” 

“If you can rope someone into it,” Tony answered. His hair smelled really fucking good. 

“Natasha!” 

“You’re on your own!” She answered without missing a beat. 

“Fine. I’m kicking both your asses,” Clint promised. 

Loki snatched the puck off the table like a mischievous cat three more times before Clint called it quits. Then Loki got to sit on the couch with Tony, which was pretty great. He was so pretty. 

It was a while before Loki peeled himself away. “I want another,” Loki said. “Do you want one?” He asked Tony. His fiancé shook his head. “Anyone else?” When there were no takers Loki wandered towards the kitchen with dragging feet. 

Jane was already there, putting together a plate for herself from the hors d’oeuvres. “Hey Loki.” 

Loki poured what was left of a champagne bottle in his glass. “Thanks for the flowers.” 

Jane turned bright red. “I—we—it was nothing.” Loki smiled at her, wondering why she felt the need to blush at all. She had to know that he knew her husband well enough to see through it.

“Thank you,” he reiterated. He leaned over the counter, setting his elbows against it. Definitely not getting some balance from it. “I really appreciated it, Jane.” From the bottom of his heart, he did. He’d never understand how Thor ended up with someone so considerate and thoughtful. 

Jane poked at a garlic knot on her plate, staring at Loki and giving him the impression that she was slightly unsure of herself. He leaned off the counter, keeping his hands propped flat against it. “So,” Jane said. “You’re still mad at Thor, huh?” There was a surprising lack of judgment there.

“Yeah,” Loki said honestly. “We all know my parents won’t be approving of this, and I think he’ll take their side.” He held his hand to his mouth, fighting off a gurgle in his stomach. He hadn’t meant for that to come out.

“I don’t think so,” Jane said quietly. 

“We’ll see,” Loki said, picking up his glass. Jane opened her mouth as though about to say something, but then seemed to think better of it. “There’s some of the mocha cupcakes that you like in the fridge. Help yourself.” Loki grinned at her pleasant surprise before sauntering back out into the living room. 

He sunk back down onto the couch beside Tony. Sam was telling a story about a paragliding trip somewhere. Tony’s hand settled on his thigh. Loki took a sip, feeling sleepy. It wasn’t that much later that the party broke up and everyone went home, congratulating them again. When the last guest had left, Loki lingered at the front door, enjoying the cool night air against his face. 

“How much did you drink?” Tony asked. 

Loki turned his head slowly, eyes a bit wide. Tony laughed. “I’m slightly tipsy,” Loki assured him. 

Tony’s hand snuck around his waist, pulling him away from the front door. “That’s alright. I like drunk Loki,” Tony told him. He pushed the front door shut. 

“I’m not drunk.” The smile hadn’t left Tony’s face, so Loki glared at him. That didn’t do anything, so he stuck his tongue out too. 

“Did you know your cheeks are bright red right now?” Tony asked. Loki scowled at him, turning away. “Hey,” Tony said, easily curling his arms around Loki's stomach and pulling Loki’s back flat against his chest. “It’s okay.” 

Loki squirmed before slumping, and then Tony had a little trouble holding his height up. “Why don’t we get you to bed?” Tony asked. 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

Loki’s eyes fell half shut as he considered. “Tony,” he complained. “I’m fine. I cooked one time way worse than this because we stayed out all night and the shift started and we just all went back to work.” There was a pained sigh behind him. 

“And I’m sure everything you made that day was par excellence.” 

“No.” And that was really fucking funny, wasn’t it? He’d baked a spoon inside of a cake. He was giggling when Tony gave him a push forward. 

“Uh-huh. Bedtime for you,” Tony insisted. Loki took a couple of wandering steps in the direction of the stairs. “Come on. I hope you didn’t get more than I thought, because I do not want to be cleaning up vomit tonight.” 

“I didn’t,” Loki said seriously. “I just had a few.” He looked back over his shoulder as Tony’s hand set on the banister behind him. “I don’t have the tolerance I used to,” he admitted. 

Tony seemed to believe him, because the way he looked at Loki was comforting. For a moment. Then he was teasing Loki. “Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you’ve become a bit of a light weight.” 

“No I haven’t.” Loki took a couple of steps up the stairs, then really set his mind to it to prove to Tony that he was fine. 

When they got to the bed, Loki kicked off his jeans before sliding his way in. Then he decided he didn’t like his shirt. That went too. He looked up from where he’d tangled himself in the sheets to find Tony staring at him too intently. Loki leered. “Tony,” he purred. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Tony answered. 

Loki pushed out his bottom lip. 

“Y’know, sometimes I think if I told people that your bad ass can get like this, I don’t think they’d believe me.” Tony let out a sigh, shaking his head. He sat down on the bed, then just sort of softly smiled at Loki. “Tonight was better than I’d hoped for.” 

Loki stretched his arms over his head, twisting in the sheets so that he was on his stomach. “I enjoyed it.” 

“I know you did,” Tony said. 

“I like Clint,” Loki said. “I think he was my favorite tonight.” Tony laughed. 

“I’m sure Clint’s not going to let that game go—” Suddenly Loki decided he didn’t want to be by himself anymore. He sat up, wrapping his arms around Tony’s neck and slumping against his chest. “—are you becoming snuggly drunk Loki now?” 

“Yes.” 

“You know, I haven’t cleaned up shit downstairs and in the morning you are going to be back to your usual self and chew me out over it.” 

“Or I’ll be too hungover to care.” 

Tony exaggerated a shudder. “Then you’ll be hungover _and_ mad about your kitchen.” Loki hadn’t realized that Tony was holding him too until Tony squeezed. Loki let his head lull on Tony’s shoulder. “I am going to enjoy this for a couple minutes though.” 

“What,” Loki mumbled. 

“You being cuddly,” Tony said. Loki let out an unhappy sound at the cuteness of it. 

“Did everything go okay tonight with you and Thor?” Tony asked. 

“I’m still mad at him,” Loki told him. He stretched against Tony, making himself more comfortable on his fiancé’s chest. “You smell good.” 

“I’m wearing cologne.” 

Loki hummed. 

For a little bit they just sat there as Tony made good on his promise. 

Tony pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “I’m going to go downstairs for a couple of minutes and grab you a water while I’m down there.” Loki mumbled something about Tony being a fucker as he pulled away, leaving Loki cold and alone. Loki crawled down under the sheets. 

It was a while before Tony came back upstairs, but Loki was only halfway asleep when he heard Tony enter and shuffle into his pajamas. The moment he hit the bed Loki rolled over, burying his cold toes against Tony and digging his fingers into Tony’s shirt. “Hey, remember what we said. No sticking your cold feet on me.” 

“Wherever—I damn—well want,” Loki mumbled. Tony sighed, but his weight relaxed. A while later Loki woke up just long enough to realize that Tony was facing him now, one arm wrapped over his shoulders. Content, he drifted right back off. 

 

The next day, he barely had what qualified for a hangover, but the bright sun wasn’t doing him any favors. Loki wandered out to the pool and stooped down. Tony was working on rigging up something in the empty pool. “Hey, Tony?” 

The sun reflected off the lenses of Tony’s sunglasses, making it impossible to see his eyes. Tony’s hands didn’t stop fussing with the light he was crouched over even though his attention was on Loki. 

Loki took in a slow breath, steadying himself. He’d made up his mind when he’d been cleaning up after their breakfast. “I’m going to tell my parents in a couple of weeks. After we sign those papers. I don’t want—to keep dragging it out.” 

Tony wiped the back of his hand over the sweat on his forehead, then pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket. “I mean, I’m fine with that, Lo.” Tony stood up, stretching his back. “How do you want to do it? Are we going to take them out for lunch, or do you want to have them over here, or how do you want to do it? Just let me know so I can clear my schedule.” 

Loki sat down on his knees at the edge of the pool, leaning over the rim to talk to Tony. “Actually,” Loki said slowly, voice quieter. Tony took a few steps closer. “I was thinking that I would tell them alone. They may be a bit calmer if I—”

“No.” Tony tilted his head downward as he stared up, and suddenly Loki could see past the lenses. Tony was livid. “Nope. No. No way in hell am I letting you do that.” 

Loki’s hands curled around the edge of the pool, fingers pressing in against the tiles. “But—”

“But nothing, Loki! We are getting married, and I am not leaving you alone with your parents to chew you up like a pack of wolves—”

“They’re not a pack of wolves!” Loki shouted instantly, recoiling a moment later. He looked to the side, pressing his lips together and biting down on them. 

“Then why are we tiptoeing around them?” Tony asked. 

Loki rubbed his temple, regretting that he’d chosen to do this out at the pool. He should’ve fucking waited until Tony was done working, even though that probably would’ve stretched through the entire day and most of the evening, and even though he probably would’ve lost his nerve to bring it up by then. “I—” Loki squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before glancing down at Tony, his chest splitting and aching at the thought. “Tony, I don’t want you to have to sit through the things that my dad might say.” 

Like Jane had. It’d occurred to him that he’d been complaining to Jane about how his parents would act when he knew they put her through the fucking wringer when she married Thor. Hell, when she dated Thor. He wished he hadn’t said anything to her about it last night. 

“I’m a public figure. There’s not much I haven’t heard said about me before,” Tony said. “I’m not going to break because your dad says one mean thing, Loki.” 

A cool wind blew past, rattling one of Tony’s metal tools against the concrete. “You shouldn’t have to hear it.” 

“I also shouldn’t have to sit at home while I know your parents are bitching you out, Loki.” 

He had a point. “Why do you have to be so difficult?” Loki asked, exasperated. 

“Right back at you,” Tony said, amusement hiding beneath his obvious agitation. 

They were quiet for a moment, Loki sitting slumped against the pool edge while Tony rested his hand on his tool belt, hips tilted to the side. The wind knocked over one of the empty pipes Tony had brought down into the pool. 

“I’m coming,” Tony said. 

Loki knew then that there was no getting out of it. Not without devastating Tony and starting a fight that would leave permanent damage. “Fine,” Loki relented. He pulled his shirt back down over his stomach as the breeze caught it. “I was thinking of telling them at their house because I want to leave when I want to, and if they’re here it’d be hard to kick them out, and at a restaurant I don’t want to fuck around with the check and all of that shit.” 

“Alright,” Tony said, voice warm and receptive now. He was still tensely strung, but Loki knew it was because of what they were talking about more than anything. 

“And I want us to sign that power of attorney thing beforehand—” Loki started, deliberating over how to word his explanation. 

“Because you’d feel more secure,” Tony filled in for him. “I would too. So how about we plan on doing it in two weeks?” 

Tony sounded surprisingly put together. Loki could only nod his head, wondering how Tony could be so pragmatic about it. Loki swung his calves out over the ledge of the pool, letting his feet drop and hang down over the edge. He kneaded the fingers of his opposite hand with his thumb and pointer finger. “I don’t think Mother will be horribly surprised,” Loki admitted. “Not if she’s—asked what our longterm plans are. I think she’s wondered.” 

“That shouldn’t make much of a difference,” Tony said. Loki stared down at his palms. Maybe he’d been trying to read too much into it, but he wanted to know what his parents were thinking before he saw them. “Loki, we have time to think. We can work out a plan on what we’ll say before we see them. We can have expectations, alright? We can set rules with them.” 

The incredulity that washed over Loki’s face didn’t rattle Tony. Tony was insane. “We can,” Tony said. “And,” he added quickly, before Loki could argue, “if we want to sit down with our therapist and work it out before we go, or plan on a couple of sessions afterwards, whatever it takes. We can figure this out, Loki.” 

Clearly Tony had put some thought into this. And for a moment, Loki was grateful. It lifted a weight off his shoulders to have Tony help think about this. He hadn’t consciously realized that he didn’t have to do this by himself until now. 

Then curiosity struck. “Have you told him we’re engaged?” 

Tony smiled sheepishly. “Yeah,” he confessed. He scratched the back of his head. “I tell him everything, and this was kind of a huge deal—”

“What’d he say?” 

“He’s happy.” Tony nodded his head, and Loki surprised himself at the relief he felt hearing that. “He congratulated me. Us,” Tony corrected himself. “Said it’s a big step and we’ve done the work and he thinks we’ll be fine. And it’s not his professional opinion and whatever but that he thinks we’re a hell of a lot better off than a lot of the couples that he’s seen. Said it’s the ones that never fight and say they’re great that worry him.” 

Loki found himself smiling. He pushed his hair back from his face. 

“So,” Tony said. “About that. Do you want to do that, or do you want to just see how it goes, because I think at the very least we should have an idea of what we’re going to tell them and what we expect from them.” 

Right. It was more than a little overwhelming to think of laying down fucking ground rules for his parents. “A session,” Loki said quickly. “Or two.” It was the smartest, safest route to take, and he didn’t want to give himself time to think or reason his way out of one. He needed to meet Tony halfway here. Tony was putting forth a lot of fucking effort, and he knew the way his parents were, knew the way this way going to go anyway, the least he could fucking do was try and soften the blow a little for Tony. 

He missed something, because Tony tapped his foot to get him to pay attention. “Loki?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I need you to promise me something.” 

Loki went very still. Tony had never asked him for a promise before, not like this. 

“Promise me you’ll be honest with me about whatever your parents say about this.” The way he said it, like a plea, was a swift stab in the chest. 

Loki stared down at him over the ledge of the pool, face completely still and controlled. He wasn’t sure he _could_ promise that. What use would it be to expose Tony to the shit his father said? 

“I need you to do that, Loki.” 

Fuck, how could he say no to that firm voice? 

“I—” Loki started weighing the pros and cons, tried to think ahead fifteen steps and know the outcomes. 

“You can’t keep secrets on this because you’re trying to shelter me,” Tony warned him. “We’re doing this together. And I _know_ how your parents get to you, Loki. I’m not going to fucking take it.” 

The response to that was easy. Loki didn’t even have to think about it. “But what if they do something to _you_? Would you tell me?” 

“Yes.” Tony stood taller, tilting up his chin. 

Loki knew that expression. Tony meant it.

Tony spoke. “If I promise you I’ll tell you the moment they try pulling something with me, will you promise me that you’ll be open with me and tell me when they pull shit with you? What they say?” Loki kneaded his hands together with more force, but it was obvious that he was succumbing. “Right away,” Tony added. “Not two weeks later when I weasel it out of you?” 

“Okay,” Loki said, eyes flicking upwards. “Fine.” There was a pang in his heart as he said, “I promise that I’ll tell you.” He knew he looked pissed about it, but Tony wasn’t put off. 

“I talked to Natasha about it,” Tony said. Already? The man was fucking fast. “And she made the point that the easiest way your parents would split us up would be to pit us against each other. So we need to be united on this. We can’t keep secrets.” 

“Was that all she said?” 

“She also kicked around the idea that they might try and work it to their advantage, for the business angle. But I don’t know, Loki.” Tony shrugged his lips to the side in that uncomfortable grimace he always got when he doubted something. “I don’t think your mom will give up her youngest that easily.” 

“I hate this,” Loki said suddenly. He didn’t even know where it was coming from, just that it was immediate and visceral. “I _hate_ this.” Tony flinched. “Why does this have to be so fucking difficult? Why can’t we just—” A familiar sting pricked at Loki’s eyes and it took all of his fury to shove it back down. “I hate this. I just want to be normal.” 

He pushed the heel of his hand against his cheek. “I just want us to be able to fucking do what we want without—all of this,” he said, pulling in a breath.

A hand curled around Loki’s foot. “We’ll get through it, Lo,” Tony assured him. “You know, them not approving is the only downside to this whole thing. We’re getting married,” Tony said. “Let’s focus on that.” 

Tony was right. Not that his parents weren't a huge fucking deal, but Tony had a point. Loki’s eyes fell shut as he let out a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” 

Loki bit down on the inside of his cheek, twisting his ring around his finger. “How’s your hangover?” Tony asked. 

“I don’t have much of one,” Loki admitted. “I’m tired, that’s about it.” 

“I could use an extra pair of hands down here,” Tony said. “But if you’re busy then I can do it.” 

“No, it’s alright. I can help.” 

It wasn’t until much later, when Tony was explaining how he was enhancing the pool heater, that Loki realized Tony had successfully distracted him. Instead of feeling duped, a quiet wave of affection settled in. Tony was a genius, wasn’t he? Loki wasn’t alone in this. Tony was going to help him. They’d deal with the shit about his parents, and then they’d move on. He was going to let Tony have whatever honeymoon he wanted, anywhere he wanted. He was going to have a hyphenated last name because they both had hangups about their families, but it was going to be the first last name that Loki felt like he really belonged to. They’d both agreed that they wanted each other for keeps, and that in itself was pretty incredible. Tony was right, there was a hell of a lot of good in it. 

If Tony thought Loki suddenly grabbing him and sucking down his neck was odd, he didn’t question it.


	5. Chapter 5

It didn’t surprise Tony that Loki was eager to get his tattoo now that they’d set a date to tell his parents, but Tony at least expected some warning. “Tony,” Loki said, walking too fast as he hurried into the lab without his usual knocking. He was holding his phone with clenched fingers and bright eyes. Tony assumed something was wrong. 

“What happened?” 

“I called to get in for my tattoo and he has an opening today,” Loki said. “In an hour. And then he’s booked for a solid month.” The grip on his phone tightened as he stared adamantly at Tony, seemingly waiting for him to move. Tony was still trying to process that something _hadn’t_ happened. “We need to get in the car. Now.” 

Tony started to get up from his computer chair. “Lo, I’ve got grease on me and—”

“Then take a five minute shower,” Loki said, setting his hand on the small of Tony’s back and pushing forward. Tony took two steps. 

“Do I like, need to to sprint like I’m setting a world record, or is ‘crossing a parking lot while a car is waiting for me’ speed okay?” Tony teased. 

Loki’s eyes widened like Tony was being utterly ridiculous, ready to challenge him. “Go,” he said as Tony started to laugh. 

Tony started to move, but if Loki were a car waiting for him to cross, Tony would’ve been hit. Loki’s hand became more urgent. “We have an hour,” Tony said. 

“It’s a forty five minute drive and you always take forever in the shower!” Loki grabbed both of his shoulders from behind, steering Tony towards the door and forcing him to pick up his pace if he didn’t want to get trampled. “I thought you wanted to come.” 

“I do, I just expected some warning—”

“—this is a warning—”

“—it’s not a warning if I have to drop everything—”

“—you were playing Galaga—”

Tony jogged out of Loki’s grasp before Loki could shove him through the lab door. “I’ll be down in just a few,” Tony said, feeling giddy as he started for the stairs. He’d been looking forward to the tattoo since Loki had brought it up. 

Unlike his usual, Tony was out of the shower in three minutes and fifteen seconds. He dressed like he’d just found out that his one night stand had an angry significant other. Loki was waiting for him in the kitchen with his jacket on. “I’m driving,” Tony said. 

“Why—” Loki started. 

“I want to,” Tony said. “We’re taking the Tesla with the windows down.” Loki let out a sigh, shaking his head. “What?” 

“And the stereo way up,” Loki said, starting for the garage door. “You remind me of me in high school.” 

“Hey. I’ve heard your emo shit turned way up at night. When we first started dating, I could tell it was your car before you even hit the block,” Tony said as they walked out into the garage. 

“You can’t hear shit from inside the house,” Loki said, stopping beside the Tesla’s passenger door. 

“Ok. I could at Bruce’s,” Tony said. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “How often did we hang out at Bruce’s?” 

“Sam’s then,” Tony decided, getting into the car. He didn’t crank the radio up when they got in, but that was only because he had to ask Loki for the address. Then they were speeding away from the house, windows down and stereo up, Loki smirking to himself as he pushed his seat back. 

When they were three fourths of the way there, Loki reached over. Tony thought he was going to change the song, but he turned the volume down. “There was something I wanted to ask you.” 

Tony eagerly hoped that it was about the tattoo design. “Okay.” 

“I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, but I like what we figured out when you helped start up my business, and I thought something like that for us about getting married wouldn’t be a bad idea. I wanted to offer signing a prenup.” Loki rubbed his nose. “If you don’t want to I understand too, but I figured…” 

Tony couldn’t even begin to describe the relief he felt. He’d wanted to ask Loki, he really had. But he didn’t think he could approach it without bringing up all their issues, and it had just felt like too much to worry about at the moment. He’d let it go. He trusted Loki, but it’d still make him feel secure to know that piece of paper existed. “Yeah, no. I—get it. We can just agree that our businesses would stay our own, and I’d give you the value of half of the house or something—”

“—you don’t have to do that,” Loki interrupted. 

“But where would you stay, Lo?” 

“I’d find something,” Loki said, half amused, but entirely confident. Tony realized that something had changed in Loki, however small. 

And it made sense. Of course he’d find something. “Alright. So, just keeping what we started out with, then?” 

“Yeah,” Loki agreed. “And on things we buy together—we can mark those as things to bitch about if the time came, I guess.” 

“We’d need something to fight over,” Tony said. “Wouldn’t want to make it too easy.” 

“Exactly.” 

When Tony glanced over he found that Loki was grinning at him. “Thanks, Lo. I know—” He didn’t really want to go there. “I mean, I think it’d help us—both—feel secure about it.” 

“I know,” Loki said simply. 

Tony drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, not sure what to do with himself. It was such a god damn good day, he didn’t know what to do with all of his extra energy. “And now we’re going to listen to my _emo shit_ ,” Loki said, rapidly tapping through the satellite radio stations. 

“I knew I was going to pay for that comment,” Tony said. 

 

The tattoo parlor was a lot nicer than Tony had been expecting. 

Of course, he wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but maybe something with a live snake hanging from the rafters and someone getting high in the back. He didn’t know. Definitely not nice leather furniture and a fastidiously clean room. The style was still punk rock, he’d give it that, but he didn’t feel intimidated. 

“This is him, huh?” A man with a beard who was even taller than Loki was standing beside him, arms crossed, giving Tony a once over. He had his hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and his brown eyes were framed by thick black glasses. 

“Tony, this is Bodolf,” Loki said. “We graduated from culinary school together.” 

“And you both wound up back here in the states?” Tony went to adjust his tie and realized he was wearing one of his weekend t-shirts. “Small world.” 

“We’re going to be over here,” Bodolf said, directing them towards a chair towards the left. He grabbed an especially plush chair for Tony. Tony wasn’t sure how to interpret that. 

Tony didn’t have much to do but watch as Loki went over the tattoo in precise, exacting detail. It was a simple but elegant set of black lines that abstractly formed a band along the top of his finger. Bodolf didn’t seem phased by Loki’s demands. He complied quickly, sketching and redesigning until Loki’s face lit up when he’d hit the mark. 

Tony held his breath as he watched the stencil peel back from Loki’s skin, trying to picture what it would feel like to see that design on Loki’s hand every day. 

They were quiet for a moment as Bodolf carefully began the first line. Loki’s face went a shade paler. Tony remembered he’d said it would be painful. “So, uh, what was Loki like in school?” 

Bodolf and Loki exchanged a look. “He was something else,” Bodolf decided. Loki’s expression became indignant, obviously not expecting that answer. “He was not someone you nicked knives from, let’s put it that way.” Loki rolled his eyes. “He was a smart ass too. We called him Silvertongue sometimes because he could talk his way in or out of anything.” Bodolf grinned. “And he could chew people out like you wouldn’t believe. You should’ve seen the insults he could get over on our classmates.” 

“It was nothing that they didn’t deserve,” Loki said. 

Bodolf didn’t seem to disagree. He worked in silence for another moment before taking a long, calculating look at Tony. It was difficult to judge what he was thinking. “Did he tell you about how he got his first tattoo?” 

Tony turned to Loki, smiling as though scandalized. “Not the whole story,” Tony said, raising his eyebrows at Loki who lowered his eyelids into an unamused, deadpan stare. 

Bodolf just chuckled, not looking up from his work. “We skipped Friday classes and took a weekend trip to Amsterdam, a group of us. Got piss drunk and what does this bastard right here do? Demands we go to a tattoo shop. Says he’s getting inked right then and there.” 

“I’d been planning it for a while,” Loki defended himself. 

“You got it drunk?” Tony asked, honestly scandalized now. It’d always seemed like a decision that Loki had planned meticulously, not spur of the moment on a drunken misadventure. 

Bodolf shook his head. “No one’s going to do you drunk unless they need the cash.” He glanced at Tony again, and Tony could tell he was thinking about him, but he wasn’t sure what again. “Loki dragged us back the next day, hungover and exhausted. Talked the guy into it that time.” 

“I was perfectly sober by then,” Loki said. 

“Bit of shit work though,” Bodolf said. “I’m glad you let me touch it up.” Loki grimaced, probably at the memory of the older tattoo. 

“The one on your arm, right? What did it look like before?” Tony asked. 

“The same,” Loki said. He looked at Tony, expression a bit softer, as if he was worrying over something. 

“It’s just that the line work was shit,” Bodolf said. 

“You improved the definition,” Loki said. “You probably wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference in a photo,” Loki explained to Tony. He got the impression that Loki didn’t want him to think it had looked bad. 

Bodolf clearly disagreed. “Let me see how it’s done,” he said. Loki tilted his forearm, moving it closer so that he could examine it. “Fuck, it’s aging well. It wouldn’t look like that if you’d left it the way the first guy did it.” 

“You make it sound like I let some amateur touch my arm.” A haughty sneer flashed across Loki’s face. “He was one of the best artists in Amsterdam. It’s a name people would recognize.” 

There was the planning Loki that Tony was used to. Loki had probably researched the whole thing beforehand then. Maybe he’d just gotten drunk working up his courage to go do it.

“He just wasn't as good as me.” 

Loki let out a soft breath of a laugh, but there was some derision in it. Bodolf glanced at Tony. “So what do you have done?” 

“Me?” Tony looked to Loki for support, but he was only watching Tony. “You mean a tattoo?” Bodolf didn’t seem to think he could’ve asked about anything else. “I don’t have one.” 

Bodolf considered that for a moment. “What do you work in?” He is eyes ran up and down, assessing Tony again. “A brewery?” He tried, not seeming to have faith in that answer. “Some sort of special forces thing…?” 

“He runs a tech company,” Loki answered for him. 

“A nerd?” He whipped his head toward Loki, clearly thinking he was a liar. 

Loki only relaxed against the chair, his amusement almost arrogant. “Look out the window,” he told Bodolf knowingly, tipping his chin. “The red one’s his.” 

Bodolf scanned the window, and Tony could spot the exact moment Bodolf identified Tony’s car. Bodolf nodded his head like something suddenly made sense. They were quiet for a moment as Tony tried to debate what that meant about his car. “So how many wrecks have you been in?” 

Tony stared. 

“Racing,” Bodolf clarified. 

“He doesn’t drag race,” Loki said. 

“Yeah right,” Bodolf said. 

“I don’t—”

“I’m not a cop,” Bodolf told him. “I just hope you don’t let him drive that thing,” Bodolf advised Tony. “You might not get it back with all the rubber on the tires.” 

It was weird to realize that Bodolf didn’t already know who Tony was, and even weirder to hear his assumptions. Tony also wanted to laugh when he thought of Loki drag racing, knowing the car Loki actually drove. He wasn’t sure why Bodolf had that impression of Loki, but he knew better than to say anything. He didn’t want to blow Loki’s image if that’s what it was. 

“You said you were still cooking?” Bodolf asked Loki. 

Loki nodded. “I run my own company now. We market our food to retailers.” He combed his fingers back through his hair. “I got out of the kitchens.” 

“I always knew you’d be happier as captain of your own ship,” Bodolf told Loki. “You weren’t meant to work for somebody else.” He lifted the tattoo gun for a moment. “You were too good for that.” 

There was a flicker of happy pride in Loki that Tony only caught because he knew Loki so well. Loki was doing his best to stay cool about the whole thing, but Tony kept picking up on little tells that he was in pain. It made Tony uneasy. “I sleep more than three hours this way,” Loki played it off. 

Bodolf smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s nice to show up here and remember what day of the week it is. I actually have a weekend that’s mine.” 

They fell silent. “You’re going to have to think about getting your fingers touched up,” Bodolf said. 

Loki glanced down at them, thinking about it. 

“They’re fine this way,” Loki said, calm and certain. 

For another minute they sat there as Bodolf worked. Tony was slightly mesmerized by the whole thing, even if he wouldn’t admit it. He couldn’t believe Loki was getting this done. They were actually here. It was happening. 

Bodolf sat back. “You’re done,” he said. 

Loki held up his hand and Tony leaned in, trying to see too. The contentment radiating off of Loki was intoxicating. Loki held it out so that Tony could see, his green eyes bright. 

The new lines on his ring finger were striking and lush, surrounded by soft pink skin angered by the addition. The black lines were bold against the faded designs that scattered down the rest of his fingers. “Perfect,” Loki said. 

“Damn right it is,” Bodolf answered. Loki laughed. 

Tony’s gaze caught on the design and stayed there, warmth flooding his chest. 

It took a while for them to finish up and leave the shop, and the whole time all Tony could think about was how much he wanted Loki just then. How fucking perfect Loki was. Tony couldn’t contain it. Loki didn’t seem to share any of the urgency, or pick up on it from Tony. As they walked out to the parking lot, Loki faintly hummed to himself as he stared down at the bandaged finger he was carefully trying not to move. He stopped at his car door, admiring it while he waited for Tony to unlock his door. “Do you want to go out and get something to eat?” He asked Tony over the roof of the car. 

No, he wanted to get home and fuck like rabbits. 

“There’s a place near here that I haven’t been to in ages because hate driving out here,” Loki said. “The food’s good.” 

“Uh, sure,” Tony said, because it would make Loki happy. 

As Tony got in, another thought occurred. “Why’d you tell him to look outside at the car?” 

Loki put on a pair of vintage styled sunglasses. “He was trying to figure out how we fit together,” Loki said. 

“And you pointed to my car because?” Tony didn’t want to admit that the thought that it was expensive was all that he could come up with. 

“It’s badass,” Loki explained simply. “In a nerdy way,” he amended. “And it’s not like I wasn’t considered a smart, poor little rich boy once they figured out who my family was and where I dropped out of, so it matches up.” 

“Oh.” Tony sat there for a moment, wishing he wasn’t turned on. “Did you drag race back at school?” 

Loki shook his head. “No,” he said. “But it doesn’t hurt to let him think that I would.” 

Tony considered it a while longer. “Really?” He asked. Maybe there was a side to Loki he didn’t know. Maybe Loki drag raced. Tony could see it if he ignored what he already knew about the car Loki drove now. 

Loki’s sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose a fraction. “Tony, none of us had cars. We hopped the local transit and were too pissed to be operating anything, let alone drag racing while we were in school. I’m lucky my liver still functions.” 

“You must’ve been scary when you were in school,” Tony said absentmindedly, because he wasn’t sure what else to say. 

Loki answered with the first unhappiness that Tony had seen all day. “Probably.” He brushed a lock of hair back behind his ear. “I’m glad he was able to get me in.” 

“Me too,” Tony said warmly. He was staring at Loki lustfully again, holding his gaze too long to be casual. 

“Are you going to put the car in drive?” Loki asked, amused. 

“Oh. Right,” Tony said. The engine roared to life. 

“You’re not really interested in lunch, are you?” Loki guessed. 

“Honestly, I’d rather be getting handsy in the back seat,” Tony answered. To his surprise, Loki started to laugh. 

“Why? Does the smell of bleach and green soap do something for you?” 

“You just got a tattoo of your wedding ring.” 

“Oh,” Loki said, twisting in his seat so that he was leaning in. “Tony.” It was just sinful the way his lips slotted in with Tony’s, tongue teasing and playful. Tony was a little dazed when Loki pulled away. “You just wait until it heals.” Tony blinked, stunned. Loki sat back in his seat. “I am hungry,” he said. 

After that, Loki was just going to follow it up with a simple _I’m hungry_? 

“The engine’s running,” Loki reminded him, as if he’d read Tony’s mind. With a pained sigh, Tony put it in reverse to back out. “We can mess around at home,” Loki consoled him. 

“I know,” Tony said, already imagining how nit picky Loki was going to be about keeping the tattoo perfect anyway. He’d already told Tony he’d be on dishwashing and cooking duty if he wanted anything homemade the next week when Tony had brought up the tattoo. There were going to be no sets of hands raking through his hair and clawing down his back. And now that he thought about it, the tattoo probably hurt. A bit guiltily he asked, “Is it painful?” 

“It’s sore,” Loki said. “But I think I’ll be alright,” he said fondly. Tony pulled out onto the street. “Stay on this road,” Loki said. “I’ll tell you when to turn.” 

It was pretty fucking humbling to think that Loki had put himself through pain on his behalf. Tony knew it was for Loki’s sake too, but damn. “I really love it, Lo.” 

“What?” Loki asked distantly, staring out the window and probably daydreaming. 

“Your tattoo,” Tony said. “It looks good.” 

There was a low chuckle from Loki, although Tony couldn’t figure out why. “Thank you.” 

“This place better have cheeseburgers,” Tony said. 

“I think you’ll like it,” Loki promised. He let his head fall back against the seat, and Tony wasn’t sure what he was thinking beyond those sunglasses. Whatever it was, that tiny smirk that Tony loved was on the corner of his lips. 

Content to let that be a mystery, Tony reached for the stereo.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be them telling Loki's parents.


	6. Chapter 6

When Loki got into the driver seat of Tony’s car, his heart was already pounding. He took a long, slow breath as Tony slid in across the leather seat beside him. 

_If you would like them to be at the wedding, be clear about what your expectations for the wedding and their behavior are,_ he recalled their therapist saying. Tony’s seatbelt buckled shut. _You cannot control and are not responsible for their behavior._ Tony’s hand set on his thigh. Loki’s eyes flickered up to find Tony watching him wearily, uncertainty lurking beneath the comfort he was attempting to give. 

“Make sure you hold the cake flat so the icing doesn’t hit the sides,” Loki said. Tony’s hands settled on the plastic lid. Loki backed out of the garage. 

They’d rehearsed this. They’d be fine. 

Loki glanced at the tattoo on his ring finger as he turned the steering wheel. It wasn’t healed yet, but it was looking a lot better. He doubted that his parents would notice it among the others, but he didn’t care. It was there. It wasn’t going anywhere. They couldn’t do anything about it. 

Tony turned up the air conditioning. 

Loki knew that Tony couldn’t feel well. He’d taken his meds preemptively, and they always made him tired and groggy. Loki hadn’t had the heart to argue with him when Tony said he’d feel more comfortable in one of his own cars. He’d just accepted the keys from Tony’s hand. 

Loki glanced towards Tony out of the corner of his eye, trying to be subtle about it. Tony had his elbow propped up against the door, his chin in his hand. The other arm was wrapped protectively around the cake box. Tony stared out the window like they were on the way to a funeral. 

Loki pulled a breath down into his chest. 

He hated how he was the reason that Tony was like this. 

But maybe his mother would understand. He’d been dating Tony long enough now that she had to understand, right? Surely she could see what everyone else seemed to? If she could see, then his father would see, and then it might all work out. 

Or not. 

Loki’s stomach churned. Tony leaned off the window, clutching the cake box with his arms and slumping back in his seat. Loki kept catching whiffs of the expensive cologne Tony was wearing. He had a nice suit on too, which looked slightly out of place beside Loki’s worn out jeans and collared dress shirt. Tony rubbed his eye. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki said, gripping the steering wheel tighter. 

He wasn’t well acquainted with this car and the gas pedal wasn’t nearly as insensitive as his own. He accelerated more than he meant to. Adjusting his foot he said, “I shouldn’t—be dragging you into—”

“Stop,” Tony interrupted. The word was flat and heavy. “We talked about this, Lo.” 

They had, Tony had assured him that he didn’t hold this against Loki, but it didn’t stop the guilt from eating away at Loki. It didn’t really matter what Tony said. He felt awful about it. He wanted to protect Tony, not fling him into the fire. 

“We’ll just try our best and see what happens,” Tony said. Loki only nodded his head in response. 

They sunk into tense, unhappy silence. 

 

When Loki came within sight of his parents’ home, the driveway and front porch were lit up. It was charming, if you didn’t know what was inside. Loki’s stomach seized into a tight knot. 

They got out of the car, naturally gravitating together on the path leading up to the house. Loki was grateful that Tony was standing so close. He held his breath as they reached the doorbell. 

They could hear it chime through the house, echoing down long hallways. Loki glanced over. Tony smiled at him. Loki returned it, pushing his shoulders back as he faced the door. After a moment they heard clicking heels. 

“Loki!” His mother exclaimed, pulling the door wide open. She reached out for a hug, and Loki didn’t know what to do with the sudden enthusiasm. He just fell into her warm grasp, daring to hope as he returned the hug before pulling away. She smelled like floral perfume and vanilla. He smiled, one hand reaching to the small of Tony’s back. 

“Mum,” he said. 

“Hello Tony!” She reached forward to accept the cake from his hands. “That looks heavy, did you help Loki make it? He said that you help in the kitchen.” 

“He did,” Loki quickly lied. It would please his mother to hear that. Tony froze for a moment before awkwardly smiling and going along with it. “It’s chocolate,” Loki said, stepping inside with Tony in tow. 

“I’m sure it will be wonderful,” she said. “I do wish you would’ve allowed me to talk you into staying for dinner as well. I hardly get to see you as it is.” 

“Our schedules were tight,” Loki lied again. “But I’m glad we were able to come see you for dessert.” 

“I have tea made,” she said. “Your father’s waiting in the dining room. Have I shown you the new teapot I got? It’s been a while since you’ve been out. I don’t think you’ve seen it.” 

“I don’t think I have,” Loki answered. 

“Tony, do you drink tea?” 

“Sometimes,” Tony said. He left out that when he did it was because Loki put it in front of him with extra honey and heavy handed insinuations that he’d spent too much time in the lab and needed to go to bed. Or he was crabby about something at work and Loki thought he should be going to bed anyway. 

“It’s a sweet herbal blend with orange in it,” she said. “I think you’ll like it.” As she passed through the doorframe to the dining room, there was just enough time for Loki to catch the subtle displeasure in the look Tony threw him. He didn’t have time to react. 

All of his attention was drawn towards his father. 

Odin glanced up as they entered, one hand curled around his whiskey tumbler. The lackluster recognition of their presence was all they got before Loki’s mother said, as chipper as ever, “Go ahead and grab a seat, boys. I’ll grab some plates and silverware.” 

It was surprisingly easy to outmaneuver Tony and take the chair across from his father. Odin was the bigger threat. Tony sat down beside Loki across from his mother’s place. 

Loki began to run through the list of things he could try and engage his father with, trying to select the least likely to cause a stir. 

“I heard you backed a loan for Sword,” Tony said to Odin. “Interesting group to work with.” 

Loki scrambled through company names, but he couldn’t remember hearing Tony talk about them. It also sounded like a challenge to his ears, and he couldn’t help but wince as he rushed to assess his father’s reaction. 

Yet Odin was begrudgingly amused, if anything. “There’s a lot of money to be made in surveillance and security,” he said. “You must know that.” 

“They own a few of our systems,” Tony said. 

As interest sparked in his father’s eyes, it suddenly made sense why Tony had been assuring him that he knew how to deal with men like his father. When Tony had said it, Loki had thought he meant overbearing, and Loki hadn’t put much weight in that. He hadn’t thought Tony meant business men until now. “Do you know how they plan to use it?” Odin asked. 

“Too well,” Tony answered. 

Odin started to say something about their financial projections, but Loki didn’t catch any of it over the rattling of plates and forks. His mother set them down beside Loki, smiling at him. “I thought you’d want to cut the cake, dear.” 

Loki rose, feeling soft towards his mother for recognizing that. It was fortunate she hadn’t given the task to Tony. Then they’d all be receiving wobbly squares with chunks that fell as he landed them on the plate. 

Loki’s long fingers swiftly unboxed the cake, popping the plastic tabs on the case and setting the lid aside. He cut with deliberate precision, elegantly prying perfect slices from the chocolate cake and plating them. A soft gasp fell from his mother’s lips. 

“Loki,” she said. 

His heart began to pound. 

She’d been more perceptive than he’d expected and noticed the inked ring. 

“The layers are gorgeous.” His gaze sunk down towards the tier of three ombre layers. “Are they dark to milk chocolate?” She asked. 

Loki self-consciously set his hand against the spot on his chest where the physical ring rested beneath his shirt. “Yes.” 

“You’ve always been so creative,” she fawned. 

“It’s trendy,” he answered. 

And honestly, two of the layers were extras from other cake projects he’d had at work. It had been nothing to throw three together to make another cake. “Well, I’m sure many people will find it just as unique and exemplary as I do,” she said as if that was that. Loki reached across the table to distribute plates. His mother’s hand set on his shoulder as he recognized that Tony and Odin were still discussing the surveillance company. “Would you set out the forks? I left the tea in the kitchen,” his mother said. 

Tony took his fork from Loki’s grasp and set it a few inches away from his plate. All of Tony’s attention appeared to be on his father, but clearly Tony was paying more attention to him than Loki had realized. Loki slid back down into his chair. Tony was making some counter point about the company and Odin was nodding his head approvingly. 

Loki found Tony’s foot under the table, softly slotting his in against it. 

He slid his right fingers under the weight of his thigh. His father began to eat, knocking back some whiskey after the first bite. Loki chewed on the inside of his lip until the soft clatter of teacups on a tray announced his mother’s arrival. “I put honey in them,” she told Tony. 

He thanked her with a flash of a smile while Odin carried on whatever point he was making. 

Loki watched as his mother carefully cut a cube from her cake slice with the side of her fork. She sat up straight, shoulders pushed perfectly back as her chin was held high. Meanwhile, his father was slouched comfortably back in his own chair, carrying on. “Loki,” his mother said. “This is divine.” 

“He’s an incredible baker,” Tony said, pulling back from his conversation with Odin. 

The look on his mother’s face said that she already knew, but it was his father that spoke. “You’ve tried moving into the kitchen appliances market, haven’t you?” 

“Somewhat,” Tony said reluctantly. There was enough charm in his voice and expression though that Loki knew his parents wouldn’t recognize the difference. “Although we should have Loki design them. Then our last coffee maker would’ve done better.” 

“Are you hiring Loki, then?” His mother asked immediately with far too much enthusiasm. Loki’s stomach squirmed with embarrassment. 

“We’re dating, Mother,” Loki said for what felt like the hundredth time. “I’m not going to work for Tony,” he reminded her, also for the hundredth time. “And Tony’s definitely not going to work for me,” he said with humor, smirking sideways at him. 

There was an urgency in Tony’s eyes, and Loki just knew he had to be wondering if Loki was going to tell them now. He shook his head minutely. He’d wait until they were finished eating and nursing their tea. “Yeah. I’d burn everything,” Tony said. 

With a dim frown his mother returned to cutting her cake into delicate square bites. “Do you have any hobbies, Stark?” Odin asked. 

Tony licked his lips. “I fix cars,” he said lightly. “I restored a ’68 Dodge Charger a couple summers ago.” 

“You should leave that to a mechanic,” Odin said. 

“I like knowing it’s done right,” Tony said. “I don’t let anyone touch my cars.” Odin grunted. Loki clenched his teeth. The unnecessary body noises had never stopped vexing him. He wished his father would simply speak.

“You collect cars, don’t you, Tony?” His mother asked. 

“Some,” Tony said, a bit sheepishly. “I sold some a few years back when I realized that I was never driving them.” He grabbed his teacup. “I don’t want to hold onto them if I can’t enjoy them.” 

“Your father was a collector too,” Odin said. 

Loki tensed. He didn’t want memories of Tony’s father being brought up. 

“Yeah,” Tony said lightly. 

“Dad,” Loki said. “Weren’t you and Mum planning on taking a trip to Belize soon?” 

Odin made another of his infamous grunts in confirmation, as if the mere mention of the idea were boring. “Have you been?” Loki’s mother asked Tony. “We were planning to stay out on a resort at one of the islands.” 

“I haven’t,” Tony said. “But I’ve been to quite a few places in the Caribbean. I went scuba diving a lot before I had my chest injury. My parents liked St. Barts.” 

“St. Barts is lovely,” his mother agreed. 

“Maybe Loki and I will go sometime,” Tony said. A jolt struck Loki’s chest. His eyes darted to his mother, who looked far too interested in the idea. 

“Yeah?” His father asked, the complete opposite of his wife. Loki knew he didn’t believe Tony. Loki didn’t really either. He’d told Tony he could pick the place for their honeymoon, but that didn’t mean his foot wouldn’t come down on some things if he was being honest. He dared a glance in Tony’s direction, only to find that Tony was hesitantly, expectantly waiting on him. Loki cleared his throat. He reached for his untouched tea, gulping down too much.

“When would you go?” Loki’s mother asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Tony shrugged it off. “Soon maybe. Or not,” he said, abandoning the idea. 

Their plates were nothing but scattered crumbs. Loki sipped down more of his tea, his heart starting to pound. He’d made Tony promise to let him choose when they told him. Now was the time. He saw the opportunity for a transition. 

“When are you going?” Tony asked politely. 

“Oh, probably in a few months,” she answered, glancing at her husband. “When things calm down at the business.” 

“I know how that goes,” Tony said. 

Loki’s teacup was empty. He set it down slowly, steeling himself. They’d been over this. He could do this. 

“Mum,” he said. “You may—want to—hold off on finalizing your travel plans right away.” Loki pressed his lips together. Tony’s foot pressed against his calf, hooking their ankles together while he remained perfectly still at the table. Loki’s mother recognized that something was up immediately, and that made it harder. “We have some good news to share with you.” 

He needed to say it all at once so it’d be laid out on his terms. He swallowed, time creeping by as he rushed to yank the words out of himself. “Tony and I are—engaged. And we’d like to invite you to the wedding,” he said, losing his nerve and staring down at the table instead. A flush hit his cheeks. He felt like he was five and had just been caught sneaking sweets out of the kitchen. “It’s going to be small and private with just our close friends and family. I’d like it if you could come and be there at the ceremony.” 

He heard a fork hit a plate. 

Loki recoiled for a moment, but then determination swept through. No. He was doing this. He’d promised Tony they would do this, and he wasn’t going to back down now. 

He looked up just in time to see the look his parents were exchanging. His father was paling with rage while his mother smiled stiffly, turning towards them. “When do you plan to do that, Dear?” 

“Late summer,” Loki offered. 

Tony’s hand grabbed his beneath the table, and only then did Loki realize that his nails were leaving welts in his palm. Tony’s own hand shook with a faint tremor but his face showed none of it. He was resolute as he looked forward towards Loki’s parents. “We’d love it if you could come,” Tony reiterated. 

His mother’s face softened into a worried frown. “Who’s going to pay for your wedding, Dear?” She asked Loki. It felt like a cold strike to the face. Shame recoiled through him. “Let us help you. There’s no need for you to limit yourselves to something small because you can’t afford it. You’re young.” 

“We’re going to pay for it,” Tony said defiantly. He said it with a smile, but damn if there wasn’t fire beneath it. He set his hands on the table. “It’s kind of you to offer, but Loki and I are going to do it our own way.” 

She ignored Tony, zeroing in on Loki with an intensity that made him feel guilty. “I don’t want my youngest son to have to hold back.” The worry in her voice was heavy.

“Mum,” Loki started to correct her just as Tony spoke. 

“Money isn’t an issue. We can handle it on our own,” he said in that quick way he got when he was anxious. “And Loki can handle his half, we’ve already figured it out.” Loki knew he was trying to help, but he closed his eyes and took in a breath. Shit. 

“I’m sure you can, Dear,” she told Tony. Loki winced as he realized he’d been kneading his fingers together and forgotten about keeping his new tattoo still. “Loki.” He glanced up. 

His mother smiled softly at him, and for a moment he forgot how uncomfortable he was. “Have you set a date?” 

“Not a calendar date yet, no.” They knew the general timeframe, they just hadn’t prioritized setting an official date over everything else that was going on. “But we will tell you,” he said. He stared at her for a moment, dazed, as if he was trying to will the outcome he wanted into existence. “Will you and Dad come?” 

“Of course, Love. Just—” His father made a noise that stopped her. 

“I don’t see why,” his father said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re encouraging this.” 

“Encoura—” She started. 

“These two have no concept of marriage,” his father said. “They’re kids, and you’re encouraging them to play house.” 

“We are not kids,” Loki said. The funny thing about saying it was that saying it made it feel untrue. He balked at the feeling and didn’t recover in time to talk over his father. 

“What need do they have to get married?” He asked aloud, as if he expected the whole table to already know the answer and agree with him. 

“Why shouldn’t we?” Loki asked, far more righteousness in his voice. He glared at his father, adamant on an answer. His father merely stared at him like he had indigestion. “Thor’s married. Why can’t I?” 

“Thor had a child on the way—” His mother started. 

“You,” his father said. “Are an irresponsible trouble maker that never finishes anything you start. Now you want to get married to a reckless party animal that’s had his indiscretions in front of the public? Neither of you have any concept of the responsibilities of marriage.” He crossed his arms over his gut. “Do you want to get married just because Thor did, Loki? Is that what this is about? Your petty competitiveness towards him?” Loki’s thoughts stumbled. Sure, Thor had gotten married, but that’s not why they were doing it, right? He hadn’t subconsciously been trying to be like Thor, had he? “I can’t condone you wedding yourself to this overindulgent playboy. You don’t know what damage you’re doing to your life.” 

“Take it back,” Loki snapped. Talking about him was one thing, but speaking about Tony that way was unacceptable. He seethed at his father, boiling inside. 

“Loki, surely you understand that words can never be taken back,” his father said. The _you of all people_ was implied, reminding Loki of all the times he’d been reprimanded for the things he’d said in the roar of his temper. 

Yet, he knew exactly what he wanted to say this time. “I am not going to sit here while you insult my fiancé and belittle my choices,” Loki said. The fire leapt inside of his chest and burned with a fury that kept him together. “You can come to our wedding, or you can not. It’s your choice.” 

“I think what your father means to say is that you’re both terribly young,” his mother said gently, smiling sympathetically towards Tony. He felt his blood pressure skyrocket. Holy shit. Tony was sitting right next to him and he knew he was going to get into this with his family. Tony didn’t deserve to sit here through it. “We just want to help you make good decisions.” 

“Your good decisions, or mine?” Loki demanded. 

He wanted to look over at Tony to check on him, but he couldn’t without losing focus on his mother. 

“Loki,” his mother placated as his father started up again. 

“You can hardly be credited with good decisions,” his father said. “We’ve allowed you two to have your fun. You can carry on as long as you continue to keep it quiet, but marriage is another matter. There is a lot more at stake than your…dalliance.” 

Loki had heard enough. “How dare you talk about us like this?” He flung the accusation at his father. “We’re getting married whether you like it or not. It’s not up to you to decide!” 

“You will tire of each other soon enough,” his father said. “You’re never satisfied. You were unhappy with your choice on schools and careers, and those were not legally binding. This is.” 

“This isn’t up for debate,” Loki growled out at him. 

His mother smiled uncomfortably, curling her hands together. “Loki. Please. Don’t make things worse,” she said. 

He didn’t need her taking his father’s side. If she wanted to make a fight of this, then he would. This wasn't okay and he wasn’t going to take it this time. “Define worse.” Loki waited for his father to say something spectacularly awful, but all he got was another exchange of glances between his parents. They weren’t rushing to speak, so Loki finally dared a glance towards Tony. 

What he found was an intense, hardened stare in his parents’ direction. Tony didn’t seem to be having a panic attack, but sometimes it was hard to tell. Usually he wasn’t this silent. Loki began to worry.

“If you’re going to criticize us and disapprove, then don’t come to the wedding,” Loki said. “I only want you there if you want to be there.” He started to rise. “Tony, let’s go.” 

“Loki,” his mother said. “Please sit down.” Tony stood up beside him. All of Loki’s focus was on his mother. “It was not my intention to upset you.” 

He pressed his lips together. The worst of it was, he believed her, he really did. And he felt sorry for the pitiful look in her eyes. But it didn’t really change anything. “And yet the damage is done,” he said tersely. 

“Please sit down,” she said. The decorum was nauseating. Loki freely reached for Tony’s hand for the first time in front of his parents, not giving a fuck in the slightest what they thought about it. Tony’s hand was cold and clammy. 

“I’m not,” Loki said. “We’re leaving.” His heart was pounding again. “Thank you for tea.” 

“You know you can’t reason with him when he’s like this,” Odin muttered to her, deliberately loud enough for everyone to hear. Loki moved to go, but Tony’s hand didn’t budge. His eye trailed from their linked hands up to Tony’s arm to find his fiancé firm, defiant gaze set hard against his parents. 

“Loki’s not a child, and he’s not an irresponsible trouble maker that never finishes anything he starts,” Tony said, loud and clear. “He’s a smart, hardworking chef that I’m going to be proud to call my husband.” Tony said his next words a fraction quieter, as if disgusted. “And maybe if he didn’t have you two for parents, he’d see that too.” 

Surprise struck Loki and his parents equally. The mood in the room was like a string that had been plucked. Loki stared, momentarily dumbfounded, until Tony tugged his hand. “I’ve had enough of your family being shitty about you getting married,” Tony said. Loki knew Tony was including Thor in that. “I know I don’t have a perfect record,” Tony said over his shoulder to Loki’s parents. “But I do love your son.” He started forward.

Loki looked back to catch one last glance of his mother as they started for the door. There was too much on her face to read at once, but somewhere in there, Loki thought he saw grief.

 

“Shit,” Tony said, coming to a dead stop as they walked down the front path towards the car. “I forgot to grab the cake box.”

“Leave it,” Loki said. He wasn’t happy about the thought, but he sure as hell didn’t want to go inside either. He’d buy another one. 

They’d dropped each other’s hands almost the second they got through the door, but Tony was still walking close enough for Loki to suddenly grab him by the suit jacket and pull him in. Loki bent down, pressing his lips to Tony’s with urgency. He squeezed Tony’s waist, tears suddenly pricking his eyes at the immense relief he felt as Tony kissed him back, one hand raking up Loki’s back. 

Loki took in a deep breath as Tony let go. He rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye, breathing. Then he turned to get into the car. 

Tony’s hand was on his thigh the moment they were inside, almost like he was afraid Loki was going to vanish if he let go. “Well, we still have all of our limbs,” Tony said. Loki blinked back a couple tears. Now that it was over, the adrenaline was rocking through him with nowhere to go. 

Loki didn’t even know why he was crying. He was just pissed and overwhelmed. “Lo,” Tony said. 

“I’m okay,” Loki said, wiping his eye with the back of his hand and starting up the car. It hummed to life. “I’m—” He stared down at his fingers curled around the steering wheel. “Good,” he finished. He felt better than he had after any argument he’d had with them. Yeah, he was upset, but he was _stable_. “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” Loki said, voice breaking in the middle. 

“Lo—” They bounced as the car hit an uneven patch of pavement turning out onto the street. “We both knew they were going to be assholes about it.” 

Loki turned to look at him. Tony stared back at him with kind brown eyes that seemed earnest. Loki stared back at the road. The headlights hit rows of mailboxes and disappeared into the shadows. “Doesn’t mean I wanted you to have to sit through it,” Loki said. 

“Well I didn’t want you to have to sit through that shit either,” Tony said, anger coloring his voice. “That was bullshit.” 

Loki felt numb as he slumped back against the seat, hands loose on the steering wheel. He’d known it could go poorly, but he’d promised himself that he’d stay calm and lay down rules like they talked about, instead of falling back on his temper. He’d spent so much time thinking about it and coaching himself that it felt like defeat. He’d yelled. “I mean,” Tony said. “The _first_ thing your mom said was about paying for it.” 

He really wished he’d done better, even if this was one of the least vicious fights with his parents he’d had. “And then your dad’s crap about us not being prepared, like we’re fucking children. My company’s worth more than his.” Loki’s hand slipped over the blinker. “I can’t be that much of a fuck up if I’m—Lo?” 

“Hmm?” Loki asked as they turned down a street. 

“You don’t—agree with them, do you?” 

That caught Loki’s attention. “No,” he said, scorn scrunching his face into a dismissive scowl. 

“Oh. Okay, well, did you notice how your mom kept asking for the date?” He hadn’t. “She didn’t even say that they were going to attend until you asked, and then she went right along with your father when he started with that absolute shit about you—Lo?” Loki pushed his hair back from his face. 

“What?” 

Tony was silent for a moment. “What are you thinking about?” 

It was always such a strange fucking question to be asked what he was thinking. Loki navigated the car around a bit of debris on the road. 

He might as well just tell Tony, because he was going to anyway. “That I’m sorry you had to see me freak out at my family after all the prep we’ve done beforehand.” Tony fell quiet again, so Loki assumed that he was agreeing. They’d done a fucking session and everything on this, and he’d still gone and fucked it up. 

“I don’t think you did bad, Lo.” Loki braked for a car that was turning in front of them. “You stood up to them, Loki. I, actually, I thought you did great.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest, pushing himself back against his seat. “To be honest,” Tony said. “He, your father—reminded me a lot of Howard.” 

“How so?”

“Uhhh—” Tony rearranged his position in the seat. “Well, I—Arguing with my old man wasn’t unheard of, but I—caved pretty fast, I think. Not that I wanted to, I just, well yeah I actually kind of wanted his approval.” Tony scratched his fingers along his beard. “So I usually gave in a lot faster than I realized, it wasn’t a conscious thing,” Tony explained. “There was just one fight where I really held my ground against him, where we were really yelling, you know? This kind of, I mean this wasn't yelling tonight, but I, it seemed familiar.” 

“What did you fight about?” 

There was a soft huff from Tony. “You know, I actually don’t remember.” He reached over and adjusted the air conditioning. “I’m sure it was about school or something, but all I remember now is how it felt.” 

That said a lot. Loki chewed on his bottom lip, flipping the brights on. “I know that was hard to sit through,” Loki said. He was mortified about it, if he was being honest with himself. “I’m sorry I yelled—”

“—A,” Tony said. “I’ve heard you yell before. You’ve heard me yell before,” Tony said. “We are way past that. B, you barely yelled, let alone raised your voice. Why are you beating yourself up right now?” The seatbelt stretched with Tony as he sat up. “Why aren’t you pissed?” 

“I am,” Loki insisted. He was pissed, he was just—his chest ached. 

“No,” Tony said. Loki wondered if they were going to break into an argument now. “Tell me what it is, Lo.”

“Maybe I’m pissed that my family’s fucked up?” Loki asked. Great, now they were going to get into it too. “Maybe I wanted my mother to be happier for us?” Fantastic, now warm tears were leaping into his eyes. “Maybe,” he said, taking a deep breath to hold them back. “I’m sorry I have to drag my fiancé through all that and I feel bad about it? Maybe I realized that we did the whole therapy thing and I’m still yelling and losing my temper and I thought I made progress but I haven’t? Maybe I’m tired?” 

“Loki,” Tony said. “If you hadn’t gotten upset you’d have way bigger problems.” 

Loki breathed in through his nose. “What do you mean?” Fuck, it sounded whiney. 

“I mean that if you’d just sat there and taken it, that’d—not be a good thing.” Tony’s voice turned thoughtful. “Do you feel bad about yelling?” 

Wasn't it obvious?

Loki didn’t say anything, and that seemed to be enough of an answer. “Why?” Tony asked. 

“Because,” Loki said, suddenly frustrated with him. “I’ve had this insane temper since the day you met me, and I—” He didn’t know. “Just wanted to be able to sit there and tell my parents what my expectations were.” He just wanted to get home and crawl into bed. He wasn’t ready to deal with all of what had happened. “I wanted them to say okay, and I fucked it up—”

“—You didn’t fuck it up,” Tony said. 

“Yes. I did.” 

“No. You didn’t.” Tony’s hand set on his thigh. “You did exactly what you wanted to do—you told them and you invited them and gave them what you expected. How they reacted is on them. Look, Lo. We didn’t go to our session and plan because it had to go perfectly. We did it because we knew it wouldn’t go perfectly.” Tony squeezed his tensing thigh. “And that is not your fault. This isn’t on you. God, Lo. It’s not on you.” Really, he wanted nothing more than to be in bed right now and to be out of this fucking dress shirt. “And who cares if you yelled? I think you can yell when you’re upset. Sometimes you can’t sit there and have a rational, calm tea party of a disagreement.” 

“But—” 

“You weren’t that bad, Lo. And I don’t know what the fuck was up with your dad saying that shit about when you get like this. You weren’t unreasonable.” 

“I’m not—?”

“No. You’re not.” Tony leaned away back into his seat. “Really, fuck your parents, Lo.” Why didn’t that make him feel better? On one hand, sure, fuck them. On the other… 

Loki rubbed at his face, then undid the top couple of buttons on his shirt. Tony leaned his shoulder against the car window, staring out. 

“I think,” Loki said. “That’s—one of the better fights we’ve had.” 

Tony sighed heavily. They were quiet as they turned down another road, closer to home. “At least it’s over now, right?” He asked Loki.

“Yeah.” 

Loki’s eyes darted to the clock, estimating how long it would be before he could rip off this fucking shirt and crawl under the covers. And they both had to fucking work tomorrow. 

When they’d stayed quiet for a couple minutes, Tony reached over and turned the radio onto a low setting. 

Maybe it hadn’t been as bad as it could have been. In her own way, his mother had tried to help with the wedding. She knew Loki had just gotten back on his feet and now had a business to run. If his father didn’t approve, there was nothing that could be done. 

Loki wondered if he didn’t have all of these issues with his parents, then Tony would want a huge wedding. Tony liked people. He was popular. Surely Loki was the one holding him back. Loki bit the inside of his cheek. 

When he glanced over, Tony’s head was back against the seat, body slouched and tired. He had that look like he’d probably pass out the moment they made it home. He was lost in thought and worried though, that much Loki knew. 

Loki blinked as he felt a fresh sting at his eyes at the thought. It didn’t go as horribly as it could have, and Tony wasn’t mad at him, Loki tried to console himself. He _had_ held his ground against them, like Tony said. It still stung, though. 

The rest of the ride home was quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...the big chapter is here. I hope it wasn't too traumatizing. X) There was definitely some cuddling up and passing out asleep after this but they made it through telling them. As always, I love hearing your thoughts/reactions/analysis! :)


	7. Chapter 7

The very next day, Tony was distracted at work enough for one of his assistants to ask what was wrong. Tony waved him off with some bullshit about how he hadn't slept well and had been up late working in the lab. The explanation was accepted easily enough. Tony secluded himself in his office at the first opportunity. 

He sat at his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. For once he was looking forward to wading through paperwork, although he would’ve killed to have a PA that he could genuinely trust with such a task. 

He’d just have to keep dreaming. 

Tony worked through lunch because if he tried hard enough, he wasn’t inundated by memories of the night before. He couldn’t believe he’d made it through that family gathering, and he also couldn’t even begin to imagine what Loki’s life must’ve been like growing up with that _every day_. 

At least Howard and Maria had had the decency to neglect him with a rotating wheel of nannies when they were unhappy with him. 

Not that Loki’s family was a surprise. Even if Tony hadn’t met them, he’d gotten a good sense of their handiwork on Loki right from when they’d first started dating. 

And at least Loki wasn’t compulsively apologizing in conflicts like he had when they’d first met. At least, not as much. 

He could see how that would’ve gotten Loki out of hot water before. 

Tony sighed, fighting off a migraine. He sipped the cold coffee sitting on his desk. It was bitter and tasted like shit, but he didn’t want to get up. He started reviewing a contract that he’d wanted to check privately before signing. Time easily stretched into the late afternoon. 

“Mr. Stark?” It was from his secretary, announced over the computer. “Mrs. Odinson from Asgard Corporation is here to see you.” 

Tony froze. He stared at the blinking notification on the screen, but the decision came easily. “Give me five minutes, then send her in.” 

Tony cleared all of the papers off his desk, making sure that nothing sensitive or valuable was visible. He wasn’t panicking because fuck it. He’d had e-fucking-nough of Loki’s parents, and without Loki here to worry about, Tony could be perfectly clear. If she wanted to come here and start shit, Tony would put an end to it. 

For a split second he considered hiding the framed picture of Loki and him on his desk because it felt too intimate and personal for her to see. In it, they had their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders and shit eating grins on their faces from some antics at Clint’s house. But then he decided hell no. She should know exactly what she was denying her son. He turned it facing the door and set it beside the kinetic sculpture. 

He’d already taken his meds a couple hours ago when he’d felt the prickle of the onset of anxiety about everything in general, so there wasn’t anything else to do but straighten his tie and sit back in his chair, setting his best game face on. He’d be fine. 

In exactly five minutes, Mrs. Odinson stepped in, her tall figure backlit by the hallway lights. The secretary cast an uneasy glance in Tony’s direction before shutting the door. 

Mrs. Odinson wore a pastel colored dress, her curly hair worn up. She approached Tony’s desk with her lips pulled into a tight, flat line, pale eyes worried and sharp. Her chunky necklaces jangled with each step.

Tony watched her, making bets with himself on whether she’d presumptively take a seat or stand over him the entire time. 

She stopped just short of the desk, angling her large purse against her hip as her fingers tightened around the strap. Now that he thought of it, he’d never seen her with such blatant nervous tells. 

“I don’t ordinarily accept clients without an appointment,” Tony said, voice professional and cold. 

He didn’t think it was his meds that were keeping him together on this. It was fury. Sharp, acrid fury for harming the man he loved. 

“I’m not here as a client,” Mrs. Odinson said, taking one of the two chairs in front of Tony’s desk. “I’m here as a mother.” 

Tony bit back on something harsh and hateful. Even if Tony had grown to loathe the woman, she was still the mother that Loki loved. 

She watched him, clearly expecting a response. He let her sweat it out. This was his fucking office. If she wanted to feel comfortable and at ease, she should’ve picked somewhere else. He’d made many cunning deals in this exact seat. 

She held his calculating gaze, as if trying to read straight through him. “I want to know what your intentions are towards my son.” 

“No you don’t.” 

It was out before Tony could even think about it, but he didn’t second guess it. He leaned back in his seat, drumming his fingers against one of the armrests and raising his eyebrows as he waited for her to challenge him. “I don’t have a secret agenda,” Tony said. “I’ve made my intentions perfectly clear. Your son and I are getting married, Mrs. Odinson, and the only say you have in that is whether you’ll accept it.” 

“I don’t,” she said with a protective fury that _almost_ frightened Tony, “want to see my youngest son used as a connection—”

“When,” Tony cut her off, “have I ever given you the impression that I’m using him as a _connection_?” The fucking audacity. Really. “I’ll remind you that Thor and I were friends for years before I ever started dating your son.” 

She watched him shrewdly, pushing her fingers down against the purse in her lap. 

“And,” Tony said, “it’s not as if you allowed Loki himself to make use of those _connections_. I’ve seen him work two jobs nonstop just to live in that rat hole you held over his head. Believe me, I didn’t fall in love with Loki for his _connections_.” Once Tony had worked out what had been going on with that apartment, he’d always resented Loki’s parents for it. “So if you think that I’m after Asgard Corporation through your son, you’re delusional.” 

She blinked, maybe mortified, Tony couldn’t tell. Everything he’d ever wanted to say was fighting to unleash itself, and the only thing holding him back at all was the nagging in the back of his mind that as long as Loki wanted his mother in his life, Tony couldn’t torch the bridge and watch it burn with a beer in hand. No matter how much he wanted to. For a long moment, Mrs. Odinson was quiet, her lips pressed together and haloed by frown lines. “I hope that you will not take your resentment towards me out on my husband’s company.” 

There was something about the way she said it that almost made Tony feel sorry for her. If he hadn’t seen all the shit she’d put Loki through, he probably would have. “I won’t,” Tony said. His mouth twitched in a scornful, half-assed smile. “This isn’t about business.” 

She folded her hands in her lap, her lacquered nails catching the artificial lighting in his office. The look she gave them was absolutely morose, but his statement seemed to put her at ease. She relaxed, studying Tony again. “Loki is my youngest son and he—is a bright, sensitive young man. I don’t think I can stand to see him hurt if—” She stopped, failing to articulate it. 

“Tony,” she tried again. “What you choose to do in your private time is your own business, but Loki is my son and—”

“What do I do in my private time, Mrs. Odinson?” Tony flashed her a smile, as if he was simply trying to understand. 

Her expression soured. “Tony, we both know of your younger days and the crimes that Thor reprieved you from.” She said it quietly, as if ashamed for him. 

No. Fuck Howard and everyone else that said he wasn’t capable of doing this. Here he was, successfully managing his own damn company, and it was one of the best tech companies in the whole fucking world. He wasn’t the naive kid that’d gotten shipped off to MIT anymore. 

“With all due respect, Mrs. Odinson, I’ve worked damn hard to put those days behind me.” He leaned forward. “And unless you have a specific complaint about how I’ve treated your son, I don’t want to hear it.” 

She looked away, and he could tell the moment that she spotted the photograph. Her eyes lingered on it, the ever-present sorrowfulness in her growing more noticeable. 

“You probably think I’m a wicked old woman,” she said. 

Tony stared at her, utterly uncertain of what to expect from that statement.

“I love Loki,” she said. “I have since the day we brought him home.” A protective rage lurked beneath her voice. “I only want what’s best for him. And you’ve always been a sweet boy, Tony, but I do not think you can fault me for having doubts. Marriage is a serious commitment. I do not want to see him hurt.” 

When had she even tried to get to know him? Throughout his entire relationship with Loki, he’d never once felt comfortable around her. 

She wasn’t making any sense. 

And the fucking thought that he was trying to hurt Loki—he couldn’t help it, it made him fucking pissed. “Why the hell would I hurt Loki?” She blinked, perhaps stunned at the break in the cold professionalism Tony had been directing towards her. “With all due respect Mrs. Odinson, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Her eyes flickered between the photo and the awards on the far side of Tony’s desk. “I want you to take good care of my son.” 

He raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

“He has a good heart and I don’t want to lose him over this,” she told Tony. He was even more confused now. It sounded like she was pleading when she’d been calling in the cavalry a couple minutes ago. 

“You can come to the wedding if you want,” Tony reminded her. “Loki did invite you.” 

They stared at each other. 

He really wanted to ask her what the hell she actually wanted so they could move on with this. 

“I know you don’t understand our actions as parents,” she told Tony. Ah, maybe it was about what he’d said when they’d left last night. “Maybe one day if you have children of your own, you’ll understand. I’ll always be his mother. Worrying and pushing is just what mothers do.” 

Tony didn’t really give a shit what her justification was. He nudged his cellphone on his desk, watching the screen light up and checking the time. There were no missed messages from Loki. “I don’t see what the problem is here,” Tony said. 

“I did not mean to upset Loki,” she said, as if she were carrying on the conversation from something else. 

Tony leaned back into his chair, studying her. He found that he did not have any real sympathy for her. The weirdness in her conversation was putting him on edge, though. Really, if his therapist and Bruce and even Loki hadn’t drilled it into his head how important she was to Loki and that he needed to be sensitive to that, she would’ve found out just how vicious he could be in a board room by now. He’d had Obadiah and his father to learn from. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how. “I don’t see why that’s a discussion you should be having with me,” Tony said. 

She didn’t say anything. 

He’d had enough of all of this. “You’re invited to the wedding because Loki wants you there. You can come. But don’t come if you and your husband are going to make Loki feel bad about himself on his big day.” Tony folded his arms over his chest. He shrugged. “I won’t put up with it.” 

“You speak as though I am a terrible mother.” Well damn, give the woman five oscars for that one. 

“Loki’s an adult that can make his own decisions,” Tony said. “He’s told you how he feels about this. I don’t know why you’re coming to me.” 

“Tony,” she said, staring at him like maybe she might be on the verge of tears. When she spoke, Tony realized he’d been way off the mark. She wasn’t shaken at all. “I have no ill will towards you, but you have to understand that Loki is my son. I want him to be happy. I want to know that he’s with someone that cares for him.” 

And why the hell couldn’t that be Tony? 

He’d been doing well up until this point, but he had to admit that it hurt. Even if he didn’t really give a shit about her thoughts on it. 

Didn’t stop him from seeing the smart ass answer, though. “He is,” Tony said. 

She swallowed, gaze narrowing for a moment before she sighed. “Then I expect that to hold true,” she told him. She rose from the chair. “You boys,” she said quietly. 

It was utterly baffling. Here there were in the office of his multimillion dollar company and she was talking about him and her fiancé like they were snot nosed brats getting off of a school bus. 

“Mrs. Odinson,” Tony said. She paused. “Loki’s happiness is important to me too.” 

“Of course, Tony,” she said, oblivious to the larger meaning that Tony meant. “I would hope so.” She turned to start for the door. “It was good to see you,” she said. Tony didn’t say anything. 

When the door shut, Tony immediately messaged his secretary not to allow her in without an appointment next time. Then he got up from his desk and began to pace. 

Fuck. Shit.

They had a therapy session scheduled for tonight, couldn’t she have waited one more fucking day? Loki needed that session badly just for last night. Loki wasn’t ready for this fresh wave of crap. Tony grabbed his cellphone off the desk. 

His thumb hovered over the button to call Loki. 

He didn’t want to tell Loki today, he wanted to at least get through tonight’s session so they could work on last night, but that wasn’t really an option now, was it? He’d made Loki promise to tell him if something happened. He’d promised too. Tony held the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?” There was a mixer beneath Loki’s voice and a couple of people talking in the background. Loki sounded at ease. 

Tony held his breath for a moment. “Lo,” he said reluctantly. “Your mom just came by my work.” 

“ _What?_ ” Loki’s barked outrage caused the voices behind him to startle into silence. 

“She just left,” Tony said. He heard what was presumably the door to Loki’s office shut. 

“She’s supposed to be coming by here in another half hour,” Loki said. Tony’s hand curled into a fist. The one fucking time she’d ever made the trip to see Loki’s office was today. Of course it was. “She called earlier and asked if she could drop by—are you alright?” Loki interrupted himself. 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I’m fine.” 

“What’d she want?” 

“I think it was the shovel talk? To be honest Lo, your mom didn’t make total sense to me.” 

There was a breathy hiss from Loki. “What did she say to you, Tony?” 

“That—I, first she wanted to know if I was using you as a connection, and I told her no.” There was a groan on the line. “Then, I don’t know, all this stuff about how she’s a mom and I’d better be good to you but it’s not like she gave me the seal of approval or something. I told her she could come to the wedding or not.” Loki whispered some expletive that Tony couldn’t quite make out. 

“Happy is driving me home. Do you want me to have him bring me to your work—”

“—No,” Loki said immediately. “Stay there.” 

Tony wavered. He didn’t want to leave Loki alone. “Are you sure?” 

“Tony,” Loki warned him. “There are some things I need to discuss with my mother alone. She can’t just show up at your work, I can’t believe she—”

“—Why didn’t you text me that she was coming to see you?” Tony asked as soon as the question struck his mind. 

“I thought she was coming here to apologize,” Loki said. “She texted me this morning and I texted her back that I was upset with her—it made sense for her to come,” Loki said. “I didn’t expect—” He let out a sigh of frustration. “I was going to tell you about it when I got home.” 

Tony believed him. Tony was glad he’d called, too, to give Loki a heads up. “Are you positive you don’t need me there?” 

“Yes.” Loki let out a sigh. “Did she say anything else?” 

Tony thought about it for a moment. “I mean, she did say that she didn’t mean to upset you, I think it kind of freaked her out that you were mad at her.” Loki didn’t say anything so he had to be lost in thought. “I told her she needed to talk to you about that, not me.” More silence. “I don’t know what she was expecting me to do. It was weird. She didn’t threaten me,” Tony added, because he thought Loki was going to ask that next. “Just questioned me.” 

“That’s bad enough,” Loki said. He was quiet for a moment before asking, “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. 

Loki gave him a moment to change his mind. “Okay.” The sound of papers being shuffled sounded on Loki’s end. “I’m going to make sure the kitchen’s cleaned down before everyone leaves for the day,” Loki said. “I’ll tell you about how it goes with her when I get home.” 

“Lo? Can you call me?” Tony asked. “Just like, call me and let me know first before you drive home?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay,” Tony said. He glanced down at his ring finger, nervously running his thumb against the smooth metal. “Bye. I love you.” 

There was a brief pause before Loki uttered sincerely, “I love you. See you when I get home.” If Tony had to make bets, Loki was already planning out every step of what was about to happen. 

Tony quietly exhaled before saying goodbye. The line went dead. Tony wandered back to his desk chair, then slumped down in it. He stared out over his office for a while before reaching for his phone. “Happy? I’m ready to go home.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've already written the next chapter with Loki, so that should be up before too long in the week, hopefully. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments on the last chapter! I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet, I didn't want to accidentally say anything that would influence your read on this chapter. Enjoy! :)

Loki had cleaned up his office when she’d first said she was coming, but as soon as he hung up with Tony he made a second sweep, shoving things in drawers and grabbing his mug to dump out. 

The funny thing about it all was that he wasn’t anxious. Last night he’d slept through stressful dreams and woken up feeling like the night before was ages ago, putting some distance there. It was like a hangover that just left him feeling wiped out and firmly irritated. And embarrassed in the sober light of morning, when he remembered crying on the car ride home. It was bad enough that Tony had been through that with him once, but twice now? How many times was he going to put Tony through that before this was all over?

He caught anxious, worried glances from his staff as he opened the door from his office. “Make sure everything’s cleaned up, then you can go home,” he said. A couple of them were in the process already but the others moved to comply. It was close to the end of the day anyway. They had to be ready to leave.

Loki sighed, dumping his mug out in a sink. 

“Everything alright?” Peter asked. The kid was the most brazen one of the whole bunch, although Loki knew it wasn’t intentional. Technically he didn’t even work for Loki, he was just a delivery boy from the company down the hall of the shared office building. Yet somehow, picking up orders always took an incredible amount of time. Probably because his line cook was young and attractive. 

Loki had put him to work more than once, and Peter had just happily accepted whatever banal task Loki gave him just so that he could keep talking. 

Loki nodded. “Perfectly fine,” he said, rinsing the mug out. 

Peter accepted the answer. He didn’t dawdle any longer, but took the cookies his office had ordered and diligently left as if he hadn’t been loitering the last fifteen minutes. Loki started supervising cleanup. 

Later, when everyone was going home, Loki caught fleeting concerned glances in his direction, but the mood had lightened up again and his sous chef was laughing loudly with his prep cook over something. They all filed out, their conversations slowly fading as they disappeared down the hallway. 

Loki stared out over his empty kitchen in contemplation. After a moment, he picked up a rag and wiped down the already pristine surfaces, enjoying the caustic sterilizing smell. The sharp rhythm of heels sounded out in the hall. Loki didn’t have to wonder who they belonged to. He washed his hands, taking a deep breath as he dried them. 

“Loki?” His mother called, cautiously pushing open the door to the kitchen. “I accidentally took the door to the dentist’s office,” she smiled as she spotted him. 

“We can go in my office,” he said curtly, walking out from behind the counter. He didn’t wait for her. 

Her head swiveled as she pretended to marvel at the office while Loki sat down in his desk chair. It wasn’t a large space by any means. She sat down in the only chair Loki had across from his desk. “Did Azalea draw those?” She asked, nodding towards the crayon drawings taped up on the shelf behind Loki’s desk.

“I would hope so,” Loki answered. 

Immediately her eyes flickered to him as her lips pulled back in a frown. “Loki, I’m sorry about last night. Your father and I didn’t mean to upset you. We’re your parents, of course we’re going to worry about you. We just have some reservations about Tony, Sweetheart. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” 

“What were you doing showing up at Tony’s work?” Loki asked. By the way her eyes widened, she hadn’t expected him to know. “You had no right to show up unannounced.” 

“Your father and I are business clients,” she started sheepishly. 

“What were you doing there?” Loki heard his voice rise with the question but couldn't bring himself to care. His mother shifted in her seat. 

“I only meant to hear Tony’s intentions myself,” she said firmly, like it was a concept Loki wasn’t old enough for yet. She set her purse down on the floor. “I know you’re frustrated Dear, but your father and I are simply looking out for you. We want to make sure that you’re not being taken advantage of. Tony’s company—”

“—Why are you being like this?” Loki braced both arms against his desk chair’s armrests, gripping the ends. “Tony has never, not once, used our relationship to get some—” He grimaced, trying to name it. “Fucking favor—”

“—Don’t swear. It’s ignorant and makes you sound less intelligent than the bright young man that you are.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “I’ll speak however I want, Mother.” 

She brushed a finger against her eyelashes, reinforcing their curl. “Loki,” she said. “I understand that you and Tony get along well. I’m not trying to be hard on you,” she said. “I know that your father can be blunt in how he speaks, but he has genuine concern for you. I think he’s right. Tony’s always been a wild child, and I worry for you.” 

How could he get her to see that her worry was completely unfounded? “Tony also makes me happy, Mum,” Loki told her. “It’s not like it’s some big secret that he had a rough couple of years, but so did I.” 

“That was because we enabled you,” she said. “We should’ve pushed you onto your feet sooner. Look how well that worked out,” she said proudly, gesturing towards his office. 

“Mum,” Loki said, staring at her incredulously. “It worked out _terribly_.” 

She startled, confused. 

“Mum,” Loki said. “I was _miserable_. You cutting me off only caused me to throw myself into jobs that weren’t working in the first place. I didn’t get back up on my feet.” 

“You chose to be in that position,” she dismissed him. “You only stayed like that because we enabled you by paying for your apartment, so you didn’t have to try.” She brushed a curl back from her face. The same curls that he pretended gave creation to his own when he was little. “There’s no reason that you couldn’t have done something else. You were always such a bright child. Your teachers always fawned over you. You always scored so much higher than Thor in school.” When in his life had she ever acknowledged that before? Loki didn’t think he’d ever heard her recognize that he’d done anything better than Thor had. “I don’t know what happened to make you so willful and unhappy. I must’ve done something wrong as a parent for you to have been so miserable.” 

Loki smoothed his slacks down on his thigh, attempting to navigate through everything she’d said. Where should he even start? 

“But I am not going to lose you on this, Loki. I want to know that Tony is going to be good for you. I know that you’re young, but marriage is such a significant commitment, Loki. It’s not just a big party that you throw.” 

Loki wondered if she just didn’t get it. “Mum,” he said, sympathy coloring his voice. “The only reason I’m sitting here in this office right now is because Tony encouraged me.” He licked his lips and brushed a hand over the smooth hair where his black locks were pulled back. “If I hadn’t met Tony, I’d still be stuck in that apartment. He helped me grow, Mum.” He felt like he was opening a raw wound for her to see, and the vulnerability of it made him cringe inside. “So if you and Dad are really that worried about me, you shouldn’t be.” 

She held his gaze, unmoving. As if he hadn’t just said something so personal and profound. 

For a moment he just sat there, wondering if he knew who his mother was at all. 

“I’m marrying Tony, Mum.”

She glanced away, clearly irritated. “I am not going to lose you over this, Loki.” Who’d said anything about that? “But if you’re going to cut me out of your life because of this, then ultimately that would be on you.” 

“What are you talking about?” Tony had said she hadn’t made much sense. What if something was seriously medically wrong with her? 

“Since you’ve started dating Tony, you’ve ignored me. You never have time for lunch anymore. You rarely call me. Where is my son?” Her voice was flushed with emotion, all of it hurt and angry and heavy in a way Loki couldn’t cope with just then. 

“I’m running a company now,” he tried to explain. He couldn’t admit to her that his distancing had been deliberate without making this worse. He’d needed that space from her. 

She shook her head. “No. I know that Tony doesn’t care for me, he said so himself. But I don’t see any reason why you should act the same. You ignore me and you’re cold to me. There’s been a divide ever since you started dating Tony, and now you act as though I’m some terrible mother and you’re a victim, even after all that we’ve done for you.” 

“When have I said I’m a victim?” He asked, straining to remember. He didn’t think he had. And if he had, he hadn’t meant to. He’d always been grateful to her, even though they had their issues. “I didn’t say you were a terrible mother—”

“I’m tired of being blamed for everything that’s gone wrong in your life,” she answered.

He knew he hadn’t said that to her, but he also hadn’t known she felt like that. She had problems, he knew that, but he’d always thought that everyone did. He thought they could come back from it. But this didn’t feel fixable. It scared him. 

“You don’t share anything with me anymore, Loki.” Her tone was somewhere between accusatory and hurt, but Loki’s mind latched onto what was said. 

“How could I?” He asked. “The only time you’ve ever supported me seeing Tony is when you thought I was getting a job from him. How could I, when you and Father are absolutely awful to him? You talk about him like he’s this hedonistic maniac that's going to sweep me off my feet and suck out the money I don’t have, like there’s nothing between us but partying and being idiots.” At first he’d meant to explain it to her, but now he was getting pissed. “You and Dad were completely out of line last night. Do you know how incredibly awful you were? Do you know what I felt like to sit there and listen to my fiancé get eviscerated by my parents like that?” Loki glowered at her, daring her to test him. “Dad called him a reckless party animal and a playboy, and you just sat there. You don’t know anything about his life! I thought with all this nonsense you spout about him being this nefarious business partner that you’d be a little more delicate, but obviously I was wrong.” He was fighting himself to stay seated, spreading his legs out and crossing his arms as he leaned back in the chair. “You and Dad were completely out of line.” 

“Tony’s been in serious trouble in the past,” his mother said. 

“So what?” Loki snapped. “Tony’s been through a lot! You and Dad don’t know who he is as a person at all! You just sit there and act like because Thor got him off on some of his charges and you read a couple of tabloid blurbs that you know the whole fucking story. You don’t. You don’t know him,” Loki asserted. 

“Loki,” his mother said, as if he was being mildly embarrassing. 

“What?” He was done. He’d had enough today. When she didn’t answer him and instead balked like he was the one crossing a line, he continued. “No, I’m not going to share things with you,” he said. “Telling you things, Mum—” He shook his head, exasperated. “You’re incredibly critical. I mean, I just told you that Tony helped me grow as a person and it’s like you didn’t hear any of it.” 

“I’m not trying to win this argument, Loki.” She said it with all the sweetness and comfort in the world, but it only made Loki angrier. “I just want to talk to you again. There’s no need to yell. We can talk like civilized—”

“Don’t tone police me!” He pressed a flat hand to the side of his face. “I’ve had enough of worrying over how you and Dad are going to act about this. I’m upset, and I have a right to be upset.” Maybe he’d stolen that line from Tony, but it was okay. “So no, I’m not going to lower my voice and sit here like everything’s alright. You and Dad—” He bit on his lips, eyes intense. “Owe Tony an apology. And you don’t have to like my choices. But you are going to respect them.” He turned back towards her. “So if you don’t want to be at the wedding, don’t come. I’m not asking you permission to marry Tony.” 

He clasped his fingers around the ring against his chest, twisting the chain as he watched her. His eyes burned, livid. She forced herself to smile, then rose from her seat. 

“We can discuss this again when you’ve calmed down,” she said.

He glowered at her, hating her in that moment. He let her turn and leave without saying anything. There was nothing left to say. Loki stayed in his chair until he heard the door to the outside hallway fall shut. Then it all hit him at once. 

It was so much fucking worse than he thought.

He wiped a hand over his cheeks, ignoring the taste of salt on his lips. 

He got up to make himself some tea and wait it out until his voice was stable enough to call Tony. His hand trembled as he sorted through the tea bags shoved in the back of a cabinet. He heard his voice choke out in a sob once or twice, but he’d talked himself down by the time that his tea was ready. He was just exhausted, that was all. Oh, and his mother was fucking exhausting, that too. He had no idea where things were going to go from here. 

Loki grabbed a stool and slouched down at a counter, holding his head in his hands. When he breathed in, his nose was full of snot. Loki got up, purposefully avoiding the mirror in the tiny bathroom as he blew his nose. When he finally went back to his office to grab his phone, he remembered that he’d scheduled a session with Tony tonight. He hadn’t been watching the time. 

They had to be there in forty-five minutes. Shit. And Happy had driven Tony, which meant he’d need a ride there. Loki pressed dial. “Hello?” Tony said. 

“Hey, I’m leaving work now,” Loki said. “I’ll swing by the house to pick you up. Watch for me at the front and just walk out, alright? I didn’t realize it was getting late.” 

“Did everything go okay?” Tony asked. 

“No,” Loki said, digging his keys out of his pocket. “It didn’t.” He turned out the lights. “I’ll tell you about it in the car.” 

“Oh. Okay,” Tony said nervously. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Loki said, starting down the hallway. He nodded to the owner of the shipping company two doors down from his. “I’m fine,” he assured Tony. He felt bad thinking about Tony sitting around at home and worrying. “I’ll see you in a little bit.” Tony reluctantly let him go. Loki got into his car, shoving the keys in the ignition with too much force. He was ready for it to be the god damn weekend already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, analysis/reactions/thoughts are welcome! :) There will be fluff and/or smut somewhere on the horizon for all this angst, promise.


	9. Chapter 9

Happy wouldn’t be driving him home for another half hour, and Tony had burned through all of his paperwork. He sat with his feet propped up on his desk, squeezing a stress ball he’d gotten from some conference. 

He glared at the seat Mrs. Odinson had sat in the day before, wondering if the damn thing needed an exorcism. 

Yesterday, Tony had practically sprinted to Loki's car when he pulled up. “Hey,” Tony said, swinging himself inside. He pulled the groaning, rusted door shut. Loki’s thumbs were pressed at odd angles against the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead. “What happened?” 

“Shit,” Loki said brusquely, the car rolling forward again. 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek, debating how much he wanted to push. Loki had seemed tired on the phone. They were quiet as Loki pulled out onto a busier road. 

“Did you—” Loki licked his lips. “Did you tell my mother you didn’t care for her?” 

“No! I—” Tony rubbed his fingers against the coarse line of his beard, zipping through his conversation with her at warp speed. “She told me she didn’t want me to take my resentment towards her out on her husband, and I didn’t correct her that I wasn’t resentful, I guess. But I didn’t say _anything_ like that, Lo.” 

Loki glanced over at him, and in that short sweep Tony saw that he was on the verge of tears. “Okay.” Loki accepted his statement, brushing the side of his hand against his eyebrow. “I don’t want to have to repeat everything twice,” Loki said. “Can I just talk about it when we get there?” 

“…Yeah,” Tony said. “Of course.” He let out a breath and dropped back against his seat, trying to ignore the strange smell the damn car always seemed to carry. 

And what a hell of a session it had been. 

The logo on the stress ball warped in his clenched hand. 

Tony took some satisfaction from that. He should’ve probably gone down to the programming department and found something to do, but he didn’t want to. He had set up for opening the pool. He hoped that it’d be a good distraction for Loki. The pool floats he’d ordered had been sitting in their delivery boxes for a while now. 

At least last night their therapist had talked Loki into setting appointments for two private sessions before they left. That was a relief. Tony knew they’d probably turn into more. He got out of the chair, abandoning the stress ball. 

He paced the length of the office, checking his watch. 

Loki had taken ages in the shower last night. Tony had stayed up, working on his tablet as he waited in bed. Loki had crawled in and gone to sleep without saying anything. He’d been groggy and quiet this morning too. 

Tony knew it hadn’t even been a full day yet, but he was uneasy. 

He’d gotten so pissed at the session last night that he’d had a hard time listening. Tony buttoned his suit jacket shut. She’d tried talking Loki out of being with him again. She was angry that Loki wasn't spending time or doing lunches with her anymore, and hadn’t Tony seen that coming from a mile away? 

He let out a huff, wishing he had the right clothes to go work out in the employee gym. 

At least Loki had stood up to her. Tony was proud of him for that. 

Loki was hell bent on getting an apology to Tony out of his parents, but Tony wasn’t holding his breath. He didn’t care, really. As far as he was concerned, he’d be way happier with them apologizing to Loki. 

When Happy knocked on the door, Tony could’ve hugged him. He was ready to go home. 

 

Tony loitered around the kitchen after Happy dropped him off, waiting for Loki to come home. Tony kept checking the time on his tablet. It was ten minutes past the time that Loki usually came home. Then fifteen. Then twenty, and thirty, and finally forty-five. 

“Hey,” Tony said, when Loki at last came in the door, carrying a single grocery bag. 

“Hi,” Loki said, digging down into the bag. He grabbed a leafy bundle with a blue rubber band. 

“How was work?” 

Jars rattled as the refrigerator door was yanked open. “Fine,” Loki said. He shoved the leafy bundle inside, along with a jar of salad dressing. He grabbed one of Tony’s sparkling waters out of the back. 

“Did anything interesting happen?” 

Loki left the empty grocery bag collapsed on the counter. “No,” Loki said, popping the tab on the can and taking a drink. 

“I called the pool guys. They’re coming out tomorrow to open it.” 

“Cool.” Loki took another sip. “I’m going to go work on some things upstairs,” he said, leaving as he spoke. 

Tony stared down at the tablet. He drew in a long, deep breath. 

Maybe he just needed to give Loki some space. Maybe he just needed to step off for a while and let Loki work through it. Tony scratched at his scalp, wondering why he didn’t just know the answer.

Still, sitting here was fucking miserable. He didn’t have anything he wanted to work on. Hell, he’d been teaching Jarvis corny pickup lines last week, and now he had zero interest in them. He just couldn’t settle down and focus until he knew that Loki was okay. 

Not that there was something majorly wrong with him, it was just, Tony was uneasy. 

Digging his hands down into his jean pockets, he took a few slow, controlled steps towards the living room. Maybe he’d just ask Loki about dinner. That was normal. Tony meandered around the couch, his red socks sinking into the carpet. He’d just ask Loki what they wanted to do for dinner. 

Slowly, Tony set one foot on the stairs. 

Then the other. 

Little by little, until he was halfway up the stairs. 

“I will not!” 

Tony froze at the sound of Loki’s voice. 

His heart pounded in his chest, the blood rushing to his ears and echoing the thudding beat. 

“I said no. Stop texting me!” 

Tony bit his lip. He should probably go back down the stairs. He should probably sneak back down and let Loki tell him about this on his own. He should probably not eavesdrop. Probably. But. 

Tony tiptoed up the remaining stairs and held his breath as he leaned his back against the wall. He had to know what was going on. “I won’t,” Loki insisted, no longer yelling, but firm and angry. Who was on the other end? Thor? 

“No. We’re not going to talk—”

There was such a long pause that Tony wondered if he couldn’t hear Loki. It wasn’t until Loki spoke again that he realized he shouldn’t have worried. “No. Mum—” Loki’s voice wavered with emotion as Tony’s heart sank into his chest. “—I’m done talking about this. If you and Dad want to come to the wedding, you’re going to apologize!” 

Loki must’ve talked over his mom at the last part because he was suddenly yelling. 

“I know you’re sorry,” Loki said. Tony bit his lip. “No, you and Dad were completely out of line. And you—Mum—Mum! Nobody said anything about leaving!” Tony heard something move, a chair or some books, maybe. He panicked, starting for the stairs, only to stop a second later. “Are you well?” 

“I mean like your health—” Tony was sweating. Shit. “Fine. Fine.” 

“Well I don’t see that happening any time soon.” 

Tony grabbed the front of his shirt, tugging it back and forth to move some air down his chest. It wasn’t that bad. “Mum, just stop. I can’t—” Tony kind of wanted to push the door open and walk in now. Maybe he would. “Then do that! But I’m not going to sit back while you and Dad drag Tony through the mud! You can come or don’t, but don’t expect an invitation unless you both apologize!” 

Tony closed his eyes, breathing in. He waited, but he didn’t hear anything else. After a while, he wasn’t sure if the conversation was still happening or not. 

Tony rapped the back of his knuckles against the door. “Can I come in?” 

“It’s open.” 

Tony pushed the door open a crack to find Loki watching him wearily. 

His face was red, but maybe it was from yelling. He was sitting balled up on the couch, knees against his chest and fingers curled around his cellphone. His long hair fell limply on both sides of his face, making him look particularly miserable. “Aww, Lo,” Tony cooed, without meaning to. 

“My mum called,” Loki said irritably, the faintest waver in his voice. 

“I know. I—heard you yelling,” Tony confessed. Loki watched him for a moment before glancing away. “What happened?” Tony took the couch cushion beside him, trying to avoid one of the damn lumps. 

“She apologized for coming by unannounced yesterday,” Loki said, unimpressed. “But then she started spewing all the same shit—” Loki waved his hand to dismiss it. “I’m not inviting them without an apology,” Loki said. There was a dark, determined hiss beneath his words. 

Tony’s lip was going to swell, he’d been biting it so much.

“She’s been texting all day,” Loki said. “Wanting to do lunch. She just called.” He sighed, dropping his legs down and letting his toes hit the floor. “I’m going to look at some accounting.” 

“Lo,” Tony said. Loki stilled, his face in profile to Tony, listening. “Uh, when I, the first time I started therapy, I—built my mom up a lot. Or, I had. She didn’t push at me the way Howard did, it was just, it was different with her. But it wasn’t—okay,” Tony said slowly. “It took me a long time to accept that my mom—she was negligent, and didn’t stand up to my dad the way _I needed_ her to. I had two imperfect parents, not one. So maybe, what if that’s just the place you’re in now? Seeing her differently?” 

Loki stood up, and Tony couldn’t see his facial reaction. “I know she has issues,” Loki said. He took a step towards his desk. 

“Yeah, but—” Loki was walling himself off, Tony was losing him. “Lo, if my parents were alive right now, it’d be the same shit show. Can you imagine? They’d be clawing each other’s eyes out,” he joked. Or getting along magnificently, wasn’t that a terrifying thought?

Loki slumped into his desk chair. “I know, Tony,” he said gently. 

Tony frowned, not sure what to make of that. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just—need to think for a while,” Loki said. “Let me work.” He needed his space. Tony understood. 

“I’ll, uh, your hand—I’ll make dinner,” Tony offered. 

Loki’s face was awash with skepticism for a moment, and Tony thought he was just on the verge of saying something snarky and teasing when the whole expression slipped away. “That’d be great,” Loki said compliantly. Tony got up, wavering for a moment as Loki bent over a book on his desk. 

“I’ll only burn half of it,” Tony joked. 

“Then we’ll eat the other half,” Loki answered, far too sweet. Tony grabbed the door frame, staring at Loki’s back. 

“I’ll make fruit loops with syrup for the side,” Tony promised. 

“Tony,” Loki said with quiet exasperation. Tony felt like he was only making it worse. He turned and went downstairs. 

 

Tony found a tutorial on youtube. With what he’d learned from helping Loki, he was actually getting somewhat proficient now, thank you very much. Tony took care to try and plate it nicely, but it was amateur hour next to what Loki could do. 

Tony set a cup of Loki’s favorite tea at his spot before calling upstairs. 

“I made shrimp spinach bacon alfredo,” Tony said. Loki stared at it for a moment before taking his seat. 

“Thank you, Tony.” 

“It wasn’t so hard,” Tony said. He pulled his chair in closer to the table. “You know, Happy told me there’s a damn squirrel nest up in one of the trees by the building?” Tony asked. “I think he was making fun of me.” Loki nodded as if that was a good possibility. “He’s started some new drama that sounds a lot like Downton Abbey, although he keeps telling me it isn’t half as good,” Tony said. “It’s something else that’s on PBS,” he continued, pretending not to be holding his breath as he waited for Loki’s reaction to taking the first bite.

Tony was watching though, and he could tell from Loki’s expression that he’d gotten something wrong. “No good?” Tony guessed. 

“No,” Loki lied. “It’s delicious.” 

He curled the noddles around his fork, eyes cast downward as he ate. He was eating it though, so maybe it wasn’t a lie, but Tony felt pretty sure. He didn’t taste anything odd though. 

“Oh, well, I’m going to meet with him tomorrow to go over some new security scheme he has in mind. Apparently he’s worked up this huge idea. I told him I’d listen and maybe we’d give it a shot, but if it requires adding retinal scanners to everything, I’m out.” Loki took a sip. Tony told him more about Happy. 

Tony carried most of the conversation through dinner. Loki started washing the dishes without being asked. “I can get them,” Tony said. “You’re not supposed to with your tattoo—”

Loki glanced at it, conflicted. It took him a moment to answer. “You’re right,” he said, letting go and stepping back. It said something about how much he wanted that thing to stay perfect that he didn’t fight to finish the task. “I think I’m going to go watch TV.” 

“Okay. I’ll join you when I’m done,” Tony said. 

He heard the TV start up in the other room. As he glanced over the kitchen, he saw that he had a long way to go. He hadn’t cleaned anything as he went along. 

He was just drying his hands when he got a work related call that he needed to take. It took a lot longer than Tony expected, and by the time he hung up Loki was already upstairs. He went to check Loki’s room first, but he found Loki in their bed, asleep. His hair was curled in one swoop behind him on the pillow as he laid on his side away from the door. Maybe he was just tired. 

Tony went downstairs and killed a couple of hours in the lab teaching Jarvis historical references. 

 

“Bruce,” Tony said, pressing the phone to his ear the next day. “I don’t know what to do.” Tony shoved a fork into the salad on his desk. He wasn’t having much of a lunch break.

“Your complaint is that he’s being too nice?” Bruce asked. 

“Yeah,” Tony said. He dropped the fork, running his hand through his hair. “He’s just—he’s too nice. This morning I tried to give him a hard time about spilling coffee grinds around the coffee maker and he apologized.” 

“He’s not supposed to?” Bruce asked, clearly not following him. 

“No,” Tony explained. “Usually he gets on me about doing stupid shit like that.” Maybe it was hard to explain to Bruce. “And there were like two. He should’ve told me I left toothpaste in the sink or took all the hot water or something.” 

Bruce sighed. “You said his parents don’t approve, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m sure that’s hard on him,” Bruce said. “Maybe he just needs some time. He’s not going to get over it in one night, and it doesn’t sound like he’s behaving badly, Tony. Let him adjust.” 

Tony huffed, unsure of what to say. “Tony,” Bruce said. “You’re complaining to me that he’s being too nice,” Bruce teased him. 

“Yeah and I hate it,” Tony said. He stabbed his fork down into the stupid salad that was supposed to make him healthy. “It’s not him.” 

“Sometimes you can’t do anything,” Bruce said, voice soft with compassion. “I know you want to, but Loki has to figure things out with his family on his own terms. It might take him a bit and hovering over him won’t change that.” 

Tony didn’t like that answer. He didn’t like not being able to do anything. He didn’t want to accept sitting still and waiting. “I just—” He waved a forkful of lettuce back and forth. “I’m worried. Loki’s family is tough.” He glanced at the chair across from his desk. “I should’ve told his mom off when she showed up here so that she wouldn’t pull this shit, I should’ve—”

“—Tony,” Bruce cut in on his rant. Tony stopped, realizing he was getting carried away. “Why don’t you go do something with Loki? Something small,” he added as a warning. “Like go and see a movie or something. It’ll take both of your minds off it.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “That’s—a really good idea.” 

“You’re not the only genius,” Bruce teased. Tony grinned. As they transitioned into talking about a new fitness class Bruce was taking, Tony texted Loki. 

_Wanna go see a movie tonight?_

The reply was almost instant. _I can't tonight but don’t let me stop you if you want to take your friends :)_

Tony stared dejectedly at the screen and agreed with Bruce that the instructor was overselling the health benefits of a one minute stretch. 

 

Tony went right down to the lab after work. It helped. He only emerged when he was hungry, and startled when he found Loki in the kitchen. “I thought you’d still be at work,” Tony said. 

There was a flicker of something across Loki’s face before it was gone. “It’s eight o’clock,” Loki explained. He took his water glass away from the refrigerator. “I’ve been reading a book.” His pajamas were already on, hanging to the side on his hips. 

“I’m going to heat something up for dinner, do you want to watch some TV on the couch with me?” 

“I’m at a good chapter,” Loki said. “Be careful, you have a smudge of grease on your forehead.” Tony’s hand instantly went to his face. Loki frowned, concerned for a moment before it was gone. “Tell Jarvis I said hello.” 

“I taught him a whole bunch of new stuff,” Tony said. “You want to come into the lab and hear some of it?” 

Loki shook his head minutely. “I really want to finish this chapter.” 

He was being too polite and Tony hated it. “What book are you reading?” 

“It’s sort of a fantasy novel with magic,” Loki said, starting to leave again. 

“Like Harry Potter?” Tony asked, trying to goad him. “Are you reading a children’s book?” Tony caught half of an eye roll before Loki’s back was to him. “Loki,” Tony complained. 

Loki paused, turning to look back over his shoulder expectantly. 

“Hang out with me,” Tony whined, being obnoxious on purpose. There was the faintest twitch of a smirk on Loki’s lips before it was shut down. 

“I really want to read, Tony.” He said it too firmly for Tony to feel comfortable pushing. 

“Fine,” Tony gave up. He went to go dig out what was left of the dinner he’d made the night before. 

 

The next morning, Loki talked to him as they were up moving around to get ready for work, so Tony felt more hopeful. In fact, he felt a lot more hopeful. 

Maybe yesterday he’d just been letting his anxiety run the show. 

When he got home from work, Loki was already there. “How’d the meeting with Happy go?” Loki asked. 

“Oh—great, yeah. He actually had a list of holes in our security that were really helpful.” Tony made his way to the refrigerator to grab something to drink. “I know the guys play cards on the clock sometimes, but Happy really does make sure they’re on top of things. I knew Happy was great, but now I think I’m going to give him a raise.”

“You should,” Loki agreed. He pulled a canister down from one of the top cabinets. 

“Are you making something?” 

“Just tea for myself,” Loki said. “Do you want some?” 

“Nah. Hey, I’m going to go see how the pool’s coming along, have you looked?” 

“It looked alright to me,” Loki answered. 

“It’ll be a while with the chemicals before we can get in it,” Tony said, going to check. He got lost in playing around with the lighting and upgrades he’d made before he went back inside. Loki was still at the counter, twirling a spoon around in his mug. “Is there something in the kitchen you need help with?” Tony asked, wondering if Loki wanted to make something and just wasn’t asking for help. 

Loki shook his head. “I’m fine, thank you.” 

“You sure?” 

“Would you like to watch the microwave timer count down for me and say when it goes off?” Loki asked, grinning a bit daringly. That was a good sign. 

There was something small being heated up in the microwave. “I think I’ll let you handle that,” Tony answered. He was going to go watch an episode of Happy’s new favorite TV show so he could comment on it. 

 

They had dinner together and Loki talked about some kid that was hitting on his line cook. He bantered with Tony and even though he wanted to read his book after dinner, it didn’t bother Tony this time. Tony taught Jarvis some pop culture references. Then he wandered upstairs around the time that Loki usually went to bed. The shower was on. 

Tony crawled in under the sheets, grabbing his tablet and propping himself up against the headboard. 

He was in a damn good mood. 

Jarvis had made him laugh, and each time it was from something the AI had come up with on his own. 

Loki walked into the room with an armful of clothes. Tony didn’t know why Loki dressed himself in the bathroom when he could just walk out into their bedroom. He wasn’t complaining about that top, though. The black long sleeve shirt was too wide at Loki’s neck, stretching out over the tops of his shoulders and showing off his collarbones. The fleece bottoms belonged to Tony, though. “I thought those were too short for your legs,” Tony teased him. 

Loki dumped his clothes in the hamper. “As I said before, you must’ve been having a fantasy about being tall when you bought them, because they fit me just fine.” 

Tony set the tablet down on the nightstand. “Let me see,” Tony said. 

Loki stopped in front of the bed and lifted the hem of his shirt so that Tony could see how the waistband wasn’t too low. “Do you see my ankles?” He asked Tony. “I don’t know how you wore these things without tripping over them.” 

“They must’ve stretched out in the wash,” Tony said. Loki hummed in reply, coming around to his half of the bed. Tony shifted onto his side, facing Loki as his fiancé pulled back the heavy comforter and got in. “Are you sure they fit you?” Tony teased, reaching out and setting his hand on Loki’s hip. In that small moment of contact, everything felt right in the world again. Loki glanced down at his hand. 

“Like a glove,” Loki said. 

Tony brushed his thumb over the arch of Loki’s hipbone. “I don’t know,” Tony said. “Maybe I need to inspect them.” His fingertips just grazed the waistband when Loki rolled away onto his side. 

“Pass,” he said. 

Tony smiled with an unspoken laugh. “Come here,” he said, leaning over onto Loki’s half of the bed. He set one hand on the bed by Loki’s hip to catch his balance. “I won’t steal them back, I promise. Just let me see.” 

Loki’s hand came around his wrist with a surprising grip. He thought Loki was going to pull him forward and knock him off balance on purpose, so he started to grin in anticipation. Instead Loki let go, using the same hand to push back against Tony’s chest without turning to face him. “I’m not in the mood,” Loki said. 

Tony’s hand retreated from his side of the bed as if Loki had slapped him. He sat back on his half, the room too cold suddenly. “I’m just not in the mood tonight, Tony,” Loki mumbled, apologetic, not turning around. 

“Okay,” Tony said, trying to play it off lightheartedly. “I’ll keep my hands to myself.” He pulled himself onto his side of the bed, leaving a wide wake between them. He turned out the lights. 

Tony opened his mouth to say something, but then let his jaw hang slack. He rolled over onto his side, easing the blankets up over his shoulder. He laid there, struck by the whiplash in mood. Tony crossed his arms over his chest and pulled his knees up close, squeezing his eyes shut. As the comforter pulled across his shoulder from Loki shifting on the other side of the bed, Tony ignored it.


	10. Chapter 10

Loki waved back as Clint’s car pulled away with Tony inside, hoping that his smile didn’t betray his relief. Then he leaned back inside and shut the door with a heavy click.

Clint needed a rock climbing partner since Sam was off on some extreme skydiving thing, and Tony needed to get out of the house. Or rather, Loki needed Tony to get out of the house.

He’d been following Loki around from the moment he woke up. And when Clint called halfway through breakfast, Tony tried to invite Loki along, but Loki pulled some bullshit about his tattoo to get out of going to the indoor sports hells scape and then smoothly wheedled Tony into going. 

Loki paused in the middle of the front hall and glanced down at his finger. The scabbing and peeling was done, but he still wanted to give it a while before getting into the pool that Tony kept bringing up. Loki sighed, combing one hand back through his hair. 

He decided to wander out to the pool anyway. Loki stared down into the clear water, his reflection wobbling back and forth at him. Loki sat down. He took his phone out of his back pocket, then let his feet sink down over the edge. The cold water went up to his calf. 

Aside from the calls of a few birds, it was quiet. It was…nice. 

Loki set the palms of his hands against the hard texture of the concrete, leaning back. 

A warm breeze blew through and Loki closed his eyes. 

Maybe he’d go out to the bookstores today and get out of the house himself. 

Loki started to get up when his phone rang. Glancing down, he recognized Thor’s photo. With a sigh Loki grabbed his phone, flicking the call on with his thumb. “Hello?” 

“Hi Loki, it’s Thor.” Loki rolled his eyes. Of course he knew that, there was no need to say it. “How are you?” He asked with trepidation, like he already knew the response he’d get.

“Fine,” Loki answered, kicking one of his legs beneath the water. He let his foot fly up, water smacking across the surface. 

“I spoke to Mum today,” Thor said. “I told her she was overreacting about Tony.” Loki’s foot stilled beneath the water. “She said you were demanding an apology.” Thor hesitated, and in the distance Loki could hear Asterion barking. “What—did Mum and Dad say?” 

Loki pressed the phone against his cheek, surprised that Thor was asking. “Thor, when we went over there to tell them—” It suddenly struck him that he hadn’t been talking to Thor at all, and now he felt sort of bad about that. He hadn’t told Thor what happened. “In front of Tony, they—they told him, well Father told him that he was a reckless playboy that was going to ruin my life, and then Mum started in on how they were just concerned parents—she showed up at his work, Thor.” Loki flew into anger recalling it. “She went into his office and told him basically that she didn’t want him to marry me and then she drove straight to my office and tried to talk me out of it—It’s not their decision. They’re being completely unreasonable, and they made Tony sit there while they insinuated that he was just whoring around—”

“—Did they say that?” Thor asked, anger rumbling across his words. 

“They insinuated it,” Loki repeated. “Dad called it a—a _dalliance_ , which you know is just his way of saying it. He may as well have, and yes, I want them to apologize for it. Tony’s got enough on his plate without them being absolute asses,” Loki finished, huffing out a heavy breath. 

“How is Tony?” Thor asked, thoughtful. 

“I—I don’t know,” Loki said. He did, but he didn’t really have an answer for Thor. “Stressed out,” he tried. “Anxious. I—I know he’s unhappy that his parents can’t be here to see this, and with our parents’ bullshit, I—I know it’s a lot to deal with. He’s out with Clint today on some rock climbing thing.” 

Thor let out a soft laugh at Tony rock climbing and Loki smiled, needing something to be light about. “I will tell Mother she owes Tony an apology,” Thor said. “And Father.” Loki hadn’t expected his older brother to take his side. A hint of fondness sparked. “They owe you an apology as well,” Thor said, sounding tired and upset. 

“Mother has apologized to me, but it’s only because I yelled at her,” Loki admitted. “And still, she only apologized for showing up at Tony’s work unexpectedly and for upsetting me. She hasn’t apologized for what they’ve said. I—don’t think she gets it, Thor.” Loki bit his lip, shaking his head as he looked out over the pool. The floats had all piled into the northern corner from the breeze. “She’s sorry that I’m angry at her, but she feels justified in what she says. I—I almost wonder if she—” Loki hated saying it, he didn’t want to say it. “Has something medically wrong with her. She’s acting so absurd.” 

“She was upset that you asked her that,” Thor said. He sighed. “In truth, Loki, they are acting no different than they did with Jane and I.” Loki stared down at the way the water distorted his legs. “I approached them about marrying Jane in the past, and—” Thor’s voice broke with what sounded like pain. “They said her upbringing was low class and—I don’t want to talk about it.” Maybe that’s when his Father had told Jane she didn’t belong with their family anymore than a goat belonged at the dinner table. Man, they were fucked up. “When she got pregnant it was another matter,” Thor said. “And that’s not an option in your case.” 

“Do you think that’s what it is?” Loki asked. “It’s just that Tony is a guy, and they can’t stand the thought of publicly having a queer son in the family?” There was a little vitriol to the way he said it, but in a way it’d be easier to accept that his parents were simply bigoted assholes, instead of just assholes. To him.

“No,” Thor said. “Though yes, they’d prefer that you marry a woman, I don’t think that’s what this is about.” Something was muffled on Thor’s end for a second, then there was the faint sound of Asterion’s panting and a collar jingling. “Tony’s—a good businessman. He’s stronger than they are, and I think that intimidates them,” Thor guessed. “If you’re married to him, then they’ll feel as though he has sway over their company—”

“—But he doesn’t.”

“In their minds, he does,” Thor said. “You’ll inherit a portion of the company—” Loki scoffed, cutting him off. 

“Father’s not going to include me in his will,” Loki said with certainty. 

“I disagree, and you underestimate Mother,” Thor said. “She wouldn’t allow you to be left out, Loki.” It didn’t feel like that anymore. “I don’t know all of their thinking,” Thor confessed. There was a pause. Loki shuffled his legs against the force of the water. “Loki, now that I’ve had some time to think about it,” Thor said. “I—admire what you’re doing with Tony.” 

Loki almost dropped his phone into the pool. 

“I always regretted not marrying Jane sooner,” Thor said. “I thought it’d be worse to put her through what you’re dealing with from Mum and Dad now, but she dealt with that anyway. The only difference was that I didn't get to marry her,” Thor said. “You’re young now, and you’ll have way more years with Tony than I will with Jane. So I think you should,” Thor said. “For you.” 

Loki’s thumb brushed against the side of his phone. “Thank you,” Loki said. He felt lighter. He hadn’t expected this from Thor at all. 

“I’ll say the same to Mum and Dad about apologizing,” Thor said. “You and Tony don’t deserve to be spoken to that way.” Loki nodded though Thor couldn’t see him. 

“We opened the pool,” Loki said. “You should bring Azalea out here to practice swimming.” 

Thor’s voice brightened for the first time in their conversation. “She’d love that,” he said. “I’m sure Tony has a million toys in the thing already.” 

Loki laughed. “He does. He ordered a couple of floats specifically to mess with Clint.” 

“I bet he did,” Thor said. “We’ll bring her over sometime. Jane’s been on my case about having you out for dinner anyway.” Wonderful Jane. Loki brushed his hair back, the strands warm from the sun. 

“Anytime,” he said. He pulled his legs out of the water. He was going to go hit the bookstores and get out of here for a while. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? Thanks,” he repeated, trying to shove all of the gratitude he felt into the clipped utterance. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.” 

“Don’t be,” Loki answered. They…had their issues. He didn’t expect things to go well between them all the time. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Bye Loki.” 

Loki hung up, leaving wet footprints behind him as he wandered inside. He was relieved to know that Thor was on his side, even if he didn’t think it’d change his parents’ minds. 

 

“Where’ve you been?” 

Tony was sitting with his feet propped up on one of the chairs in the kitchen, one arm casually hung over the back of the chair as the other hovered over his tablet. Loki pushed his sunglasses back from his face. He dangled a bag full of books out for Tony to see. “Where do you think?” He started to grin, then decided that’d sounded harsh. He needed to be gentler with Tony, to be less abrasive and ill-tempered like he’d always been. “I went to the bookstores,” he clarified. 

Tony swung his legs down from the chair. “Find anything good?” Loki shrugged, setting the bag down on the counter. “Clint sprained his ankle on the climbing wall,” Tony said. He smiled, so Loki knew it wasn’t serious. “He’s fine, but his ego took a bruising.” 

“Not surprising,” Loki agreed. 

“Here,” Tony said, pulling out his phone. “This is a picture of the climbing wall.” Loki walked over to the table and accepted the phone as it was stretched towards him. The first thing that was obvious from the photo was that the wall was incredibly high up. He was kind of surprised that Tony had tried it, not that he’d say so. 

“How’d Clint sprain his ankle?” 

“He lost his footing,” Tony answered. “Swipe right.” There were a few of pictures of them on the wall taken from someone below, and then a dozen or so of them making faces in a doctor’s office somewhere. 

“I didn’t realize you went to an ER,” Loki said. 

“It was an urgent care,” Tony said. “Conveniently, suspiciously located beside the sporting place,” he added, smirking. Loki lingered on the next photo. Tony was beaming like an idiot while Clint pouted behind him. It was obviously staged, but they were both having a good time. And Tony looked…precious. It was odd, but he did, and Loki fucking adored him. 

So naturally he felt a pang of guilt out of everything that had been going on. Handing the phone back, he decided not to mention Thor calling now. It’d just bring everything up again, and Tony seemed to be in a good mood. Loki didn’t want to alter that. 

“So Clint’s alright,” Loki checked. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, setting his phone down. “I can’t wait to see how much shit Sam gives him over it.” Loki pushed a smile onto his face. He took a few steps towards the counter to grab his books. “Do you have any plans tonight?” 

Loki glanced back at Tony, holding back a snarky reply. Tony knew he didn’t. “No,” Loki said, grabbing the bag’s handle. The weight plunged downwards as Loki pulled it from the counter, letting it hang by his side. 

“Well, I was thinking we could have dinner out by the pool, maybe go for a dip afterward—” Tony said, wiggling his eyebrows. Loki smiled at how ridiculous he was being. “Clothing optional,” Tony said. “Just so we can test the water, you know.” His eyes lit up with hope.

Loki grabbed the bottom of the bag of books, holding it. He wanted to say _Test it for what, exactly? Your unbridled lust?_ but that didn’t seem fair. He was popping Tony’s bubble. “I don’t want to take any risks with the chlorine exposure yet,” Loki said. He’d never taken such good care of any of his other pieces, but he wanted to on this one. “We can have dinner out there, though,” Loki tried to compromise. 

“Or,” Tony said, swinging around in his chair so that he was completely facing Loki, “if you don’t want to get your finger wet, you can watch me.” Loki let the small of his back lean against the kitchen counter, resting his weight on it. He held the books closer. “I’ll try out the floats,” Tony lasciviously offered. “You can tell me which one I pose best on.” 

And then hold back on telling Tony’s friends what bodily parts those floats had come into contact with forever. 

Loki watched Tony, carefully considering what he was about to say. Loki didn’t see how that’d be any fun for Tony if Loki couldn’t follow him in. And truth be told, he just wasn’t in the mood to play around tonight. But Tony was trying so hard. And he was in a good mood, and Loki was wrecking that. “Okay.” 

Tony’s eyebrow twitched down for a split second. “We can do that pool boy thing we talked about ages ago.” 

Again, Loki wasn’t sure how that was going to translate to a lot of fun. “Sure,” he smiled. “I think that thong’s up in a drawer somewhere.” 

“What would you like to do?” Tony asked. Tony was genuinely curious, and Loki found the inquisitiveness unsettling. He just wanted to go along with whatever it was. He must’ve been taking too long to answer because then Tony said, “We don’t have to.” 

“No, we can,” Loki said. “I’ll figure out something for us to eat, just let me put these books upstairs.” 

“Are you sure you want to?” Tony asked. 

Loki looked into his soft brown eyes, tender with concern. He wanted to smooth that away, to make them clever and bright again. Loki took a step towards the chair. Tony needed affection, and Loki knew he’d never been great at that. He’d never been profuse with it the way he probably should’ve been. He’d never been one to compliment incessantly or ask for goodnight kisses. Loki reached out to smooth the cowlick in Tony’s hair. 

Tony’s eyes flicked towards the motion. Loki’s family had put Tony through the ringer. Loki didn’t want Tony to think that he agreed with his parents. “It’s fine, babe,” Loki reassured him, combing Tony’s hair with the back of his nails. 

“Would you please call me an asshole?” Tony asked. Loki froze, eyes going wide. His hand retreated. Tony stared up at him, eyebrows pinched together. “You know,” Tony said, not accusatory, “you’re being gentle with me. I’m not fragile.” Loki stared at him, bewildered. 

“What are you talking about?” Loki asked softly, wondering how he’d fucked up. 

“You don’t call me babe,” Tony said. “And you don’t act so—weird,” Tony said. 

“You call me babe,” Loki said. It was the first thing he could think to say, and he didn’t know what Tony meant by weird. 

“Yeah. But that’s different. I normally do that.” 

“What?” 

Tony let out a heavy sigh, clearly frustrated. He looked away before turning back to Loki again. “You’re not being you,” Tony said. “You’re—being too nice.” Tony held his stare until Loki couldn’t take his brown eyes anymore. 

“I’m being too nice,” he said flatly. 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I hate it.” 

Loki didn’t know what to say. 

“You haven’t joked with me or teased me or given me a hard time about anything,” Tony said. “You’re being polite.” 

“So—you’re upset about me not being an asshole?” Loki asked, unsure whether he’d heard right. 

“Loki,” Tony said, speaking his name with fondness. “You’re not an asshole.” Loki’s lips parted, drawing back into a scowl. “You’re not,” Tony said gently. “I, you joke with me. I love that about you. So just say whatever it is you want to say.” 

“I think you hit your head rock climbing,” Loki said. He moved to leave. 

“Loki, wait.” Loki stilled, holding the bag of books to his chest without turning around. “Damnit, Lo,” Tony muttered behind him. “Talk to me.” 

“About what?” Loki asked, straining so fucking hard to stay neutral that he thought his vocal cords would snap. 

“About what’s bothering you,” Tony said. “About why you’re treating me like porcelain,” Tony said. “Did I do something?” 

“No,” Loki said, turning around awash with sympathy. “You didn’t do anything.” 

Tony had one arm resting against the back of the chair, but the hand on his knee was clenched. “Then why are you acting weird?” 

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, almost flinching. “I’m—tired, Tony. I’m just tired.” 

“Is that it?” Tony asked. “You’re just tired?” 

“Yes.” 

He couldn’t handle the way Tony was looking at him. “I’m fine,” Loki said. “I think I just need to take a nap—”

“—Don’t go.” Tony hadn’t left his chair, but he was intense. “I know it’s more than that,” Tony said. His voice dropped down, softer. “Whatever it is Lo, whatever happened, I can handle it. You can tell me. Please. What happened?” 

“Nothing,” Loki said, rubbing his forehead. Fuck, actually, now he was tired. He let the books slide down by the handle of the bag and slump onto the floor. “Thor called today and said he’d support us and that my parents should apologize. Things are fine, nothing happened, I’m just tired.” 

Tony’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Thor said what?” If it weren’t for the look in Tony’s eyes, Loki would’ve read it as a casual question. 

“Nothing, Tony,” Loki said. “We’re good. It was fine.” 

Tony scratched his beard, then refocused his attention on Loki. “Did something else happen?” 

“No. I’m fine, Tony,” Loki said. “I’m sorry I’ve been—weird. I’ll try not to be.” He brushed his hair back, trying to figure out where he’d made the mistake. How he was being weird and polite. “I’m just tired. I’m sorry. I’ll get better.” 

“Loki,” Tony said, rising from the chair. Loki folded his arms over his chest, fingers slipping protectively around his sides. Tony approached until he was standing a few inches away, not touching him. “I know something’s not right.” 

“It’s just stress,” Loki said. “It’s just this shit with my family. I’m sorry you have to put up with it,” Loki told the kitchen tiles. “I’ll get over it.” 

“Loki,” Tony said. He paused, but Loki’s obsession with the kitchen tiles didn’t shift. “Let me be there for you.” His voice implored so much that Loki couldn’t help but look. Tony smiled at him, encouraging. “It’s alright if you feel like shit, just let me feel that with you,” Tony said. He set a hand on Loki’s forearm. “I don’t want you to do that by yourself.” 

The warmth from Tony’s hand seeped into his skin. “Okay?” Tony softly asked. 

Something splintered in Loki’s chest, cracking and snapping until Loki felt more come roaring forward than he could hold in. “I—just feel like shit about it,” Loki said. “I don’t want you to sit through my parents shit, and I don’t want you to have to water your wedding down just because my family’s a bunch of assholes and I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit and I’m sick of my parents and I’m tired, okay?” He felt heat pressing at his eyes but ignored it. Tony’s hold on his forearm increased. 

“Hey,” Tony said, trying to get his attention. “Hey. It’s _our_ wedding, okay? Not my wedding, _our_ wedding. You’re not, Lo, you’re not denying me anything. You’re not—watering down something, is that, what do you think I want for a wedding?” Tony asked. 

Loki breathed in, tilting his chin up away from Tony as he said, “A big event where all of your friends and employees and everyone can come, not some small, cheap thing.” 

“No.” Tony tilted his head, trying to make eye contact. “When did I say that?” 

Loki turned his head to the side, speaking away from him. “Tony, your company throws massive event parties with guest lists in the hundreds. You’re always up on stage and a ton of people know you. People like you. Why would you want—something small?” 

“Because it’s with you,” Tony said like he was being stupid. “Look, yeah, I can go to parties and have a good time and I can get up on stage and do the whole bit, but it’s an act. I’m—” Suddenly Tony was worked up. “Not like that,” he said. “All those people that show up, they’re the people I’ve told you about, Loki. They’re the people that’d be happy to sleep with me or sweet-talk a deal, but they’re not my friends, alright? You—you know the things I’ve said about what those parties were like in the past.” Loki could only nod his head. “So why would I want those people there with us?” Tony asked him. “The people I care about are Sam and Bruce and Clint and Thor and Natasha and Steve and Happy, but that’s about it. Those are the people that are there for me. I don’t need everybody else. Our wedding isn’t a PR shtick.” 

After Tony’s rant it seemed obvious, but Loki didn’t feel much better. 

“I’m not holding back,” Tony said. “Do—you want something big?” Loki shook his head. He hardly had friends anyway, being the loaner that he was. “Well—okay,” Tony said, winding down. “So no problem there, right?” 

“Right,” Loki said. 

“And your family, Lo. I feel like I’ve said this a million times, but I guess you still don’t believe me.” His hand reappeared on Loki’s forearm. “I don’t care. I’m with you, not them. I’m not leaving you over them.” 

Loki blinked, the well from before gushing up again. 

“ _You’re_ the one I care about,” Tony insisted. “I’m not worried about their shit or what they say to me, I’m worried about _you_.” Tony leaned in closer. “So stop worrying about me. What about you?” 

Loki looked around the kitchen, trying to condense it all down into words. 

“It just fucking sucks,” he breathed out. 

“I—” Tony started. “I know,” he quietly finished. He eased his hands in towards Loki’s waist and Loki surprised himself, letting go and allowing Tony’s arms to sneak in around him and hold him tight. 

His chest fucking ached. 

“I don’t want it to be like this,” Loki said. 

“I know.” Tony turned his head so his ear was resting against Loki’s heart. 

Loki blinked rapidly, straining to hold back on another meltdown. He rubbed his eyes and drew in a breath. “I don’t want,” he started, trying to explain to Tony, trying to ease the tension in his chest, trying to give a reason for why he was failing to shield Tony, “for you to have to deal with them.” Tony’s chin set against his sternum. 

He started up at Loki, remarkably patient. “But I want to,” he said. What the hell did that mean? “Lo,” Tony said, squeezing his arms where he’d latched on around Loki’s slender torso. “I didn’t want to deal with my parents’ deaths, but I needed to. You helped me in a way no one else in my life had.” Loki’s limbs went slack. “You were really good at it,” Tony said, smiling a bit, almost apologetic. “So I want to. Help you with your family, and what’s happening, and it’s our wedding Lo, you’re not alone in this. You’ve—” Tony let out a soft sigh. “Gotten a lot better at letting me in, you have. But you still need a reminder sometimes.” He half smiled at Loki, like he was afraid of being rejected. “You’re here when I need you, I want to do the same for you. Let me be here for you, Lo. I want to be here.” 

Loki slumped, heat rolling down his cheeks. His hands lay limp at his sides as his mind scrambled to coordinate the flood. Tony held him tighter. Everything that Loki had been holding on to was swirling around in a chaotic mess, impossible to quickly pin down and reassemble. He had no choice but to let it through. His vision blurred as tears slipped past, sliding down and onto his chest. 

It could’ve been minutes or seconds before Loki spoke. 

“I hate crying in front of you,” Loki whispered. 

Tony managed a small laugh. “I don’t think anybody enjoys crying, Lo.” 

Loki smiled, letting out a heavy breath. He blinked, lashes wet. “I wanted—” Loki started. He licked his lips. “Her to be happy for me. I don’t know why it’s not good enough. Why all of this—” He leaned his weight into his hip, Tony’s shifting with his. “Isn’t good enough.” 

Tony’s chest rose and fell against his. “I don’t think it’s about you or me,” Tony said, somber and low. “You’re—not under their control with me, and I think that’s what it’s really about.” Loki tried to consider that, believing and rejecting it at the same time. “Unless you married someone they picked out, I don’t think they’d be happy,” Tony said. “Jane’s great, she’s at the top of her field and an incredible person, but they always found a reason to reject her for Thor,” Tony said. “And you know, even if you did marry someone they picked out, I still think they’d find reasons to put that person down. It’s not about who you’re with. It’s about control, babe.” 

Loki just slumped into him. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

It wasn’t even about the wedding, not really. It was just that he was looking his family directly in its ugly, repugnant face, and it fucking hurt. 

Loki reached around Tony, sliding his fingers over the warm, worn fabric of his t-shirt, pulling in the soft spaces between his ribs and shoulder blades. He let his head sink down, closing his eyes as his chin settled on a messy brown scruff of hair. 

Loki sunk into Tony, his heartbeat slowly thundering down to a soft patter, letting Tony hold him. 

“Thank you,” Tony whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” Loki answered. 

“No,” Tony said, pulling him in tighter. “Thank you.” He huffed. “You’re taking my thank you,” he said, trying to lighten his voice. Loki’s eyes blinked open, shooting a put upon look at the counter. 

“Fine,” he relented. “If you insist.” 

“I do,” Tony said, his head brushing against Loki’s chest. “I do.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tony’s alarm yanked him out of sleep, and he barely had time to comprehend and fumble for his phone before Loki’s unhappy groan whined behind him. Tony pulled himself up onto his forearms, turning his head to glance at Loki. 

Loki had one eye open, his face absolutely petulant. “Why are you getting up this early?” He half-whispered, his voice breaking in the middle. “It’s Sunday.” 

Tony sat up. “I’m going for a jog.” Loki pushed up his bottom lip, poorly rendering a dismissive, disapproving scowl. Maybe on another morning it would’ve made Tony laugh. But this morning, in the dim light, he only saw the exhaustion lurking beneath Loki’s expression, the knife’s edge between okay and the misery of the past week. “I think you should come,” Tony thought aloud. 

Loki stared at him with both eyes now, utterly unamused by the suggestion. He lifted his arm up against his forehead and rested it there. Tony started to feel guilty about not considering him when he set his alarm. Then Loki surprised him. “Okay. I’ll come.” 

Loki started to sit up. Tony didn’t know if it was because this was just more of that weird agreeableness Loki had been putting up or capriciousness, but Tony didn’t care this time when the result was the same. Loki put one foot on the floor. “I’m not running, though.” 

Tony grinned out of sheer amusement, well aware that Loki wasn’t watching him. “We’ll walk then.” 

They dressed in silence, Tony pausing to watch Loki tie his hair back in a bun before they went downstairs together. 

Tony was trying to get back up on the horse with his health stuff again. He didn’t want to get sidelined by his anxiety now, and man was it giving its best shot. Tony pulled on his running shoes, watching Loki from the corner of his eye. 

Loki moved at a delay, groggy. Not that Tony was much better. Loki pulled a baggy sweatshirt over his head. “Where are we going to go?”

“I’d just planned on the backyard,” Tony said. It was kind of huge. “You might get hot in that.” 

“The moon’s still out,” Loki said. 

Tony smiled in an unspoken laugh. “Lokes. The sun is up. There are birds.” 

Loki glared at him, the bags under his eyes much more noticeable. Tony started for the door, knowing that Loki would follow. 

 

Heavy dew coated the grass, and there were more than a few birds up singing. The sun had just started over the horizon. At first they walked in silence, Loki’s hands balled inside the pocket of his sweatshirt, Tony pushing their pace faster like a horse chomping at the bit. 

They snaked a line through the dew on the freshly cut grass, wandering over the acreage that Tony’s father had left him. 

“Don’t you want to run on pavement?” Loki asked abruptly. 

Tony smiled self-consciously. “Sometimes I go out and run up on the road,” he said. “But this seemed nicer for a walk.” There were trees and birds and shit. Of course it was nicer. 

Loki didn’t have anything to say to that, but when Tony glanced over, he found that Loki looked thoughtful. Peaceful, maybe, if it weren’t obvious that he was thinking hard about something. At least he always seemed to enjoy it outside. 

Tony yawned. 

He felt productive getting up early like this, but damn if he didn’t want a cup of coffee and cuddling in a warm bed. 

“Tony,” Loki said, a note of urgency in his voice. “Did you—like that raspberry cake I made before?” 

Tony tried not to let how absurd the abrupt question was was show on his face. “Yeah,” he said. “I like a lot of the stuff you make, Lo. My waistline proves that.” 

“But do you have a favorite?” 

Loki was being unusually self-conscious about what he made. Since they’d been living together, Loki had eased up to the point of telling Tony that if he didn’t like something, he was on his own. Not that he didn’t spoil Tony too. It worked out. “Why?” 

Loki raised his chin. “I was thinking of making the cake for our wedding.” 

Tony’s paced slowed. He was wide awake now. “Instead of buying it?” Loki stared straight ahead, frowning. “I think that’s a great idea,” Tony encouraged him. He could’ve sworn Loki had told him he wanted a cake from some fancy ass baker a few hours north of them, but if he’d changed his mind that was okay. 

Loki picked at one of his nails. “What flavor do you want?” 

“Well. There has to be some chocolate in there somewhere,” Tony said. Loki smirked softly to the side, and it spurred Tony on. “Or, one time, I was staying at this hotel in Las Vegas and they had this cake that had squares in it that were different flavors—” Tony paused, trying to recall what it was named. 

“Probably a battenberg cake,” Loki said. 

That one had been good, but there was another he suddenly remembered. “What’s the red one called? That has white icing.” 

“Red velvet.” 

“Yeah. That one’s okay,” Tony said. “But you said raspberry…?”

“I was thinking of champagne with raspberry, or maybe something with rum,” Loki said. “I’m not entirely sure.” 

“Are you kidding? That sounds awesome.” 

Loki smiled to the side, and Tony couldn’t begin to describe the relief he felt when he realized that this was the first time he’d heard Loki talk about their wedding with anything resembling excitement in weeks. And that smile. God, Tony had missed that over the last week.

Truthfully, he missed sick in bed and happily babbling about ideas for their wedding Loki a lot. 

“Whatever you decide on will be good, Lo.” 

“You’re not an impartial judge,” Loki answered. It was lighthearted, and Loki yawned afterwards, rubbing his eye. The comfortable silence settled back in. Eventually, Tony directed their path back towards the house. “What would you think,” Loki started, “about inviting Thor and Jane over to have Azalea swim today?” 

Tony stepped over a fallen branch. He didn’t care one way or the other about his friends using the pool. “I thought you couldn't get in the water.” 

“I’m not planning to swim,” Loki said. “I might walk down the steps and get my legs wet.” He stared down at his hand. “I think it’s okay,” he said softly. 

Tony had noticed that the rules around what Loki’s new tattoo could and couldn’t do were mysteriously flexible, but he wasn’t willing to push. It’d been a few weeks since Loki had gotten it, and Tony had looked up the recovery timeline ages ago anyway. Loki was wanting to spend time with Thor. Tony figured that was a good thing. “Sure,” Tony said. “Let’s have them over this afternoon.” 

Loki took out his phone to text them.

 

It felt like the morning zipped by before Jane and Thor were on their way. Loki came downstairs dressed for the pool, and Tony got to admire Loki in his faded swim trunks. It was time for new ones, but hey, Loki was still gorgeous. 

“Are you wearing sunblock?” Tony asked. Tony had draped a huge beach towel over his own shoulders and most of his chest. He grasped the ends like a cape as he spoke. “You burn worse than anyone I’ve ever met.” 

“You can’t smell it?” Loki asked, noticing the way Tony’s eyes were wandering over him as if he hadn’t seen Loki buck naked before. 

Of course Tony could smell it. It was like he’d shoved a spray can of the stuff up his nose and left it there. “I think you missed a spot on your back,” Tony said helpfully, leering. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing you can get to that I can’t reach myself.” Tony’s eyebrows shut up, an innuendo on his tongue, just as the doorbell rang. Loki knowingly ignored him, moving quickly to answer the door. 

And from there it was an extraordinary amount of oohing and ahhing as Azalea demonstrated her ability to swim when bracketed by Thor’s vigilant arms. And then a lot of screaming triggered by who knew what. When the crying had settled, Loki was shaking a dive ring for Azalea to follow while Thor encouraged her to paddle a few feet out. 

“I’m going to get something to drink,” Tony said, leisurely paddling his pool float up to them. “Any takers?” Thor nodded while Loki shook his head. Jane glanced up from the book she was reading on one of the lounge chairs, nodding. “Azalea?” Tony asked. “I’m going to have to see some I.D. first, though.” 

Loki huffed out a laugh. “There’s margarita mix in the fridge.” 

“I know where all of my alcohol and its accessories are located,” Tony answered. He paddled with his raft over to the edge of the pool, delicately extracting himself so that he wouldn’t get wet. 

To his surprise, Jane got up to follow him inside, saying some nonsense about helping him. She probably wanted to borrow something from the lab. He kept telling her just to text him instead of calling and asking politely. He didn’t mind loaning stuff out. 

Tony bent down to grab the blender out of a kitchen cabinet. When he stood up, setting the heavy appliance down, Jane was sitting in one of the barstools at the counter. “I’m thinking frozen margaritas,” Tony said. “I don’t have all the stuff to make it fancier than that. ” Most of the alcohol in the house was used in Loki’s cooking. Tony didn’t keep an impressive cabinet anymore. 

“That sounds perfect,” Jane said. Tony still felt like she was leading up to something, so he busied himself getting ice. Jane said nothing as he dumped it in the blender. The ice clattered against the glass in one crushing sound. Tony opened the refrigerator, looking for the margarita mix Loki had mentioned. 

“Thor was excited to bring Azalea over here,” Jane said. 

Tony shrugged. “I’m glad that Loki thought to ask.” He peeled the plastic barrier out from inside the margarita mix lid, flicking it away. Apparently Loki had bought it but not opened it. “You guys are always welcome over here.” 

Jane frowned at the mix as Tony poured it in. “How is Loki doing?” She asked carefully. 

That was a complicated question. 

They were better since they’d talked it out, and Tony felt better, but he was glad they had another joint therapy session lined up in a couple days. “Oh, you know.” He tipped the bottle back up. “Fine.” He quickly screwed the lid back on. “His family’s been crummy about the whole wedding thing.” 

“I know,” Jane said, like it was a confession. Tony looked over to find her eyes set on him. “How are you doing?” 

Tony smiled at her. “Me? Fine,” he said. “Always.” 

Jane sighed, leaning back against the chair. “It can be a difficult family to deal with,” Jane said. 

That was an understatement. It didn’t really put Tony off, though. He opened the fridge, dropping the margarita mix back onto the shelf. He probably should’ve checked that there was tequila before he’d started this. 

“I—heard that Mrs. Odinson came by your work,” Jane said. 

Tony started towards the pantry. “Yeah,” he said. “With guns blazing. She’s something else.” He lifted himself up onto his toes, scanning for the bottle. 

“When I was pregnant with Azalea, and especially after I’d had her, Mrs. Odinson gave me enough parenting advice to write several self help books.” 

“I bet,” Tony said. He dug his hand back on the shelf, latching onto a glass bottle that seemed like a match. 

“She drove me crazy,” Jane said. 

Bingo. Tony wiped the thin layer of dust off the top. It was fine. 

“She lectured me on baby formulas and wanted to know which brand of breast pump I was buying, because she wanted to make sure it was the right one or some bullshit like that.” Tony grimaced. 

“That’s awkward,” he said, keeping his eyes very much glued to the tequila bottle.

He heard a soft laugh from Jane. “You don’t know the half of it.” Tony set the bottle down, then pulled open a couple of drawers, looking for something to measure with. “The point is,” Jane said. “It didn’t get better until I put my foot down with her. I threw a fit to keep her out of the delivery room, and well, Thor knows now that there are rules on the advice she can and cannot give me. And—I had to get him on board with that.” 

Tony made sure that he was going light on the tequila as he measured it out. “I know Thor doesn’t always approach Loki well,” Jane offered. 

“You can say that again,” Tony answered, setting the lid on the blender. He flipped it on, trying not to let any irritation show. 

He didn’t have issues with the big guy, not the way Loki did. And Tony knew he didn’t really get everything that had gone on with Loki and Thor, and he probably never would completely. But he knew that Thor had a tendency to step on Loki’s sore spots, and that was something that got Tony worked up. 

When the blender calmed down, Jane offered to help salt the glasses. “I wanted to make sure that you’re okay,” Jane said. Tony glanced up, somewhat startled. It had to show. Jane’s eyebrows bowed sympathetically. “I know how hard their parents can be.” 

It was a loaded statement. 

Tony bit his lip, raking his nails against the side of his head. “Yeah,” he said, the heavy word falling quickly. “I—thanks for that,” Tony said. “Really, it’s not them I’m worried about,” Tony said, glancing towards the doorway. “It’s Loki,” he quietly confided. 

Jane set a perfectly salted margarita glass down on the counter with a soft click. She waited for him to continue. 

“They—he could be so excited about one thing, and they snuff the light out of him, Jane—” Tony smiled, embarrassed. He rolled his shoulders, reaching for the blender. “Sorry, you’re not my therapist. I’d better hold onto this so I have something to tell him about,” Tony joked. 

“I get it,” Jane said firmly. “The Odinsons are hard. That’s why I’m asking, Tony.” She leaned forward at the counter, dropping her voice a little lower as if nervous about being walked in on too. “I meant it when I said you can always come and talk to me about it.” 

Oh. 

Wow. “Thanks,” Tony said. 

“You don’t have to talk to me about it,” Jane said. “But I want you to know that you can.” She smiled at him, soft and warm. “I used to check over your science homework. Now I borrow your lab equipment and talk about research with you,” Jane said. “I care about you, Tony.” 

Tony tried not to laugh, feeling awkward. “I appreciate that, Jane.” He poured some of the frozen margarita into a glass. “Really, it’s not me that I’m worried about. It’s Loki. His parents really did a number on him,” Tony said, anger welling up over the hurt. 

“They did a number on both their kids,” Jane said. Tony poured out the rest of the mix, finishing off the glasses. 

“No offense,” Tony said. “But I think that Loki got the brunt of it.” 

Jane’s lips twitched, but her expression only became more thoughtful. “I know Thor dropped the ball when you two told us you were engaged,” Jane said. “Sometimes he defaults to what his parents think, without even being conscious of it.” Jane circled the salt container with her fingers, thinking. “I know he tries,” she said. “But sometimes he winds up making the mistake anyway.” 

Tony unplugged the blender, realizing that he didn’t know the depths of Thor and Jane’s relationship at all. They’d always been a set in his mind, and they’d gotten together before he’d met Thor. He’d heard about their dramas, he’d been there for some of it, but he’d never sat down and talked to Jane or Thor about what went on between them at length. It was a little disorienting to realize. He didn’t know if it was something he was supposed to know as their friend. 

“Sometimes I have to explain things to Thor, like why it’s _not_ appropriate for his mother to recommend breast pumps to me, a few times before he really gets it. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to,” Jane said, frowning at the corner of her mouth. “And when he does get it, he wants to stand up to his parents, he really does, but it can be difficult for him.” 

“Yeah, they’re not so good with the whole constructive criticism thing,” Tony said. “I don’t think anyone wants to go up against them.”

“True,” Jane said, her voice wavering like there was some other element that Tony hadn’t grasped yet. “But Loki has far more often than Thor, and Thor doesn't always understand why he does. I think he feels like Loki’s making trouble on purpose, and Loki can be standoffish and harsh so it’s not always easy to understand him.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest, reminding himself to listen. “Loki hasn’t always been the most approachable person, Tony. I dated Thor for _years_ , and I’ve only really gotten to know him these past couple of years.” 

“He’s not good at the whole explaining thing,” Tony agreed, mentally arguing that he was so much better than before.

“Neither is great at explaining things to the other,” Jane said. Her dark brown eyes focused on the margarita glasses. “I’m not telling you this to excuse Thor. They’ve both had their issues, but this is how I understand it. I thought you should know.” 

“No, yeah,” Tony agreed. “We, thanks. It’s nice to know that there’s someone who gets the whole Odinson thing. Even if our spouses don’t always get along.” It was weird to call Loki his spouse, but he would be, wouldn’t he? And that got right to the point he was trying to make. 

Jane directed one of the brightest smiles towards him he’d seen, except for maybe the time he’d gotten her in to see the large hadron collider. 

“Maybe we can help each other pull them apart if we ever need to,” Tony joked. 

Jane smiled back at him. “Let’s hope it never comes down to that.” 

“Fair warning, I think it’d be more on you,” Tony said. Loki had a protective streak towards her a mile wide, and surely Thor would come to his senses if his short, spirited wife jumped in. “They wouldn’t listen to me like they’d listen to you.” 

“You have more arm strength,” Jane said. “I can yell at them while you pull them apart.” 

“I might need to start working out some more then,” Tony said, grimacing. 

“I think you’ll be alright,” Jane reassured him. Tony smiled back at her, feeling relieved to know he had someone else in his corner. 

Jane slipped off the barstool. “They’re probably wondering where we are,” she said. She picked up two of the glasses to carry. 

Tony had made an extra for Loki, figuring he’d change his mind once he saw them. That, or there’d be two for Tony. “Nah,” he said. “Loki’s probably used up all of the memory on his phone getting pictures of her swim.” 

“Probably,” Jane answered, seeming perfectly pleased with that. 

 

Tony was content to float around the pool with a margarita in hand, and not so surprisingly, Loki accepted the extra Tony offered him. It didn’t feel like it was that long before Azalea needed nap time and Thor and Jane hung out for a little while before taking her home. Tony emptied what was left in the blender into his glass, intent on making it back out to the pool to kill the rest of the afternoon. “You aren’t leaving that blender like that all day,” Loki said behind him. 

“I’ll clean it later,” Tony said. 

“You always say that,” Loki said, although there wasn’t much of a bite to it. He sighed, pulling open the fridge door. 

“Come back outside with me,” Tony said. 

Loki pulled a soda out of the back of the fridge, clasping the bottle’s neck between his fingers. He brushed his thumb over the label. “Okay.” 

Tony grabbed a bag of chips, the plastic crunching between his fingers in a satisfying way. “Meet you out there,” he said. 

 

Tony heard the door slide open, but he didn’t open his eyes. His sunglasses were probably going to leave tan lines on his face. Loki’s footsteps pattered until the metal legs of a pool chair scrapped against the concrete. Tony heard a few things set against a table and assumed it was food. When he opened his eyes, Loki was in the shade, green tinted sunglasses on as he ate nachos. 

“Did you bring me some?” Tony asked. 

Loki pointed to the bag of chips Tony had left on the table. “That’s not the same,” Tony said. “You didn’t make those.” 

“The microwave made these,” Loki answered. Tony sat up, the warm plastic of the raft peeling back from his skin. He could hear the nachos crunching in Loki’s mouth, even though the raft had drifted out to the middle of the pool. Loki’s legs were crossed at his ankles, and he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world as he ate, presumably watching Tony beneath the tinted shades. 

Cool water rushed over Tony’s hips as he shifted on the raft, dropping his legs down the sides. It was fucking hot and he’d gone through all of his margarita already. Tony started to paddle back towards Loki. 

“Get your own,” Loki warned him. 

“But I want those,” Tony said, catching onto the side of the pool. Less gracefully than he would’ve liked, he clambered off the raft and onto the concrete. Loki held the half empty plate to his chest. “Please?” 

Water pooled on the ground beneath Tony as he approached Loki, hopeful. “Earn it,” Loki decided. 

Tony tilted his head to the side, trying to see past the reflection on Loki’s sunglasses to get a better read on his face. A slow, impish smirk curled up on Loki’s lips. “And how would I do that?” Tony asked. 

Loki deliberately took his time eating another nacho, wiping his thumb against his bottom lip as if to savor a bit of cheese. “Impress me.” 

“Impress you,” Tony said flatly. 

Tony set his hands on his hips. The nachos were mostly gone, but Tony hadn’t really cared about them to start with. He tried to stare Loki down. It was hard, considering that neither of them could see the other’s eyes that well with their shades on. 

“Haven’t you been asking to be my pool boy?” Loki asked, voice high and lofty. 

“Your pool boy?” Tony asked. “I said you could be mine, not the other way around.” 

Loki hummed, holding up a chip between his thumb and pointer. He twirled it before taking a sinful bite. Asshole. “You don’t even want to get in the water,” Tony said. 

Loki’s smile faltered. He set the plate of chips on the table, pushing them in Tony’s direction. Tony stared at them, knowing that something had gone wrong, but not what or why. Loki set his hands in his lap, the playfulness gone even as his voice softly offered, “Maybe we should just play games inside.” 

“No, outside is good,” Tony said. “I mean, I, I can be the pool boy if you don’t critique the way I clean things.” Because Loki did that anyway, and Tony didn’t get off on having how he’d missed huge spots pointed out to him. 

“Do I do that?” Loki asked, and Tony couldn’t tell if he was being facetious or serious. 

“All the time, asshole,” Tony said, grinning before he stole one of the last chips from Loki’s plate. 

Loki crossed his arms. “I thought you were supposed to earn those.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, taking what was left of them and shoving them in his mouth. He chewed, obnoxious, until he was certain that Loki was amused by him. “So. I will be the delightful young pool boy that was just hired,” Tony said, wiping crumbs off his lips. “And you can be the rich old husband that’s tempted to stray from his confining marriage.” 

Loki scoffed. “I’m pretty sure the rich old husband would just cheat.” 

“Well pretend that he’s really conflicted about it,” Tony said. “Like he wants to, but he wants plausible deniability.” 

“Is he a lawyer?” 

“Yes,” Tony answered just to make things simple, because Loki always had to make a damn character study out of things. “And the pool boy is onto his game and totally wants him even though he pretends not to know.” 

“Even though he’s an old man?” Loki asked. “How rich and how old is he?” 

“He’s not on a ventilator, which I _know_ is what you’re insinuating,” Tony said. “Just. Play along with it, alright? And since you don’t want to swim, I won’t pull you in. The pool is lava.” 

Loki broke into a surprised laugh. “The pool is lava,” he echoed. 

“Yeah. Where’s the leaf skimmer?” Loki sat up, looking for it just as Tony spotted it. He did a light jog over to grab it before returning to Loki’s side. He brandished the skimmer like a weapon. “And no giving me shit about how I clean.” 

“Noted,” Loki said. 

“Start?” Tony asked. 

“Yeah.” 

Tony leaned back, letting the net of the leaf skimmer drag across the ground before he approached the pool. 

It was fucking spotless and the automatic cleaner did its job the way he’d designed it, but he pretended that there were leaves. Tony dragged the wand across the surface of the water, rocking his hips in the motion. 

He was deliberately not facing Loki, because the moment he’d said start, he’d felt a nervous twang. It was awkward, like they were finding their footing again, and Tony didn't know what to expect. “Mr. Stark,” he heard behind him, in Loki’s clear, smooth voice. 

Tony turned around with coy hesitation and an honest jump in his pulse. Loki sipped from his soda bottle like he had all of the time in the world. “It is unseasonably warm today.” The glass tapped the table as he set the bottle down. “If you feel the need to shed an extra layer, I will not be offended.” 

Tony grinned, letting the leaf skimmer pole fall beside him. Slowly, he peeled his swim trunks down, stepping out of them. Then he bent down and picked up the pole, leaning against it as he let his lustful gaze fall on Loki. “I still feel hot.” 

“The chill of the pool will help with that,” Loki answered. Tony balked at him, then tried to reel it in. He took a few steps around the pool, sincerely wondering if Loki had seen leaves there he hadn’t. Tony drew up the net, letting beads of water hit his chest and roll down his tan skin. 

He felt Loki’s gaze on him and the first stir of arousal at the thought. “Mister?” Tony paused. “I want to reach the bottom of the pool, but this doesn’t go deep enough. Do you have anything that can go deeper?” 

“I might.” He thought that Loki was holding back a laugh, but he was doing it well enough that Tony couldn’t question it. 

“You might?” Tony took a step towards his chair, allowing the skimmer to fall and hit the ground. Suddenly, he was aware of the weight of his balls as they brushed against his thigh. “I want to make sure I do a good job.” 

Loki let his legs fall open, his hands still at his sides. “I have another job for you,” he said. Tony walked up beside him. “I wouldn’t want you to suffer.” 

“What do you mean?” Tony asked, leaning in slightly. He felt ridiculous, but it kind of helped that it was supposed to be a ridiculous game. Tony didn’t want to be just himself right now for some reason. The playfulness of it being fake was comforting in its own odd way.

Loki’s hand reached out, a single finger grazing the underside of his half hard dick. “I can relieve you.” He licked his lips. “So that you can finish cleaning the pool without being…distracted.” 

“If you think it’d help me do a better job,” Tony answered, swaying into Loki’s touch, encouraging him. 

An unsure twang struck his stomach. It’d been a while since they’d done something like this. “Sit here,” Loki told him. 

And then Tony had a thought. “Do you think I can get sunburnt on my dick?” He worried aloud, breaking character. 

Loki almost laughed, balking and astonished, before he caught himself. Instead, he mustered his voice into a sincere, “I don’t know. Probably. It’s skin, isn’t it?” Tony gave him a panicked look. “You’ve barely had your pants off, you’re fine.” 

Tony sunk down onto the chair between Loki’s legs, leaving some distance between them. 

“I’ll cover it with my hand,” Loki offered, forced to scoot forward on the chair so that he could actually reach Tony. 

“Is that part of the scene?” Tony asked. 

“No,” Loki said. He was angled just right so that Tony could see past his lenses, to the amused but slightly condescending eyes staring down at him. 

When his fingers wrapped around Tony, he reflexively wanted to arch into the motion, to feel Loki want him again. “What if I get burnt?” He blurted. 

“We’re in the shade,” Loki answered. He studied Tony for a moment before leaning in, pressing his lips to Tony’s and coaxing them open with a slow tongue as his hand curled around Tony. For a moment, Tony moaned, lost in the tender warmth that crawled into him. His hand set against Loki’s bare chest, finding familiarity as those fingers tugged. Then it was too much. Too too too much. 

Tony broke away, lips slick with spit. He wiped the back of his hand over them repeatedly. “I feel burnt,” he said. Tony stood up, quickly making his way to put his swim trunks back on. When he turned around, Loki was gathering the plates they’d brought out. 

Immediately, Tony felt horrible. Guilty. He’d wanted to do this. He wanted to make it right again. “We can try inside,” Tony offered, a weight lurching against his chest as he said it. 

“You know Tony,” Loki said softly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

The rejection stung. “Why not?” He demanded. 

“It’s hot,” Loki said. “I think we’re dehydrated,” he added, starting for the door. 

“So?” Tony asked, following him inside, crowding him. 

Loki pushed his sunglasses back onto his head and stared at Tony without them, standing still. “No,” he said firmly. 

“Why?” Tony answered, aware that his voice sounded desperate, but unable to stop himself while the fear of rejection beat in his chest like the wings of a frantic bird. 

“Because,” Loki said. The plates rattled as they leaned against Loki’s chest. “You don’t feel comfortable and I’m not in the mood.” Loki started towards the kitchen again, Tony at his heels. 

“I’m perfectly comfortable,” Tony said. 

Loki frowned, shaking his head. “When did I say I wasn’t?” Tony asked. “Lo, I’m fine. I’m fine!” 

Loki methodically set the plates in the dishwasher, sighing as he shut its door. “Fine,” he said. “If I misread you, then fine. I’m still not in the mood.” Tony wrapped his arms around his chest, cursing the air conditioner. “It doesn’t mean we can’t hang out right now,” Loki said. “Just—not sex.” He set a hand on Tony’s shoulder, and instantly, Tony was screaming at himself for not drawing that hand in when he’d had the chance. “I’m going to go change clothes.” 

“I—okay,” Tony said. A sympathetic smile crossed Loki’s lips before his hand slid away. Tony couldn’t really argue with what he’d just said. 

And Tony felt relieved when he recognized that Loki meant it. 

Why was he a fucking weirdo that felt relieved to not be having sex with the man he’d been wanting to have sex with all week? Slowly, he came back to his senses. He followed Loki up the stairs, changing his clothes too. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Loki asked casually, pulling a shirt over his head. Like Tony wasn’t being strange. Like this whole—whatever—wasn’t off center. 

“Sure.” 

Tony dragged as they went downstairs, and sulked as he sat down on the couch. It was only when Loki settled down beside him and relaxed, selecting something to watch and drinking a soda like he was oblivious to what was going on inside Tony’s head, that he felt at ease. Free to think. Fine. Okay. So the pool thing hadn’t worked out. 

Tony didn’t know why he’d gotten overwhelmed, but sitting here with Loki acting calm about it and things seeming normal, Tony felt relieved. Thankful. There wasn’t any pressure to figure it out. He was glad Loki hadn’t pushed. That he was still here, hanging out.

Fuck. Thank all for Loki. Tony didn’t think any of his past partners would’ve recognized something like that in him and called it off if Tony had said he was willing. Not that Tony expected him to be a mindreader, it was just. He stared at Loki, wondering if Loki knew how grateful he felt for him sometimes. How fucking lucky he felt. How much he loved his perfectionistic badass, clean streak and all suddenly. 

Tony reached across the space between them and slipped his hand into Loki’s. Loki’s eyes widened, surprised, then flickered to Tony. Tony stared straight ahead at the TV. 

Loki’s fingers slid into the empty spaces between Tony’s, his grip tightening. 

Comfort sunk into Tony, but this time he didn’t panic. He actually watched the damn movie. It was fairly good.


	12. Chapter 12

Loki walked into the front hall, carrying a small stack of cobalt colored envelopes. He paused in the center of the floor, withdrawing the one from the top of the stack. 

The golden calligraphy ink caught the light, illuminating his parents’ names. 

Loki watched the gleam shift back and forth. 

He hadn’t heard from them, but Tony had brought up wanting to set a wedding date at their last session, and Loki knew he had a point. They’d chosen the end of the summer, and that wasn’t so far off. 

There was a white flower on the stamp, maybe a lily or an orchid. Loki’s name was beside Tony’s in the return address. He stared at the envelope. Loki wanted to mail it with the rest. He did. 

But he didn’t. 

“What’s wrong Lo?” 

Loki startled at the soft voice behind him, whipping his head around to see Tony and the door to the lab cracked open behind him. Worry lines creased Tony’s brow as he stopped beside Loki, leaning his weight into one hip. “Nothing,” Loki said quickly. “I just need to stick these in the mail.” 

Tony’s gaze dropped to Loki’s hands, and Loki knew from Tony’s expression alone that he’d read the first one. “It’s your choice,” Tony reminded him. 

“I know.” Except if he let his parents come without an apology, he wouldn’t be okay with that. He wouldn’t do that to Tony. But as shitty as they’d been, a part of Loki still wanted them there. “I was thinking of going over to see my mother,” Loki said, tapping the corner of the envelope against the side of his chin, pretending to be absentminded. 

“To confront her?” Tony asked, trying so damn hard not to show how worked up it made him that Loki felt sorry for him. 

“To talk to her about it,” Loki answered. 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “Then I want to come with you,” Tony said. Loki knew why. 

And he didn’t think that Tony’s presence would help, as much as Tony wanted it to. It’d only aggravate things. Fuck, that was sad. It was so fucking sad that he had to think about his family like this. “Or I’ll call,” Loki said loftily. “I’m going to go drop these in the mailbox.” 

Loki started for the door, acting as casual as he could. Tony didn’t call after him, so he figured that he was in the clear. He stepped outside, letting the door fall shut behind him. It was sunny. A breeze blew against Loki’s back, sneaking up under his thin shirt and whipping it in the wind. Loki pried open the metal mailbox and set the neat stack inside. He withdrew the one meant for his parents. 

When Loki opened the front door, Tony was still standing there. Startled, Loki hid the envelope behind his thigh. “I’m going to go call her,” he smiled at Tony. Tony nodded, weary. Loki headed up the stairs alone. He shut the door to his room. 

“Mum?” 

“Loki, dear. How are you?” She’d picked up on the first ring. Loki pressed the phone closer to his cheek. “I’m glad to hear from you.” 

Loki smoothed his jeans down against his thigh. “I have the wedding invitation for you and Dad.” 

“Oh! That’s wonderful, dear.” Loki set it down on his desk, staring distantly at the gold ink. “Are you going to bring it by the house?” 

Loki sat down in his desk chair. He pulled his feet up onto the edge of it, still staring at the letter. “I’d like to,” he said. 

“We’re here now,” his mother said. She sounded happy, delighted even. “And I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon, or you can drop it off in the evening anytime this week.” 

“You still haven’t apologized,” Loki said, voice stiff and bitter. 

There was no immediate reply. Just silence. Loki glanced towards the door. A shadow moved in the crack between the door and the floor. He figured Tony was on the other side. Loki let out a sigh. Tony was nervous. He’d let it go. It wasn't worth chewing him out over. 

“Loki,” his mother said. “You know our feelings on the matter.” 

“And you know mine,” Loki answered before she could add anything else. 

“Yes,” she said. “But—”

“No,” Loki snapped. “There’s no argument. You either apologize and come and support me, or you don’t come at all.” He couldn’t do this shit anymore. 

He and Tony had been so frayed the last few weeks, and it wasn’t fair. 

“You don’t get to tell me who I marry,” Loki told her. “So you can either apologize to my fiancé for being completely out of line, or not. We’re having the wedding either way.” He tapped his fingers against the desk. “So decide if you want to be there.” 

“Loki,” his mother said, and he could not for the life of him read into how she said his name. She paused. He didn’t make a move to fill the silence. “Of course we want to be there, darling. But this apology to Tony that you’re worked up about is unwarranted, Loki. I do not believe your father’s will is going to change—”

“No,” Loki said. “Don’t act like it’s just Dad. It’s you too.” 

“Loki, don’t be unreasonable.” 

“I’m not!” He stared down at the letter, wondering suddenly why he was trying so fucking hard. What did it even fucking matter? 

He barely heard his mother’s words. “Would you truly not invite us—”

“—Yes!” Loki cut her off. “I would!” 

“Are we not your parents—”

“—You are! And that’s even more reason why you should want to be there!” If Tony was listening on the other side of the door, Loki hoped that he was proud. He’d just parroted what Tony and their therapist had been saying about how his parents should want to support him. “This is what I’ve decided to do.” He’d already been imagining the future. He couldn’t take fucking years of this from them. He couldn't take jabs at every family function because they didn’t like who he’d married. “So you decide what you’re going to do.” 

“Loki—”

“Goodbye.” He hung up. Snatching the envelope between two fingers, he held it up in front of him. He admired the golden scroll he’d picked out with Tony before chucking it across the room. The envelope smacked into the wall, falling to the ground like a dead moth a split second before Tony pushed open the door. 

“Hey. Babe—” Tony started, walking into the room.

Loki pressed his fingertips into the center of his forehead, just above his nose. “Tony. I’m fine,” he insisted, too harsh. Immediately, he pulled back. He dropped his hand and forced on a soft smile that was cagey and tight. “Nothing new has been said.” Tony sat down on the arm of the couch, crossed arms over his chest, disbelief blatant. “There’s nothing to worry about,” Loki said as sweetly as he fucking could. 

He wanted to be pissed off, not reassuring Tony. Fuck. He just wanted to be pissed off in peace. 

Tony’s lips pulled back in an unhappy twitch to one side. “So you’re good then?” His voice sounded normal, but there was a biting sarcasm in his eyes that hit its mark in Loki. “You were just yelling at your mother as a bit of family fun?” He shrugged his shoulders. 

Loki sneered at him. “Why can’t you just let it go?” 

“Because I’m trying here, Lo.” 

Loki set his jaw, looking away. 

When Loki glanced back, Tony was staring at the far wall, silently pissed off. Loki drew in a slow, shaky breath past his lips. “Tony, you can’t do anything about what my parents decide, or any of their shit,” Loki reminded him. “Stop working yourself up over it.” 

Tony uncrossed his legs, eyes darting to Loki with the start of an unhappy smile dashing across his lips. “How can I not be?” 

What? Loki’s shoulders sank. 

“You say that it’s fine, but it’s not. Don’t insult our intelligence. We both know it’s not,” Tony said. “I know I don’t have any control over what your parents do. I’m not getting worked up over that,” Tony said. He scratched the tips of his fingernails against the perfectly defined edges of his beard, his expression sharp and strained. 

Loki set his arm along the back of his chair, trying to think ahead of Tony. 

“You know,” Tony said. “You told me the other night that you got that I was upset about the way that they were affecting you, not upset about what they were doing and me, but now we’re having the exact same conversation.” Loki rubbed his nose, recalling their session. Well, sometimes things made sense in that room for an hour and when he walked out the real world was back and beyond his control. He scratched at the cracks in the wooden chair’s varnish. 

“I’m sorry that you feel bad about it, but I can’t do anything about it,” Loki said, picking glossy flakes from the wood grain. He heard Tony’s groan of frustration but didn’t look up. “I wish you’d let this go instead of making an issue over one phone call.” Tony didn’t need to run to his rescue every time. Tony didn't need to stress himself out over it. Loki hated that Tony was getting worked up over his fucking parents. 

“Why can’t you just say it sucks?” Tony asked, patience gone. “Why can’t you just say it sucks and let it be that instead of telling me it’s fine?!” 

“Because it does!” Loki glowered at him, wondering how he could get it into Tony’s precious head. “It sucks! Just let it go, Tony!” 

“I hate it when you do that!” Tony started to stand from the armrest and then fell down on it against, recrossing his arms. He spoke towards the floor in an exhausted flurry. “You’re pushing me out when I’m trying to help you, and I’ve worked in the lab, and I’ve gone for runs, and I’ve burned through every piece of paperwork I have, and I still can’t stand it. I know it’s eating at you,” Tony shouted, holding one arm out emphatically to the side. “Why won’t you let me help you?” 

“Because you can’t,” Loki shouted back, sympathy punctuating his words. “I get that you’re trying, Tony. I do. I appreciate that, but you can’t do a fucking thing about it. I wish you’d stop working yourself up when you could just let shit like this phone call go. I don't want you to be upset over it. Just let me be pissed, alright? I can deal with it.” 

Tony’s rage bottomed out, leaving in its place a crushing vulnerability that hurt to look at. “That’s ignoring you,” Tony said, voice hardly above a whisper. 

Loki’s eyebrows bowed in sympathy. “No. It’s not.” He blinked rapidly, cramming down his frustration. “Tony. I’m tired of having this conversation. I’m tired of getting us both worked up over it.” He shook his head slightly, biting his bottom lip. “That’s why I’d rather just let it be. I can handle being upset over them. It’ll pass. You don’t have to _do_ anything.” 

“You don’t want me to,” Tony said.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to, Tony. It’s that you can’t,” Loki said. “You can’t.” A blush had crawled beneath Tony’s cheeks, and he wasn’t making eye contact. “Tony, I get that you don’t like seeing me upset.” He tilted his head to the side for a moment. “I love you for that,” he quietly admitted. “But I don’t think it’s helping either of us to keep having this conversation. I’m sorry that my parents are assholes and this whole thing fucking sucks.” He didn’t know why the wind dropped from his sails so suddenly, but it did. “Can we just stop arguing about it?” 

“I can’t,” Tony said. He licked his bottom lip, staring at the ceiling. Loki couldn’t tell if he was on the verge of a panic attack or not, but the sudden recognition set him on edge. “I can’t. I feel like you’ve been so stressed since we told them and therapy hasn’t helped and I hate us dancing around each other like this, Lo. I—what am I supposed to _do_ , Lo?” 

Nothing. He could do nothing. Loki cradled the back of his own skull, circling his fingertips against his scalp. He didn’t know how he could get that through to Tony. 

“Do you want to just call it off for a while?” Tony asked. Loki went still, cold. “Maybe we’re rushing it. Maybe we should push back the date, most people, they have like a year or two, right? Would that work? Like, more time, maybe?” 

Loki stared at him. He didn’t move. Tony wanted to call it off. 

Immediately, pressure struck his eyes. Heat. The the first tears slipped down his face. He scrambled for the first response he could, throat tight. “I put the invitations in the mail.” 

Tony rushed forward. “Oh, no, hey. Hey,” Tony said, starting to panic. “If you want to keep the same date, we can. We can.” 

“You don’t want to get married—”

“Woah. Hey, not what I’m saying. Not what I’m saying.” Tony’s hands settled around his shoulders. “I was just saying move the date, give ourselves some more time, if that would help. If we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves—” His words jumbled together as Loki’s face crumpled. He couldn’t move any of his limbs. “Woah. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

Tony’s forehead smacked into his. Loki blinked, finding he could move his arms a little. He felt the pressure of Tony’s forehead against his, grip tight on his shoulders. “I didn’t mean it like that,” Tony promised quietly. “I’m sorry, Lo.” 

Loki blinked, heat tracing down his cheeks. 

“Of course I want to marry you,” Tony said. “Okay? I just thought the pressure of it being so close was making it worse, and I’m tired of us being like this, so giving more time—”

“—would make it worse,” Loki interrupted petulantly, voice breaking. 

When he glanced up, he realized that the eyes staring into his own were watery and red too.

“It’s the planning, and the—” Loki huffed out a breath, fervently hoping in the same moment that Tony wouldn’t let go of him. 

“I thought you enjoyed planning, Lo.” Tony spoke, soft and low. “You were so excited to pick things out.” 

“I was,” Loki said. “But it’s—I’d rather just get married now,” he blurted out honestly. “I want to get married, and the pageantry of it—I just—I just feel like it’s making it worse,” Loki said. 

He didn’t know if he’d regret not picking out flowers and wedding favors and tablecloths and shit. But it’d all started feeling like an obstacle, blocking him from what he wanted. Which was Tony. It was always Tony. 

Tony’s hands didn’t leave him, but he pulled back just enough for Loki to really get a look at the crazed, bright look in Tony’s eyes. “Then let’s do it. Let’s get married.” 

Loki stared at him, dumbstruck. “Right now?” 

“Hey. We said it when we started dating,” Tony said. “We’re not the dozen red roses and bullshit type.” 

Loki blinked, suddenly calm, tears finished. “I’d at least like a cake,” he breathed out. 

“The grocery store’s open,” Tony said, fingers kneading Loki’s shoulders. 

Loki’s tense cheeks pulled into a smile. “A good one,” he corrected Tony. “One that’s not thawing from a freezer with sweaty icing.” 

Tony beamed back at him. “So do you have all the supplies we need in the kitchen, or do we need to make a trip to that fancy restaurant store now?” 

Loki stared at Tony, wondering if he was being serious or not. Fuck it was infectious. He wanted to get swept away in the spontaneity Tony had and he lacked. Yes. He wanted to. Of course. Thank fuck for Tony, he wanted to. 

“I’ve got everything,” Loki said. “But if we start now, it probably won’t be done until three in the morning.” 

“Great. We’ll have enough time to tell everyone to come,” Tony said. 

Loki stared at Tony, bright eyed and breathless, his chest swelling with affection. “Okay,” he breathed. 

Tony grinned. “Let’s make that cake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thoughts/reactions/analysis are always welcome. :)


	13. Chapter 13

Loki spun back around as Tony entered the kitchen, carrying the invitations he’d just retrieved from the mailbox. 

Loki set his hands on his hips and stared at Tony with bright green eyes, his ponytail low and hastily pulled to the side in a mess of black strands. Tony found a smile of endearment nudging its way onto his face. “Put your apron on,” Loki said. 

“You know I’m not a fan of putting clothes on,” Tony replied, dropping the stack onto the table. He sidestepped the gag gift apron that was technically his, opting to steal one of Loki’s instead. Tony smiled to himself like he was getting away with something as he tied it on. “Is there anything you need me to get out?” 

The countertop was loaded with ingredients already. Mixing bowls clattered as Loki fished through a stack of them in his arms. “Grab the pink champagne and the bottle of rum that has the gold cap on it.” 

“What flavor is the cake going to be?” 

Loki grinned, setting a large stainless steel bowl down. “We’re making a raspberry champagne cake, a spiced hot chocolate cake, and a chocolate rum cake.” He stared at Tony with the same pleasure, almost waiting for approval. 

“That’s… a lot of cakes,” Tony said. “I thought we only needed one?” 

“It’s three tiers,” Loki informed him. 

Tony nodded, still thinking. “Babe. It’s just our friends coming. Do we need that much cake?” He was imagining something massive and ornate, and he wouldn’t put that past Loki. At all.

Loki smirked, leaning over the counter towards him. “Tony,” he said sweetly. There was a mischievous spark in his eyes and Tony just knew that whatever was about to be said was going to be at his expense. “Are you telling me that if we have left over cake, it’ll go to waste?” 

Tony nodded his head to the side as if to allow the point. “And Thor’s coming,” Loki added bluntly. Tony breathed out a laugh before shooting an admonishing look at him, eyes wide. Loki shrugged, turning around to fetch something from a cabinet. 

Tony went to grab the items Loki had requested, deciding to take a back seat to whatever Loki was making. He knew it would taste good no matter what, and he enjoyed Loki being excited about it. Tony found the bottles and set them on the counter, walking back to the table for his phone. “That’s everything,” Loki said. 

There was an odd inflection in his tone that made Tony look back over his shoulder. Loki was staring at the mixing bowl, the frenzied rush gone. His eyes flickered to Tony and settled, a worried crease in his brow. “Are we—really doing this?” He asked Tony, almost breathless. 

Tony picked the stack of invitations up off the table and walked over to the trashcan. He held them out over the bin, eyes set on Loki. There was no cry to stop, no argument made. Loki watched him like he was holding his breath, one uncertain hand at his chest. Tony dropped them. 

They hit the trash with a dull thud. 

Loki broke into a huge smile. “We’re doing this,” he said, half question, half excited. 

Tony came over, sneaking his hand in around Loki’s waist. “We are,” he said, leaning his hips forward. He would’ve happily turned it into a kiss, or hell, just some hands on him would’ve been nice, but he saw himself in Loki and knew Loki’s mind was racing like one of his own lab moments. “You tell me where to start.” 

“Here,” Loki said, hurrying to direct him towards ingredients. 

 

As it turned out, making a wedding cake was a lot of fucking work. It was only when the first layer had gone in the oven that Tony had time to think and be practical. “We still need to text everyone,” Tony said. Loki paused for a moment at the mixer. “What time should we tell them?” 

“This is going to take all night,” Loki said. “If we want to sleep, it needs to be later in the day.” 

“Yeah, I’m definitely sleeping in,” Tony said. He pulled up his contacts list. “What if we got up at noon, ran out and got some decorations, came back here, threw on suits, and had everyone over?” 

Loki grabbed a bottle of extract. He spoke as he worked. “Where should we have it?”

“Out by the pool,” Tony said. “It’s already got a lighting system rigged up and we could put floating candles on the water for the reception.” 

A tiny smirk appeared on Loki’s lips. “How romantic.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen it done at events lots of times,” he said. Loki hummed skeptically, but Tony wasn’t phased. 

Loki turned the standing mixer on to a soft hum. “Have them come over about an hour before sunset so that the photos will have good lighting, and then the candles will be on the pool as it gets dark.”

Tony’s thumb froze mid-typing. “Oh look who’s being _romantic_ now,” he said. Loki primly moved a spatula, pleased with himself. “We need a photographer,” Tony thought aloud. “Steve takes photos. Or we can just ask everyone to share the pictures they take. And maybe make sure someone has a good camera. That works,” Tony decided. “Any preference for if Sam or Clint officiates?” 

Loki almost dropped the spatula. “You have two friends that can marry people off and I’m only hearing about it now? I thought we were just going to hire someone.” 

Tony shrugged. “I was going to hire someone so that they could sit back and enjoy the wedding, but we’re not going to find anyone last minute,” Tony explained. “Don’t worry, they’ll love doing it,” he assured Loki as his fiancé started to get that uncertain look. 

“But why is that something they can both do?” Loki asked, slightly exasperated like Tony hadn’t been listening. He looked up from his phone. 

“Sam married off two of his buddies when he was in the air force and Clint has a really weird backstory,” Tony said. “Being able to marry people off is nothing next to his years in the circus.” Tony waved his hand dismissively, hoping as he hit Happy’s name that it wouldn’t be too last minute for him to come. 

“I don’t have a preference,” Loki said. 

“I think I’m going to let them arm wrestle for it,” Tony said. “I’ll text them together.” Tony sank down onto a barstool. “Do you want to text Thor, or should I?” 

“I will,” Loki said quickly. For a moment they were both silent, typing away. When Tony finished, he looked up to find Loki smirking at his phone. Instantly, Tony was suspicious. 

“What did you do?” 

“Nothing,” Loki said, only guiltier. 

“Let me see,” Tony said. Loki didn’t move. Tony pouted, drawing his bottom lip up. Loki sighed, drawing the phone back out and handing it over. 

The invite was perfectly normal, it was the _Don’t tell Mum and Dad or else._ followed by three devil emojis and a knife that made Tony’s eyebrows rise. “Loki,” Tony said, trying not to laugh. 

“I want him to know I’m serious.” 

Tony let his weight fall back against the barstool just as his text notification sounded. “Why don’t you ever send me emojis like that?” 

“You want me to send you vaguely threatening emojis?” Loki asked. “I’m certain that I already do.” 

Tony didn’t have a smart response to that, so he read his text. “It’s Happy. He asks why he’s not surprised and then said he’ll be there but expect a late wedding gift.” 

“He doesn’t have to get anything for us,” Loki said, tapping a measuring cup full of flour against the container.

“Don’t tell him that,” Tony said. “It’ll only piss him off.” Loki moved down the counter just as Tony processed the fact that Loki really wasn’t telling his parents. “You’re okay with them not coming?” Tony asked, though it sounded mostly like a statement. Loki took a deep breath that came out as a slow sigh. 

“I like this better,” Loki said. “And—I don’t think I was ever going to get that apology.” 

“Probably not,” Tony said, frowning. His phone chimed. “Natasha said about time and that she’d be there.” Tony stared at it. “Why’d she say about time? Did she know we were going to do this?” 

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Loki said. “Here, grab another egg out of the fridge.” Tony got up just as a text sounded, then another, and by the time he’d gotten Loki’s egg his phone had blown up. 

“Clint and Sam are fighting over it,” Tony said. He scanned the banter back and forth, noting that they’d gotten a few good ones in on each other. He passed the phone over for Loki to see. 

Loki read it for a moment before saying, “Why can’t they both do it?” 

Tony hadn’t thought of that. “Can they do that?” 

Loki paused, staring at Tony like he should already know the answer. “Sure. Why the hell not?” He twirled the spatula in his hand. “Who’s going to stop us?” 

Tony texted back, _you’re both officiating. Loki said so._

As more notifications sounded, Tony didn’t have to look at them to see Sam and Clint bickering over who got to say what. Loki put him back to work on one of the cakes, and the smell of the one in the oven made Tony’s mouth water. 

“Thor and Jane will be there,” Loki said, checking his phone. 

“What’d they say?” 

“I’m pretty sure Jane got the message I sent first because Thor texted back after her. He just said okay and they’ll be there.” He directed Tony to start working on something else.

It was a while before he got a smiley face and a promise to be there from Bruce, and a confirmation from Steve with some awkward greeting card like congratulations. 

Tony yawned, glancing at the clock. They’d been at it for a few hours. Tony slumped down onto one of the barstools. Loki was reading through a recipe, pursing his lips. 

Tony smiled like a sap, the feeling soft and warm in his chest. 

Loki was wearing a green apron over a thin, white cotton t-shirt with some sort of dragon or snake on it and pirate-like script that disappeared beneath the apron. There was a splash of flour right at his waist and a thin line across his cheekbone. He bit his bottom lip as he read. 

Tony just felt so goddamned relieved to be here doing this. And tired. But mostly, content. He loved Loki, probably more than anyone he had in his entire life. 

Unbidden, Tony felt a familiar, appreciative stir down in his groin. He glanced at the oven. That cake had some time longer to bake, right? Maybe he and Loki could find a distraction? Fuck, he loved the ripped jeans Loki was wearing too. 

Loki drew up a roll of freezer paper, unfurling a long sheet. He had nice arms too. Had Tony ever told him that? Probably. Maybe. 

“Cut these into strips,” Loki said, setting the paper down in front of him. 

“What?” Tony blinked. 

“You need to measure it out and cut it into strips so that we can spread the chocolate over it to make the bow.” Loki nudged it towards him. “You’re going to need to get a ruler.” 

“But that requires getting up,” Tony said. 

“Do you want me to trust you with melting the chocolate?” Loki asked. 

Tony got up to retrieve a ruler from his lab. When he came back he went right to work, accepting soft criticisms and adjustments from Loki without complaint. He’d thought that they’d at least have down time when the cakes were baking, but there was never a spare moment. It was absurd how much work went into the cake. 

Loki showed him how to coat the waxy paper strips with chocolate, and let Tony complain about how hard it was to keep them at just the right temperature to work with. Tony held his breath as Loki curled them into loops, carefully crafting them into a bow of white chocolate that he’d painted gold. 

Tony was diligently stirring a bowl when he heard Loki hiss. “Shit.” Loki was staring at the clock. 

“What’s wrong, babe?” 

“I forgot I’m going to need a dowel.” He wiped his hands off on his apron. “I don’t know what stores are going to be open.” 

“What is it for?” 

Loki shook his head slightly, annoyed. “It’s to support the layers when they’re stacked, I know it’s going to sit in the fridge and it’s not critical, but I want to get that step out of the way so I’m not fucking with it—” Loki ranted, justifying himself. Tony interrupted. 

“Do they have to be a special kind of material?” Loki looked at him, slightly defensive but listening. “Because if they don’t, I have dowels. You just tell me the size and I’ll cut them for you.” 

Loki’s shoulders sank, a slight smile appearing on his lips. “The type doesn’t matter. Usually I insert them into the cake to measure.” 

“Okay,” Tony said, getting up. If there was one thing he had down for this cake, it was this. He grinned at Loki, deciding to tease him. “Did you forget you’re marrying an engineer? I have all sorts of shit in the lab.” 

Loki glanced away from him, but the smile was still there. “Go get them.” 

 

It was closer to two thirty in the morning when they finally finished the cake. The counter was still wrecked with bowls of frosting and ingredients despite Loki’s best efforts to wash dishes as they went along. They’d had to clean out and rearrange the fridge to fit the layers and decorations. The scent of a fresh pot of coffee brewed by Tony hung on the air, overpowering the various baked cake smells. 

“I’ll assemble it and finish decorating it tomorrow,” Loki said, twisting a rag in his hands. 

Tony nodded, not saying anything. Now all they had left to do was clean up. 

They both seemed to realize that at the same time, standing there in exhaustion, not moving. 

It was weird to be working in the kitchen this late at night. Last night he’d gone to bed wondering just how bad things with Loki’s family could get in the weeks leading up to the wedding, and tonight he’d be going to bed and getting married tomorrow. Weird. 

Slowly, Loki turned his head towards Tony and broke the silence. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” His voice was neutral. It was more of a statement than anything, but his green eyes set on Tony with a hint of being impressed, as if Tony were the wild one. Tony basked in it, holding Loki’s gaze too long.

“Everyone’ll be here tomorrow,” Tony said. 

“Yeah.” 

Loki yawned, smoothing down his hair as he did. “Lo,” Tony said. Loki turned to him, and for a moment, Tony saw the entirety of his exhaustion in his eyes, unguarded and spent, and lurking beneath that, a deep, prideful affection towards him that made Tony’s toes curl. He took a few steps towards Loki, closing the gap. “I’m glad we’re doing it this way.” 

“Me too.” Loki laughed suddenly, looking over the kitchen like it was all too much. “We’re _insane_.” 

“Well yeah,” Tony said, catching Loki’s hips as if in doing so he could hold that happiness in his hands. 

There was a wild giddiness that bubbled up in them both, spurred on by late night fatigue and spent adrenaline. 

Loki dropped the rag on the counter behind him. “Your friends are going to tease us about this for years,” Loki said. He wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulder, letting Tony’s forehead drop in close to his. Tony’s eyes were bright, dancing, as Loki spoke. “Thor’s going to say this is so typical of me.” Loki’s other arm slid in around Tony’s shoulders so that he was draped around Tony before any worry about what’d he just said could get through. “I can’t wait.” 

Tony did what he’d wanted to do all night. He leaned in, his lips slotting in over Loki’s warm, soft lips. Immediately, an eager tongue greeted him, and then there was a hand clenching the scruff of hair at the back of his head. Delighted, Tony sank into him. He’d missed this so fucking much. Loki moaned, letting his back press against the countertop and pulling Tony in. 

Tony’s hands snuck up Loki’s back, contentment gushing in as he felt that familiar body press against his, soothing the heartache that’d settled in the last few weeks. Loki’s clever tongue grabbed Tony’s attention, keeping it, the only thought in his mind how wanted he was, how right and at home he was as Loki’s fingers pulled Tony in and didn’t let go. 

“Tony,” Loki breathed. It took him a moment to realize that Loki wanted his attention. His cheeks were burning as he found Loki, as he recognized the heady lust in his expression. Loki was exhausted too, and the dichotomy was peculiar, but Tony didn’t dwell on it. Loki boosted himself up with his arms, jumping back up onto the countertop to sit. One leg swiftly wrapped around Tony, yanking him in. 

Tony knocked over a bowl of flour as he moved to grab Loki’s hip. He paused, remembering how touchy Loki was about his kitchen. “Leave it,” Loki said. Tony didn’t have to be told twice. 

He went for Loki’s neck, sucking at the tender skin there and drawing an unfiltered, loud groan of approval from Loki. His fingers dug into Tony’s shirt, gripping it tight for purchase and drawing Tony in as close as he could possibly be. Tony squeezed Loki’s hips, sinking his fingers in down past his jean’s waistband. Loki’s neck was warm, tinged with salt and the nameless scent that Tony had long since come to recognize as uniquely Loki’s. Tony licked a hot stripe up the column of his throat, tugging the elastic of his ponytail and setting it free, nosing in against Loki’s hair to his ear, breathing in. 

His cock was throbbing, desperate for attention as it strained against his jeans, rutting against the matching bulge pressed against his. Tony clutched the waistband of Loki’s jeans, trying to restrain himself. Loki’s heart pounded against his chest. He held still, compliant, as Tony nibbled the soft shell of his ear. “Tony,” Loki whispered, hips arching into him. 

“I want you right here,” Tony admitted, kissing the soft indent between Loki’s cheekbone and jaw. 

“Okay,” Loki breathed against him. 

It was like they were crashing back into each other after orbiting one another for weeks, and it was overpowering. Tony allowed his rationality to surface for a second. He set his forehead against Loki’s, cradling his head and kneading his thumbs against the soft spots behind Loki’s ears. “Is there anything in here that needs to be refrigerated, because I don’t want to come back down to clean up after we go upstairs,” Tony said, all in one breath. 

“No.” Loki’s arms tightened around Tony’s shoulders. “Let’s do it here,” Loki murmured, pointedly using the leg not already wrapped around him to pull Tony in with a jolt that went straight to Tony’s aching hard on. He shuddered out a breath. 

Tony shifted his hips in an uncomfortable surge of arousal at the thought of bending Loki over the kitchen counter. “Well I kind of want to be in you and the only lube in here is the olive oil,” Tony said, circling his thumbs behind Loki’s ears again and trying to ignore an awkward pang of self-consciousness. 

It took Loki a second to process and respond. “That bottle’s forty five dollars.”

Tony breathed out a laugh. “Didn’t think so.” Loki’s legs started to drop from Tony’s hips. Tony remembered he’d left a bottle of lube in the spare bedroom when he’d been trying out that toy the one time. “Hey,” Tony said. “You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” 

“What?” Loki asked, arms heavy on Tony’s shoulders. 

One hand slid down Loki’s back, his fingers catching against the thin shirt. Burying himself against Loki, Tony spoke into Loki’s neck. “Let me carry you.” 

“What?” Loki leaned back, exposing Tony’s flushed face. 

Tony put on a smile, edging in closer to counter so that their hips would remain together. “ _Bridal style_ ,” Tony said, eyebrows raising in good humor. Immediately, Loki’s expression soured. “Come on,” Tony pleaded. “It’ll be fun. Just once. Let me carry you into one of the spare bedrooms.” 

Loki must’ve been feeling affectionate, because after a moment he rolled his eyes, letting out a very put upon, “Alright.” Tony started to grab him from the counter. “But if you do it at the wedding tomorrow—”

“I won’t, I won’t,” Tony promised, lifting him up. 

It wasn’t exactly easy, considering that Loki was taller, but Tony managed. He smacked Loki’s legs into the kitchen doorframe on accident, but Loki clung to his shoulders tighter after that so Tony considered it a win. He took slower steps as they neared the bedroom, savoring the way Loki let his head fall against him. 

Tony shoved the door open. The room was as perfectly made as always. The bed smelled like laundry detergent. Tony imagined dropping Loki on it and immediately crawling over him, but when the moment came, he simply laid Loki down gently on the edge and kissed the side of his face. Loki gave him a tolerant, if not amused, stare. “Lube’s in the bathroom,” Tony said, quickly disappearing into the adjacent room. Loki’s shirt was on the side of the bed with the rest of his clothes when Tony came back in. 

“Not fair,” he announced, unzipping his pants. “I want to undress you.” 

Loki yawned, covering his mouth and flushed cheekbones with his hand. “Then you should’ve been faster.” Tony kicked off his jeans as he crawled into the bed. Loki’s back hit the mattress. His hands pulled Tony’s tanned shoulders in, drawing Tony down for another kiss. Tony fumbled to remove his remaining clothes as Loki yanked the band of his boxers with an impatient tug. 

“Fuck, Lo,” Tony breathed. The coffee wasn’t keeping him from his own exhaustion, but in a way it felt good to be so strung out. He groaned as Loki’s hand curled around him, tugging with just the right friction. 

“That’s the idea,” Loki muttered back, voice light with unspoken laughter. The lube bottle cracked open with a snap. Loki snatched a pillow for leverage from beneath the pristine outline of the comforter. He let Tony circle his puckered rim a few times, eyes squeezed shut, before rolling away and onto his stomach instead. Loki buried his forehead in against the mattress, whispering out a few reassurances as Tony prepped him with tired, impatient fingers. 

At last, Tony was spreading his cheeks apart, edging the head of his cock inside before sliding in to the accompaniment of Loki’s moan. Fuck he was tight. Loki’s fingers clasped the sheets. Tony brushed his hand against the small of Loki’s back. “Okay?” He asked, breathless. 

“Move,” Loki commanded, clenching around him to make his point, drawing a startled groan out of Tony. 

He startled slowly, hands gripping slender hips, enjoying the way Loki writhed in the sheets with each slow thrust. It’d been a while since they’d done this, and Tony felt a rush. It felt so good to have Loki under him, wanting him. Loki pulled the comforter taut beneath his fingers as his forehead rubbed against the mattress, needy, breathy moans spilling from his lips. Tony started losing himself, picking up speed. Then he realized he wasn’t hearing those sounds anymore. A slight shift, a muffled groan, and he realized Loki was biting the sheets too. 

Tony wedged a hand between Loki and the bed, toying with a nipple before whispering beside his ear. “Get up.” Loki let out a shaky breath as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. 

Tony eased Loki into his lap, kneeling with him, taking hold of Loki’s erection with fingers already slick from lube. Loki arched back against him, breathing heavily. “Lo,” Tony muttered, nosing in against the messy strands of hair, Loki’s scent overpowering. He stroked Loki, enjoying the guttural moan that drew. Loki scrambled for something to hold, his fingers absently clutching for the blanket and leaving pink wakes down his thighs instead as he arched back against Tony. “Lokes,” he mumbled. Tony let his teeth graze Loki’s skin before a lightly biting at the base of his neck, tightening his grip on Loki’s hip. 

Loki groaned, tight heat clenching around Tony. Tony licked the tender spot by his neck, tugging and stroking again. “Please,” Loki breathed out. “Tony, Tony—” Loki gasped. Tony’s thumb toyed at the slit, his other hand holding Loki’s hips as he thrust into him, messy and slow. 

“T-Tony,” Loki whined, voice high-pitched with a single breath. Tony tugged down the weighty length of him, tracing the raised outline of a vein. “Tony—plea—”

Loki came with a sob, spilling over Tony’s hand. Tony kissed up the side of Loki’s neck as Loki caught his breath, limp in Tony’s lap. Fuck, Tony loved him. He loved him so fucking much. When Loki craned his neck, eyes closed and mouth begging for a kiss, Tony happily granted it. After a moment, they broke apart, a meaningful look in Loki’s eyes. 

He pulled out of Tony’s hold, carefully avoiding the wet spot that had found its way onto the bed. He waited on his hands and knees for a heartbeat before Tony took the cue and settled in behind him. 

Tony pushed in slowly, biting his lip and stifling out a cry before just letting go and moaning the way he wanted to. He grabbed Loki’s hips, managing a few quick, hard thrusts before he came, mind blank. He slumped against Loki’s back, burying himself in the sweaty mess of black hair around Loki’s neck. Loki sunk down to the mattress with him. 

They slowly pulled apart before coming right back together, arms enveloping each other as their legs tangled together. 

Loki smoothed down the cowlick in Tony’s rumpled hair, grinning at him. Tony tried to fight off a yawn and failed, absolutely preening in the soft look Loki was giving him. 

Loki yawned too, eyes falling half shut.

Loki’s fingers twirled a lock of Tony’s unruly hair, his eyes following the motion. “Tony,” he said. 

“Hmm?” He asked, trailing one hand along Loki’s spine. 

“I love you.” 

Tony knew that, intellectually he did. But it still felt incredible to hear it, to witness the tender expression in Loki’s often guarded, analytical eyes and feel the affection it was spoken with all the way to his core. He hoped that never got old. 

“I know,” Tony said, wiggling forward just enough to bring their lips together in an exhausted kiss. “I love you too.” 

Loki nudged forward again. Tony let Loki’s tongue softly trace the seam of his lips before allowing him in, Loki’s fingernails drawing slow circles on the back of his head. It was sloppy and tired, but right. 

Too soon, Tony yawned, and Loki let his head drop down on the mattress. “We should probably sleep,” Tony mumbled. “We’re getting married tomorrow.” Excitement struck him when he said it. He couldn’t believe the words were coming out of his mouth. 

Loki’s eyes had fallen shut, but he smiled at what Tony said. “You should carry me back up to our clean bed,” he said, trying to wheedle Tony into it. 

“That was a one time offer,” Tony answered, kissing the tip of Loki’s nose for the hell of it. Fuck. He was so happy. They were getting married. Tomorrow. “I don’t even feel like moving to get cleaned up.” 

Loki let out a petulant groan, but then, ever so slowly, he started to get up. “I’m glad you decided that we’re waking up at noon.” 

“Me too,” Tony said, yawning again. Without Loki’s body heat, he was freezing. He had to sit up. As Loki turned to walk towards the bedroom bathroom, a bead of Tony’s come slipped in an arc down his thigh. Tony held his breath as a spark of arousal struck his worn out body.

“We can’t forget to set an alarm,” Loki said, grabbing the bathroom door handle. 

“I know,” Tony said, pulling himself out of bed. He yawned harder. He could pass out right there. “I know.” 

 

It was a slow, exhausted walk up to their bedroom, but when they tangled back in together under the sheets of their bed, everything was right in Tony’s world.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thoughts/reactions/analysis are welcome. :)
> 
> It may be a bit before the next chapter is posted, but it is outlined and it will get here! :) I'm working extra and job hunting with the intention of moving, but I won't skimp on this, especially since next is the wedding chapter. ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Loki rolled over in bed, wide awake, wondering when the alarm would go off. Tony was still sleeping, and Loki wasn't about to disturb him out of selfish boredom. He’d make sure to let Tony get all the sleep he needed. 

Loki set his hands over his stomach and stared up at the ceiling. It hadn’t taken more than a moment to remember what today was. 

It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that they were doing this. That it was real. That it was happening.

It was just like any other day.

Except that he was excited, and conflicted, and shocked, and amazed, and ready, and twenty other things that he couldn’t begin to break apart. And as soon as that alarm went off, the day would start and it would really _really_ be happening. 

It hurt that his mother wasn’t going to be there. 

Then again, imagining her shattering the soft expression on Tony’s face with a snide remark, or just outright confronting him hurt too. Anger flared up in Loki’s chest with such force that he wanted to cry thinking about it. He wouldn't let them do that to Tony. Tony deserved better. 

If Loki was being honest with himself, he was disappointed that his father wouldn’t be there too, somehow. But he wasn’t being honest about that. Ignoring it was better. Fuck his father. And fuck his mother’s issues too. 

When it really came down to it, he just wanted to be with Tony. It didn’t matter how they felt about it. Loki breathed in slow and deep. Tony was his new family. And while Loki at least had Jane and Thor, Tony’d been alone. It was a relief to know that Tony would officially have family now, even if it was only him. Loki wasn’t sure when or how it’d started to bother him, just that it had. 

The mattress groaned as Tony shifted, but it was minor enough that Loki didn’t look over. He was glad they were doing it this way. A part of him still thought that when Tony woke up, the madness of the feverish night before would be gone and Tony would talk them down from it. Loki fervently hoped not. He let out a sigh as his gaze wandered over the bland white ceiling. There was no way of knowing. 

 

Tony didn’t speak when he woke up. He wanted to study Loki when he thought Tony wasn’t watching. Loki’s hair was tousled to the side, his thumbs on his stomach and passing back and forth over each other. Tony hadn’t come off of the high from last night. If anything, he was more excited. 

He wondered what Loki was thinking so intently about. 

Probably how great the post-wedding sex was going to be. 

Tony knew it was going to be fucking awesome. No pun intended. Ha-ha. 

“Lokes.” Immediately, Loki’s head shifted, his eyes darting to Tony with a hint of surprise. Tony broke into a grin. “Guess what day it is.” 

A sly smile spread across Loki’s lips. “Tuesday.” 

“Nope.” Tony propped himself up onto his elbows. “You didn’t even get the right day of the week. It’s Sunday.” Fuck, he felt happy. “And by the way, I hope you know that you’re going to have to tell your employees that you won’t be in tomorrow.” Loki started to open his mouth. “We’re going to have a good time tonight and you are not going to worry about work in the morning.” Tony left out the _you workaholic_ he was thinking. 

Loki sighed, irritably sinking back down against his pillow. “Fine,” he said after a moment. 

They laid there in silence for a few seconds. “You still haven’t said what day it is,” Tony prompted. 

“Wednesday?” 

“I just told you it was Sunday, smart ass.” Tony rolled onto Loki’s half of the bed. “Lo,” Tony said. He crawled over him, satisfied that Loki’s hands caught his waist. “It’s our wedding day.” For Loki’s feigned stupidity, Tony planted a wet, morning breath laced kiss right on Loki’s lips as revenge. With tongue. The fingers at his waist pinched when Loki caught on. “Ah!” Tony yelped. “You asshole—” Loki laughed as Tony squirmed against him, then went for more revenge kisses. 

Loki’s voice came, a bit preachy. “It’s not that gross, you know—”

“—Really? Because you were bitching up a storm about it the other week—”

“—Only out of a love of bitching—”

“—You can say that again.” Tony stilled, expression going soft and tender as he stared down at Loki. His black curls had haloed on the pillow and around the wrinkles beside his eyes as he smiled at Tony, amused. Loki’s hands fell limp against the bed. 

For a moment Tony thought Loki had a question, but then Loki yawned. “I guess we should get dressed if we want to get to the store for supplies,” Loki said. Tony groaned. “What?” 

“I want to stay in bed and mess around.” 

Loki’s fingers kneaded at Tony’s waist, sending a warmth flush down his back. His eyelids flickered. “We could,” Loki said. “Or we could build up the anticipation.” The way he said it felt like teasing. 

“That’s stupid,” Tony declared, kissing the center of Loki’s forehead. 

Loki’s hips shifted as Tony’s hands started to wander. “It is,” he agreed, letting his head lull to the side for Tony’s lips. 

 

The alarm finally went off, bringing them out of their lazy post-sex tangle in the middle of the bed. Loki sat up first. He already had a list in his head of the things they’d need to get. Tony was slower, rubbing his eyes and stretching even after they were dressed and ready to leave. “I’ll drive,” Loki said as Tony grabbed a travel mug of coffee off the counter. 

“Use my car,” Tony said. 

“We’re going to cram it full of shit,” Loki said. “We’re taking my car.” Tony let out a very put upon sigh but didn't fight him. As Loki drove, Tony napped with his head against the window. 

Once they arrived at the party store, Tony grabbed a cart, jumping up on the back and coasting it through the automatic doors. Loki grabbed the handle as they entered the first aisle. “What do we need first?” Tony asked. 

“Well, we need the floating candles,” Loki said. “And—balloons, I guess.” 

“Let’s get fifty.” 

Loki scoffed at him. “I don’t even know where we’re going to put them.” 

“Everywhere,” Tony said. “We’re going to put them everywhere.” He hopped off the cart and walked ahead of Loki, grabbing several bags of floating candles and dropping them into the cart with a loud smack. “And let’s get some white folding chairs to put out so everyone doesn’t have to sit on our pool furniture.” 

“Do we really need them?” Loki set one hand on his hip. “They’re only going to be sat in once.” 

“It’ll look nicer,” Tony said. “And we need an arch to stand under. Do you think they have one here? We might have to go to the hardware store,” Tony decided. Loki couldn’t figure out how Tony’d suddenly woken up so completely after sleeping in the car. Tony smiled at him, impatient almost. “And we could put the balloons in the living room because people are going to walk inside and it’d be fun.” 

Tony threw a pack of neon plastic sword picks in the cart while Loki was still mulling that over. “What are those for?” Loki asked. 

Tony shrugged. “We might need them.” 

“We are not going to need them,” Loki argued. Tony set a hand on his shoulder. 

“No stressing out over what we buy today,” he said. “That’s the rule.” He said it so fucking calmly and reasonably that Loki felt himself winding down in spite of himself. “And let’s get some gold colored napkins to go with the cake,” Tony said brightly. “And plates. Do you want silver or gold for the plates, Lokes?” 

Loki paused for a moment, then thought about it. “Let’s get the clear square ones that look like actual plates.” 

“Now you’re talking,” Tony said. 

 

They couldn’t get all of the balloons in the car, and forget about seeing out the back window. Tony leaned against his headrest as one of the balloons smacked him in the face. Tony brushed it away. “So we drop these off at home, go to the hardware store for an arch, go to the grocery store and get food, and then pick up the rest of the balloons before going home,” Tony said. 

“Yes,” Loki affirmed. He leaned forward over the steering wheel as he glared at the traffic light. 

Tony was glad that Loki hadn't put up a fight about spending money on supplies. Tony had seen the first flicker of a fit and his own enthusiasm had ground to a halt just imaging how much Loki would stress himself out over it. Tony was determined to keep Loki distracted so that he wouldn’t fixate on the cost. It was working. “I think we should just get pizza or something casual so you don’t have to cook,” Tony said. “I don’t want you to have to cook for everyone.” 

“I won’t have time to anyway,” Loki said. “We could order carryout from somewhere and have it ready to go.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Tony said. “Let’s do that and get whatever else we need at the grocery store while it’s getting ready. I’ll place the order.” 

To his surprise, Loki wasn’t picky about the food. He actually seemed to be enjoying himself as he helped Tony decide how much they were going to need of everything. Tony trailed after Loki with the cart in the grocery store the same way that Loki trailed after him at the hardware store, except that Tony was acting like the devil on Loki’s shoulder and telling him to get more of things and to grab a box of donuts in the bakery section because they _needed_ them. Tony was not denied. 

They drove home a second time, balloons bouncing around against the windows, the pungent smell of garlic heavy on the air from the Italian takeout in the backseat. 

 

Loki tugged at his seatbelt as they pulled into the garage. He wasn’t entirely sure how much faith he put in Tony’s decorating skills. Sure, Tony could make electronic devices and cars in good taste with sleek craftsmanship, but he’d hired a decorator for the house. “I’ll get started on the pool, you start on the cake,” Tony said. 

“Don’t light the candles yet,” Loki said, pulling the keys out of the ignition. “I’ll help you with everything as soon as I’m done.” He started to get out. 

“I can do more than the candles,” Tony said, grabbing a handful of balloons. Loki reached in for the food before following after Tony into the mudroom. The ceiling there was already filled with the first set of balloons. 

“I still don’t think we needed all of these,” Loki said, watching them bounce against each other on the ceiling with hollow thudding sounds. Suddenly a hand swatted his ass. 

There was a daring edge to Tony’s smile as Loki’s head whipped around. “Of course we do. Stop worrying about it, precious.” 

Loki scoffed, but Tony was already grabbing the door handle to go back out to the garage. “And I know that cake wasn’t cheap to make, mister. So let yourself have some fun.” In spite of himself, Loki felt a guilty burn light up his cheeks. He let out a hissy sigh, a bit chagrined, and headed to the kitchen to start finishing up the cake. 

 

Tony let out a low whistle when he walked into the kitchen a while later. “Fuck, Lo. That’s gorgeous.” 

Loki scratched his nails against the back of his head. “I hope so,” he said, twisting the end of the piping bag. 

“Hope so? It is,” Tony said, walking around the side to admire it. The three tiers had been carefully assembled, the white frosting painted with brush strokes of gold that were flecked and wild despite the elegant effect they had on the cake. At the top, the beautiful white chocolate bow they’d labored over caught the light with its gold paint. “You got all of this done while I set up the pool?” Loki shrugged. “When do I get to eat it?” Tony asked, getting right down to the important question. 

Loki grinned, letting the frosting bag flop down on the countertop. “When it’s time.” He started towards Tony. “I want to see what you did with the pool.” 

 

They passed a respectable number of balloons on their way there. The garden arch was set beside the pool, a sheer, gauzy curtain stolen from one of the spare bedrooms draped down its side and catching in the breeze. 

Tony had lined up the chairs leading up to it, but there wasn’t that much of an aisle. He’d dragged all of the pool furniture away and put out a few of the tables to set the food on later. Since the pool already had trees and plants around it, there hadn’t been much of a need to dress it up.

Tony had to squint in the sunlight, but he didn’t miss the affect it had on Loki’s face. His joy was obvious, but it was the disbelief written there that wriggled its way into Tony’s chest. It was as if Loki couldn’t believe it was there, and he was _thrilled_ about it. 

“It looks great,” Loki said. 

“It’s not too plain?” Tony asked. 

Loki assessed him for a second before answering. “No. It’s elegant,” Loki said. “And it’s not—trying to hard.” 

“We wouldn’t want that,” Tony said. He brushed his hands off against his pants. “I guess we should get dressed.” 

Loki nodded his head slightly, saying nothing. 

For a moment they simply stood there, lost in their own thoughts. “Let’s go,” Loki said. 

 

They didn’t have time to meander while they got dressed, considering how close it was to the time that the guests would arrive. Loki only had the suit he’d worn to Thor's wedding, but Tony had dozens. Loki pulled a dark green tie beneath the white collar of his shirt, watching Tony fret over at the closet. “Any one that you pick will be fine,” he assured Tony. 

Tony spun around. “But which one do you _like_?” 

Loki’s fingers swiftly tied a knot, the silky fabric twisting in graceful, efficient loops. He pursed his lips, thinking. “What about that navy one?” 

“Which navy one?” Tony asked hopelessly. 

“The one you wore the other week,” Loki said, striding up to the closet to help him. Hangers scraped against the rack as Loki swiftly sorted through the suits, finding the one he liked. “This one,” he said. 

“That one?” Tony shifted from one foot onto the other. “But it’s not even one of my most expensive.” 

“I like the way it looks on you,” Loki said, being sure to catch his eyes. Tony calmed for a moment in Loki’s gaze, still searching it for some sign of doubt. Loki held the suit out for him to take. 

“Okay,” Tony said, accepting it from Loki’s outstretched hand without anymore hesitation, so unlike when they’d started dating and Tony’d avoided being handed anything. 

Tony got dressed quickly then, until he got to his cufflinks. “Which ones?” He asked, immediately at Loki’s side. Loki tried not to laugh. 

“You wear the rectangular ones whenever you see business clients, so not those. And not the Star Trek ones either,” he said, ruling that out before Tony could ask. “How about these?” He asked Tony, pointing out a flashier pair with square cut diamonds that he knew Tony liked. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, putting them on without another comment. Loki followed after him into the bathroom, watching Tony comb and style his hair in the mirror. Tony’s eyes met him in the reflection. “You look good.” 

Loki had straightened his hair, allowing the dark locks to lay against his shoulders, curled at the ends. He’d resented formal ware for a longtime. He’d felt stiff and miserable in it from the day he’d first associated it with becoming the rook his father had always wanted on his chessboard. This was the suit that Tony had picked for him though, for Thor’s wedding ages ago, and Loki was willing to make exceptions for it. It felt good. “So do you.” 

Tony picked at a cowlick in his hair with the brush. “Here,” Loki said. He slipped the brush from Tony’s fingers. Tony turned to face him, staring down at Loki’s tie. His soft hair smoothed out beneath Loki’s fingertips. “It looks fine,” Loki assured him. When Tony glanced up at him, those soft brown eyes were far more emotional than Loki expected. His fingers stilled. 

Whatever it was that Tony wanted to say, he went to fix Loki’s tie instead. “You know that seeing you in a suit does things to me.” Tony undid the tie clip. 

“Tony, we don’t have time—”

“Relax,” Tony said. “I’m just going to give you one of mine. This one’s scuffed.” He stepped away, leaving Loki to study himself in the mirror. He tugged at his waistcoat, waiting. Tony returned, hands moving to Loki’s chest. “This one’s perfect.” He slid the golden bar over Loki’s tie. Tony smiled. “Yeah. Perfect.” 

Tony’s hands set on his shoulders. They were in their same old bathroom. It was a day like any other, and yet, Loki felt the same strange flicker that Tony seemed to. He didn’t know what to say. 

Tony let go with a soft sigh. “Everyone’ll be here soon.” 

“Shit,” Loki hissed. 

“What?” “The vows,” Loki said. “We completely forgot to figure them out.” 

“I’m sure nobody’ll care if we use the standard ones,” Tony said. Loki shook his head. 

“That’s not us,” he said. 

Tony glanced away, then back to him. “Then—we’ll wing it,” he said. “I, we winged our proposal, so who cares how we do the vows?” 

“I liked that,” Loki said. 

“The proposal?” Tony asked. 

“Yes. What we said,” Loki answered. 

Tony tilted his head. “I don't remember it word for word.” 

“The way we said it,” Loki said. Tony caught his hands as he began to knead his fingers together. The heat from his hands sunk into Loki’s skin. 

“Okay,” Tony said. “Let’s do them like that.” 

Loki took a breath, nodding his head. He didn’t know why he felt heavy suddenly, or why it was so important. It just was. Loki followed Tony downstairs, fretting over what he wanted to say. It was overwhelming. “Clint and Sam are here.” 

“What?” 

“They’re walking up the sidewalk now.” Loki stilled beside Tony, the reality of it all starting to hit as he saw them in their tuxes on the digital screen. A moment later the doorbell rang. 

“Well look at you both,” Sam exclaimed, stepping inside. He was dressed in a light blue suit and carrying a large bouquet of white flowers, just like Clint was. Clint tried squeezing past him in the doorway. 

“Let me in,” Clint whined as Sam chucked.

“I was just keeping out the competition,” Sam said. Clint glared, but there was no malice in it. He was wearing a black suit that looked vaguely familiar. 

“What’s with the flowers?” Tony asked, trying to get the door shut behind them. 

“We figured you wouldn’t have any, so we brought some,” Clint said. He extended them towards Tony. “Here. My allergies hate them.” 

Tony looked as helpless with them as the time that Thor had brought flowers. “I’ll get a vase.” 

“They could go up on the arch,” Loki suggested. 

“Where’s this arch?” Sam asked. 

“Out by the pool,” Tony said. They started in that direction. “I don’t really know how all of this is supposed to work,” Tony said. “I know we have to say some things, but…” He trailed off, giving Sam and Clint the opportunity to explain. 

“How do you want it to go?” Sam asked. Tony looked to Loki. 

“We just have to walk down the aisle, say our vows, and trade rings, right?” Loki asked. 

“As long as you make a declaration of intent and we pronounce you married, you can do whatever you want,” Sam said. 

“And you have to sign the marriage license with witnesses and we send that off to be filed,” Clint added. 

“We did a prenup-y sort of thing already,” Tony said. 

“You’ll still need to sign your marriage license. Most people do that after the ceremony,” Clint said. 

Tony glanced to Loki for approval again, and he nodded his head. “Okay,” Tony said. They walked out to the pool. 

“This is nice,” Sam said. 

“Where’s the cake?” Clint asked behind him. Sam nudged his arm. “What?” 

Sam seemed pretty damn amused, and Loki was too, truth be told. He relieved Tony of the bouquet in his hands, arranging it up on the arch. Sam followed suit. “What song are you going to have going down the aisle?” Sam asked. Loki’s head snapped towards Tony. 

Tony was also giving him that deer in the headlights look. “Not the here comes the bride thing—” Tony said, at almost the exact same time as Loki. 

Loki smiled, slightly nervous now, and brushed a hand through his hair. “We need to get a stereo out here,” Tony said. “And—” his eyes lit up. “I can pick a song.” Loki started to open his mouth to argue. “The only music you have is that grunge emo stuff—”

“—That’s entirely untrue—”

“I’ve got this,” Tony said, putting both hands on Loki’s shoulders. “I’ve got this. Let me? Please,” he said, working it. Loki let out a sigh. “Yes,” Tony gloated. “You want to dance down the aisle for me?” Tony asked. 

“No,” Loki said flatly. 

Tony let go of him, amused at his own antics, and looked back over at Sam and Clint. 

“We could walk down together,” Loki suggested. 

“That’ll work,” Tony said. His phone beeped. Tony dug it out of his pocket. “Bruce is here. I’m going to go let him in and get the stereo.” He jogged towards the door, leaving them. 

For a moment it was quiet. “Where’s the cake?” Clint asked again. 

Loki grinned. “Inside. I’ll show you,” he said. 

“Did you eat today?” Sam asked Clint in the tone of an all-knowing parent.

“Yeah,” Clint said. “I just know it’ll be awesome.” 

“Tony helped me make it,” Loki said. 

“By watching?” 

“He can help,” Loki said, unable to keep pride from coloring his voice. 

“If you say so,” Clint said. “Man, you should’ve seen the time he tried making an omelette when he was back in college. He crashed at my place and tried making me breakfast as a thank you. The top looked ok but the whole thing was black on the bottom.” Sam chuckled, but Loki had faith that Tony could make a good omelette now if Loki asked him to. 

Clint gasped when they entered the kitchen. “That’s awesome.” He went straight up to the cake, marveling over it. 

“You can’t eat it yet,” Sam reminded him. The doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it,” Loki said. He heard Sam tell Clint to leave it alone as he went for the door. 

Thor, Jane, and Azalea were waiting. Thor was holding a massive bouquet of yellow and purple flowers, and Jane had Azalea in her arms. Thor smiled at him as Jane switched Azalea to her other hip. Azalea was wearing her purple fairy dress with the iridescent blue wings on the back. 

“I’m so sorry for her outfit. We didn’t realize there was a juice box in the back seat until she spilled it all over herself, and then we thought we were going to be late if we turned back, and this was in the back seat—” 

Loki reached out his arms to take Azalea. “It’s fine,” Loki assured Jane. 

“You’re dressed so nicely,” she said, wavering. 

Loki smiled. “Thank you.” He kept his arms extended and Jane gave in, carefully handing Azalea off. Azalea beamed at him, reaching one hand for his hair. 

“Azalea,” Jane warned. Loki laughed as she got a handful. Jane immediately stopped her. “Don’t let her do that,” she said. 

“Uncle Loki!” Azalea exclaimed. 

“She’s excited,” Thor said. “She knows that something big is going on.” 

“I can tell,” Loki said as she shouted his name a second time. Jane started fishing around in the large bag slung against her side.

“We brought flowers,” Thor said. 

Loki’s gaze drifted to them, settling contemplatively on a yellow peony. He couldn't be absolutely sure that Thor hadn’t said something to their parents, and he didn’t want to ask. “We’ve been placing them around the arch out by the pool,” Loki said. Thor smiled at him with closed lips. There was some tension in his expression, and it was easy enough for Loki to guess that he was thinking about the same thing. 

Jane withdrew a very expensive camera from her bag. “I want good photos,” Jane said, noticing the way Loki was staring at it. “You and Tony should have some good ones.” 

“I appreciate that.” Azalea babbled beside him, touching a hand to his face. “Shall we?” He asked, motioning inside. 

When they made it to the pool, Tony had hooked up the stereo. Natasha and Steve had arrived, and Happy was helping to get more flowers arranged around the arch. Tony walked up beside him. “Everyone bought flowers,” he said. “I think there was some group coordination.” 

They weren’t perfectly matched, but they all went together. “They’re nice,” Loki said. He turned his attention to Tony and realized that Tony was gazing back at him with the same expression, all jumbled and happy and unsure at once. A soft, reassuring smile appeared on Loki’s lips. Tony mirrored it back.

Abruptly, Sam was there. “Are you ready to start?” He asked. 

Loki turned to Tony. His heart started to pound. 

“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Tony said, a bit rushed. 

“Why don’t you come out through the door when you hear the music?” Sam said. “We’ll get everyone ready.” 

They walked back towards the house, hardly able to grasp what was about to happen. 

 

Tony glanced over at Loki, at the outside light resting softly on his crisp suit and smooth hair. Loki was nervous, Tony could tell by the angle of his lips and the way he kept starting to wring his hands and forcing himself to stop. But damn, he was beautiful. So fucking beautiful. “Lokes,” Tony muttered, hand slipping out to brush his fingers against Loki’s cheek. 

Loki flinched as Tony’s fingers brushed against his skin. “Tony,” he started to complain, then stopped when he saw the way Tony was looking at him. His heart skipped three whole beats. How could Tony look at him like that? Like he was the most precious thing in the world? Humbled, Loki didn’t protest when Tony’s hand slid down, finally brushing away a nonexistent piece of dust from his collar. He felt so horribly tender. 

Tony took breath. It was all starting to hit him. “You look good,” he said, trying to distract himself from the overpowering sensation in his chest. 

“So do you,” Loki answered back. He reached for Tony’s tie, the sleek texture slipping between his pointer and thumb as he needlessly smoothed it down. The faint strum of a note played, and Tony keyed up a split second before him. He looked at Loki, bright eyed, his excitement contagious. 

Loki slid his arm in with Tony’s, recalling the days that Tony had first linked their elbows together and dragged him around at his friends’ parties. Tony’s expression shifted into confidence. Together, they took the first step outside. 

Everyone’s heads turned back to look at them over their chairs, while Sam and Clint waited beside the arch. Loki recognized the song. “Do You Realize?” was playing. He smirked slightly, then muttered only so Tony would hear, “Should it surprise me that it’s The Flaming Lips and not ‘O Fortuna?” 

“That’s only when I’m creating something epic down in the lab,” Tony muttered back.

Loki didn’t get a chance to say more, because suddenly they were in place and it was _really happening_. 

“Okay you two,” Sam said. “You’re going to have to detach for thirty seconds, alright?” There was some soft laughter around them as they realized they were still linked together. Tony stepped back. Loki brushed a lock of his hair behind his ear. 

“Today,” Clint said, his voice rising with an official tone. “We come together to celebrate the union of our dear friends, Tony Stark and Loki Odinson.” Loki’s heart was pounding. Tony grinned back over at him, his own anxiety making his smile a little stiff. Even though it was just their pool in their backyard, it couldn’t have felt more otherworldly. “May their marriage be blessed with the same joy they bring into our lives everyday.” 

It was super fucking weird to hear Clint speak formally. “And if anyone has anything to say about it, you’d better forever hold your peace,” Sam said. Loki and Tony both broke into relieved smiles at the joke as their friends chuckled. 

“Tony Stark,” Sam said. Tony snapped to attention. “Do you take Loki Odinson to be your husband, to love and to cherish, now, the future, and always?” 

“Yes,” Tony answered. Then, realizing he’d got the wording wrong, he added, “I do.” 

“And do you,” Clint said, turning to Loki. “Take Tony Stark to be your husband, to love and to cherish, now, the future, and always?” 

Loki felt like he had to catch his breath, he was so excited. “Yes,” he said. Then, realizing he’d done the exact same thing as Tony, he added, “I do.” Clint turned to Sam.

“We will now bear witness to the promises this couple will make to one another and uphold throughout their marriage with the exchanging of these vows,” Sam said. He looked expectantly to Tony. 

Tony took a deep breath, heart pounding in his ears. He smiled at Loki, though he wanted to cry now that the moment was really here. He couldn’t believe he’d been so god damn lucky. Loki’s hand went forward a little, almost reaching towards him, and Tony took it, grateful to be grounded. Loki took both of his hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze, a sheen in his eyes just like Tony’s. “You are,” Tony said, his throat tightening up suddenly. He thought it’d be so low key at their own house, but it didn’t matter. “The kindest, most loving, most handsome, cleverest man that I’ve ever met, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” Tony said honestly, genuinely pouring out praise without deliberating over any of it. 

Loki’s lips twitched up in a smile. “I love you,” Tony continued, words jumbling together as they all tried to rush out at once. “And you make me feel lucky every day, Lo. I just, yeah, I always want to have you with me.” Hadn’t Loki said something about how he’d liked their proposal? “And I promise not to leave my shoes where you’ll trip over them, or leave dirty dishes out in the kitchen overnight, or have a snarky running commentary going when you’re watching your favorite show.” Loki softly squeezed his hands. “And to always love you, even when I’m upset, or you’re mad at me.” 

Loki pressed his lips together, bowled over at Tony’s words and fiercely adoring the man across from him. 

“Tony Stark,” Loki said, voice calm and composed despite the flurry of affection in his head. “I promise to love you even when you talk during my show and leave your shoes and dirty dishes out.” The breeze caught his hair, brushing it back from his face and the tender expression in his eyes. “I promise to love you on your best and worst days, and to never let my temper allow me to forget that.” 

Loki sounded so eloquent, the beautiful bastard. Tony grinned openly, feeling a swell of pride towards his almost-husband. 

“And,” Loki said, chest squeezing tight. Fuck, he loved Tony so much, he really did. Those soulful brown eyes were resting on him with such unguarded affection, Loki felt tears well up again. He took a breath. “I promise to love you on my best and worst days, even when I’m moody or borrow things from your lab without asking to fix kitchen appliances or complain too much about the thermostat.” He had to tell Tony just how much he meant to him, suddenly. He needed everyone here to know how much he loved this man. “You are the warmest, kindest, funniest, smartest man I know and I am always going to love you, Tony Stark.” 

“Even when I stick my cold feet in your back?” Tony asked, because he couldn’t not tease. 

“Even then,” Loki said, smirking to the side. 

Sam and Clint waited for a moment, until it was clear there wasn’t going to be an all out banter fest between them. They were looking at each other too tenderly for that. “You may exchange rings,” Sam said. 

Tony dug into his pocket, withdrawing Loki’s ring. The metal band was warm. He took Loki’s long fingers between his, admiring the inked ring that would always be there. 

Loki watched the black lines disappear beneath the metal band, Tony’s fingers lingering longer than needed. The sun caught on Tony’s golden band as Loki took his hand, sliding it on and carefully aligning the stone so that it faced perfectly upward. Loki realized he was smiling, and Tony was too. He was so fucking happy it was ridiculous. 

As their hands came apart, Loki couldn’t see anything around him but Tony. He didn’t even think to look. Tony wasn’t any different. 

“We now pronounce you husband and husband,” Clint and Sam said at the same time, both obviously having wanted to say it. 

“You may kiss the groom,” Clint said, gesturing with his hands to the two of them. They smiled at each other, giddy, before both leaning in. 

Loki wrapped a possessive, loving arm around Tony’s shoulder, elatedly kissing him exactly the way he wanted to. Tony pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, one hand sneaking around to where only Sam and Clint could see it curl in around Loki’s waist. 

“I said kiss, not make out,” Sam said after a moment. “There is a child here.”

“Yeah. Keep Sam innocent,” Clint said. 

Loki grinned, not even feeling a slight hint of remorse as he pulled away. Tony looked like he’d gotten away with something too, grinning cheekily and refusing to let go of Loki’s waist. Loki kept his arm around Tony’s shoulders in a side hug. 

“Now we walk back down the aisle, right?” Tony asked, still beaming. 

“Why not?” Loki asked. Even if there wasn’t really anywhere to go in particular, he didn’t give half a shit. It felt wonderful. 

They walked slowly. It was then that Loki got a good look at Thor, saw him wiping away tears from the corner of his eyes and smiling proudly. Loki smiled back, relieved. Tony caught his hand as they got inside the door. “That was awesome,” Tony said. 

“Yeah,” Loki answered, still giddy. Tony was his husband. Holy shit. 

“You’re my husband,” Tony said, wanting to say it aloud first. Loki smiled at him, and Tony got the sense that he was leaning in for another kiss. 

“You’re _my_ husband,” Loki answered, taking the kiss he wanted. 

Tony kissed him back eagerly, but took the first breath of air to inform Loki, “I said it first.” 

Loki pulled back just enough for Tony to see the mischievous glee in his eyes. “I’m _your_ husband.” Tony’s lips parted. “There. I got to say it first,” Loki said, sticking his tongue out. 

Tony went in for an obnoxious peck on the lips at the corner of Loki’s mouth. 

“Hey. This isn’t the honeymoon,” Sam said, poking his head in the doorway. 

“Yeah,” Clint said, squeezing in. “You need to come back out here and sign the marriage certificate and feed me cake.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re not just here for the cake, Clint.” 

“It’s my booking fee,” Clint announced. Sam shook his head, amused. 

Thor and Bruce were waiting with pens beside the arch, but no one else had left their chairs. Tony was the first to sign, with the same huge flourish he’d been doing for years. Loki was slower, carefully measuring his cursive to fit just right. Bruce signed as a witness, smiling warmly at Tony before he did. Loki felt Thor’s hand rest on his shoulder. Without saying anything, his older brother leaned down and signed his name boldly on the certificate as another witness. 

Loki took a slow breath. At least when it came to his family and his marriage, he’d always have his brother’s approval written in ink. 

Tony and Loki had chosen to keep their names, but not because they didn’t want a family name of their own. It had been a long conversation late at night. Tony wasn’t keen on taking Odinson, and he had too many issues with his own father to really want his name thrust on Loki. For Loki, he understood Tony’s father issues too well, and had similar feelings towards his own name. In the end they’d decided to keep it simple and stay the same. It’d be easier for the sake of both their businesses. Not that they hadn’t been thinking about a third name that would be just their own. 

They were still working on it. Even if it wasn’t legally there, they’d know. 

Loki set the pen down and looked over to find Tony smiling at him. He reached out, taking Tony’s hand without a second thought. “Do we want to put the candles out on the pool and start the music up?” Tony asked him. Loki nodded. 

“We can all help with the candles,” Sam said. He turned to Clint. “You start.” 

“Why me?” Clint asked. 

“Because I need to keep an eye on you so that you don't break something—like your ankle,” Sam answered, pushing him off in the direction of the candle bags. 

Clint stumbled forward, grabbing for Sam’s arm. “Are you ever going to let that go?” 

“Nope,” Sam said smugly. 

Loki longed to pull Tony into him and have a quiet moment, but he had Thor over his shoulder and Bruce hovering beside them. 

Tony was excited for the party to start. He went to help with the candles, Loki following, hand still linked in his. Everyone pitched in, passing around matches and lighters. It didn’t take long for the pool to fill. Before Loki knew it, Tony was taking his hand again and leading him to the open space beside the arch. 

“Did you pick a first dance song too?” Loki asked as Tony grabbed him as if for a waltz. Tony shook his head. 

“I told Jarvis to pick.” 

“Jarvis?” Loki gave the quiet speakers a dubious look. Sure, Jarvis could turn the lights on and tell jokes, but he’d never done something like this. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, pulling Loki closer. “He’s—got a personality, you know? More and more. I wanted to let him choose.” 

Loki didn’t know the song, but the instrumental start was at just the right tempo. It was upbeat without being saccharine. Tony pulled Loki in as close at their feet would allow, marveling at how light and carefree Loki looked. 

This was the best goddamn idea of his whole life, and he’d never say otherwise. 

“Tony,” Loki said, leaning his forehead down close to Tony’s. 

“What?” 

Loki grinned, oblivious to everything else going on around them, even the flash of Jane’s camera. “Say it again.” 

“Say what?” Tony asked, soaking in Loki’s affection and happiness like a sponge. 

“You’re my husband,” Loki said. 

“You’re my husband,” Tony said, meaning to make it into a joke and turning sweet with it instead. Fuck, he loved Loki. He really, really did. “And I’m your husband.” Loki’s hair fell against the side of his face as he looked down, the happy grin on his face hidden from everyone but Tony. “So don’t go bringing anybody home,” Tony warned him, teasing. 

“So if I find a candidate for a three way you’re not interested?” Loki asked, his grip on Tony’s waist snugger at the words. 

“Loki, come on. We’ve been married for two minutes,” Tony admonished him, smiling in spite of himself. “And no,” he added. “I’d be way too jealous.” 

“As would I,” Loki muttered. Tony leaned into his chest then, hardly bothering to do more than sway with the song. Loki’s arm wrapped around him, holding him close. 

They said nothing until the end of the song, equally content and grateful for the other. 

 

When they came apart, it didn’t take long for Clint to swoop in and drag Tony into some silliness that probably counted as dancing. Loki hadn’t expected for Jane to dance with him until she grabbed his hand. She was absolutely beaming at him. “You both looked wonderful,” she gushed. 

“Thank you.” 

Thor was a few paces behind her, crouched over to hold Azalea’s hands while she attempted to imitate the grownups. 

“I got some great pictures,” Jane said. “I’ll e-mail them all over to you as soon as we get home.” Loki nodded his head, careful not to step on her toes as they moved. “I’m so proud of you, Loki.” 

He froze, momentarily shocked, before quickly blinking. Those words had never ceased to surprise him in his life, simply because they were never expected. Jane couldn’t seem to take that grin off her face, or the prideful look in her eyes. “You did something amazing, Loki.” 

“Tony helped get it all together and paid for most of it,” Loki answered. 

Jane playfully pinched his side, earning a scowl. “You and Tony are great together, but you already know that I think that,” Jane reminded him. “I mean throwing this wedding and doing it the way you wanted. And you look so happy,” she said. Loki didn’t have an answer to that, so he sheltered his smile as he stared at their feet. If he kept this up, his cheeks were going to be sore from all the smiling. 

Azalea tottered over and grabbed the hem of her mother’s dress, babbling “Dance!” relentlessly. Jane started to sigh, but Loki scooped Azalea up, spinning her around and laughing when she let out an elated shriek. 

Tony watched it happen over Natasha’s shoulder, shaking his head and smiling to himself. Loki was smitten with that kid, and she’d grown on Tony. When the song ended, Tony made his way towards them.

“Are you making Loki do all the work?” Tony asked Azalea. Her fairy wings bobbed over Loki’s arms as he swayed with her, her wavy hair rocking in the motion. She watched Tony with big brown eyes. He wasn’t sure what was fascinating her until she reached out for the shine of his tie clip. Loki smoothly navigated her out of range. 

“She’s tired of standing already,” Thor said from behind Loki. 

“That’s alright,” Loki said. “Maybe we should bring out the food so she doesn’t get fussy.” No one moved to grab it though, and Loki seemed content to hold Azalea. 

“Congratulations,” Thor told them, the slightest bit awkward. He seemed happy, but he had a shy, careful hesitation towards Loki that Tony’d only noticed since they’d announced their engagement. It was weird. Tony couldn’t get used to Thor acting uncertain and uncomfortable. “I’m happy for you.” 

“Thanks,” Tony said, patting his arm. 

“It’s nice to see you happy,” Thor told Loki. It was clear the big guy wanted to say a lot more, but instead his hand hovered beside Loki’s shoulder a moment before briefly setting down. Loki didn’t fight it off, but he didn’t give Thor more than a nod. Tony glanced at Jane. She shrugged. 

Tony looked around him. Happy and Bruce were talking like old friends in the corner. Sam was trying to convince Steve to imitate some dance moves, while Clint and Natasha were dancing like there wasn’t some long history between them. Everyone he loved was here. Tony felt utterly content. Suddenly, Loki’s hand was on his forearm. “Do you want to help me grab the food and set it up?” 

“It’s your wedding,” Jane said behind them. “You should enjoy yourselves. We can get things set up.” Loki opened his mouth as if to argue, but Tony snuck his arm around his waist, Azalea giggling as Tony pulled in close to them. 

“She’s right, Lo. Let them help. Thor?” Tony asked. 

He came to life, quick to help. Tony told them where everything was and to save the cake a while longer, using the arm around Loki’s waist to guide him back onto the makeshift dance floor. “You know what the nice thing about a small wedding is?” Tony asked. 

Loki thought for a moment. “We don’t have to clean up after a million people?” 

“I don’t have to dance with everyone and their mother,” Tony said. Loki switched Azalea’s weight to his other side. “And I get to have you all to myself. Mostly,” he added, making a silly face for Azalea as she gawked at him. 

“Tony,” Azalea said. 

“What is it, kiddo?” 

“Tony car.” He glanced to Loki for direction. 

“She’s probably thinking about riding in your car when we pick her up,” Loki said. “Azalea, do you want to dance?” She smiled and giggled, so Loki set her down. Intent on some brownie points, Tony crouched down to hold her hands. She sort of shuffled her feet with him, thrilled to have his attention. 

Loki watched Tony, knowing damn well he was trying for Loki’s sake, and loving him even more for it. Fuck, Tony was gorgeous tonight. His hair, despite being combed back and styled, flopped rakishly to the side in that careless way Loki loved. The suit looked good on him, like Loki knew it would, but that wasn’t what got to Loki. It was the gentle, almost child-like happiness in his eyes and the contentment he exuded. How’d Loki end up so lucky? 

Eventually Thor came to get Azalea and Loki found himself dancing close to Tony, hardly bothering to keep with the music. They didn’t notice everyone moving off to eat around the pool, not until someone mentioned the cake. Thor and Jane brought it out for them while Sam watched Azalea. 

Loki sighed, squeezing Tony’s hand as he stopped himself from jumping in and correcting Thor on how to properly set down the cake. It was fine. 

“It looks fucking gorgeous, Lo,” Tony said. 

“It does, doesn’t it?” Loki let his weight lean against Tony, stopping himself again from stepping in and telling Bruce how to lay out the plates and napkins. “We did a good job.” He felt Tony’s hand settle against the small of his back. “I’d better be the one to cut it.” 

“I’m not going to argue with that,” Tony said. 

Their friends all gathered around. Loki took the knife, about to cut it like any other order at work. He paused. 

Tony felt Loki’s fingers brush against his, then didn’t bother fighting off a pleased smile when Loki set his hand over his own on the handle. Everyone was silent when the moment came, the silver knife plunging into the soft cake. 

Tony vaguely knew that they were supposed to share a bite or something like that, but he still hadn’t expected for Loki to gently press into the slice with a fork he snatched from the table and bring it to Tony’s lips, almost demure. He watched Tony as if wondering whether or not he’d take it. Tony rolled his eyes at the absurdity for a moment, then leaned in and took it in one bite. Damn, it tasted good. He brushed off the icing on the corner of his mouth with his thumb. 

Loki tucked his hair behind his ear, ignoring the electronic snapping shutter sounds of cameras. Tony eased the fork from his hand, a bit of uncertainty in his expression before he did the same, extending the fork out for Loki to take a bite. 

If there hadn’t been eyes on them, it would’ve been infinitely more fun. Instead Loki just had flash backs to feeding Azalea baby food. 

But he was too happy to care that much, really. Swallowing his bite down, he reached for the knife again. Tony hovered beside him, bantering with his friends as Loki quickly cut and served the cake. “Get one for us from every tier,” Tony said after Loki had finished serving it out with a piece for Steve. 

Loki glanced up and down the cake. “How big do you want the pieces to be?”

“Big enough,” Tony said, unhelpful. Loki shook his head, taking generous slices. When they were all piled onto the too small plate, Loki glanced up to find Tony right there. He planted a kiss on Loki’s cheek. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Tony said. “Let’s go sit with everyone.” 

They ended up seated across from each other, knees touching as they dug forks into the different slices, analyzing the results of their work like a science experiment. It really didn’t come as a surprise to either of them that the cake was a big hit, but Tony had to jokingly put a stop to the compliments when they became too much. 

“You know what I want to do?” Tony asked Loki when they’d finished eating. 

Loki set his hands on the chair, gripping the metal beside his thighs. “What?” 

“Get in the pool.” 

Loki turned his head, as if he would suddenly find that the pool wasn’t filled with floating candles. Tony set his hands on Loki’s thighs, knowing that look already. “It’ll be fun,” Tony said. 

Loki scratched a fingernail against the silky texture of his tie. 

“Please?” Tony asked, squeezing the relaxed thighs under his fingertips. 

Loki rubbed the arch of his eyebrow. “I don’t want to go change into my swim trunks.” 

Tony yanked off his tie. “Who said anything about changing?” 

“Tony,” Loki said, a bit disbelieving. Tony saw his in. His smile widened. 

“Come on,” Tony said, standing up. “For the hell of it.” 

“Tony, that’s my favorite suit on you,” Loki said, standing a little taller than him and using his height to attempt a sterner look. “Don’t wreck it in the pool.” 

“Fine,” Tony said, dropping the suit jacket onto the chair behind him. 

“Hey,” Clint said beside them. “We’re still here.” 

“Yeah, Barton?” Tony said, reaching for his top button. “Please, Lo.” 

Loki looked away, Tony’s favorite smirk appearing on his lips. He reached for his tie. “There we are,” Tony said. They kicked off their shoes.

“Are you seriously—” Clint started. 

“Everybody should jump in,” Tony said. Clint shook his head, but he seemed to be the only one that had noticed what they were doing. 

Loki was just as on board with the whim as Tony was. With quick motions, they discarded everything but their boxers. “What are they—” Sam started. 

“Swimming,” Clint answered as Tony and Loki approached the water’s edge. The candle lights illuminated the pool in dozens of ring shapes. 

Tony grabbed Loki’s hand. “Ready?” 

“Absolutely.” 

They jumped, weightless for that moment before they hit the water. It was just the right temperature. Tony surfaced, laughing as water dripped into his eyes. Loki’s hair fanned out behind him on the water’s surface. He was beaming. “You’re insane, you know that?” 

“Takes one to know one,” Tony said. Loki caught onto Tony’s shoulders, forcing him to grasp onto the pool’s edge for balance. They caught their breath as Tony’s arm secured itself around Loki’s waist. 

“I wonder if I could get Thor to jump in with his suit,” Loki mused. 

“Don’t,” Tony said, knowing too well how easy it would be for an eager to please Thor to be charmed by his impish brother. 

“Spoil sport,” Loki muttered. Tony pulled him in as tight as their bodies would allow. “Who else will jump in?” 

“Bruce,” Tony called out. 

“Not happening,” Bruce called back over, knowing Tony too well. 

“I tried,” Tony said. 

“They just need another glass of champagne or two,” Loki said. 

Tony laughed, agreeing. 

They lingered that way for a few moments longer before Tony’s arm got tired and he needed to move. “Hey Clint! Push the seashell float into the pool!” 

“Why me?” 

“You’re closest!” 

As if terribly put upon, Clint got up. “You two kids are something else, you know that?” He asked, pushing the giant seashell float in.

“Thanks, old man.” Tony hoisted himself up onto the float, scooting over to make room for Loki. Loki leaned back against the second scallop shell, utterly content. They sat there, water pooling on the vinyl under them. 

“This was perfect,” Loki said. 

Tony couldn’t have been more relived at hearing that if he’d tried. All day, how Loki would feel about the absence of his parents had been at the back of Tony’s mind. “It’s not even over yet,” Tony reminded him. 

Loki grinned. “Yes, but I have the feeling that some of our plans include our guests not being here.” 

Tony looked out over his friends, feeling a surge of affection towards them as they chatted and had fun where they’d pulled the chairs together. He couldn’t imagine a better way to have had his wedding. 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “There are some things they don’t need to see.” 

“There are some things that are only for me to see,” Loki answered. 

Tony felt a thrill tingle down his spine at the possessive suggestion, smiling to himself. Loki’s hand found his. “You’re certain that it’s not—lacking—because it’s so—informal?” Loki asked quietly. 

“Are you kidding?” Tony shot back, genuinely gob-smacked at the suggestion that this could be anything less than perfect. “Lo, baby.” Tony squeezed his hand. “I get to call you my husband now. That’s—” Tony stared at the floating candle and its halo of light in the water beside him, searching for the right word. “—Magical.” Loki smiled at him, but Tony didn’t want there to be any doubts. “All my friends are here, and this is, it’s fun. I love it.” 

“Me too,” Loki said, feeling the bashfulness of a smitten first date. 

“Good,” Tony said. “Hey. You think we can get someone to bring us some champagne?” 

Loki raised his chin. “Thor,” he called. Immediately, his brother’s head popped up. “Bring us some champagne.” Thor got up. 

“Is he really going to—” Tony started to ask. 

“—Yes,” Loki said. “He is.” 

“That’s like a superpower,” Tony said. 

“Today,” Loki said. “Tomorrow—” He shrugged. He had no idea how things would go with Thor and his parents and him, but tonight he didn’t give a shit. 

They sat in their pool float, holding hands and smiling to themselves, looking like the happiest little shits in the world. They probably were.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts/feelings/analysis are always welcome! :)


	15. Chapter 15

It was strange to come back the shared office building on Tuesday morning, to return to his routine as if nothing monumental had happened. Loki slid his keys inside his pocket as he walked into the building. He hoped that his employees had done well in his absence. 

Yesterday, Tony brought him out to breakfast and they spent the whole day together, hanging out and then at home in various stages of undress. It’d been a hard high to come down from this morning as the alarm went off. It’d been hard to get ready too. He was running a few minutes late.

Loki opened the door to his business. Immediately he noticed that it was quiet. The lights were on, but it was too damn quiet for a god damn kitchen at this time of day. Did his sous chef flake out? He wouldn’t have expected it, but something was off. He took several quick, harsh steps inside. 

“Surprise!” Loki came to a dead halt. 

His whole staff plus Peter were gathered together in the center of the room. The kitchen walls had been dressed up in white streamers and paper honey comb bells. Various food dishes were laid out on the counters. At a glance, he knew they were all things his staff had made themselves. Loki gawked.

He didn’t know what to think. 

“Verity said you eloped,” Peter said. “How was it?” 

With embarrassment, Loki realized he was flushing. 

“Good,” he said. “Great.” He’d never been flustered with his staff before. He couldn’t believe they’d put this together for him. 

He couldn’t believe his sous chef had told them all.

“You know,” Verity said, “we’ve never seen a picture of your fiancé, now husband. What’s he look like?” 

Loki found his limbs willing to move again. He walked up to join them. “We’re not publicly announcing our marriage yet. When we do, I’ll show you pictures.” They’d probably all know then. Tony had assured him his PR team would make sure it was nothing but a blip, but Loki was anxious. Tony’d done a good job staying out of the press for non-company news, but he was still a well known name. Loki needed it to stay under wraps until he told his parents. 

“I told you. He’s with someone in an organized crime family,” one of his station chefs said. 

“No way. It’s a celebrity,” another said. 

They’d teased him when they’d noticed his engagement ring too. “Who made the almond cookies?” Loki asked, trying for a diversion. 

“That would be me,” Verity said. She nudged the tray towards him. “It’s very rude not to try them, you know.” He shook his head, taking one. 

“You’d better hope the boss thinks they’re good, Verity.” 

Peter was quick to hop in. “Everything Verity makes is good,” he argued, his crush showing in all its glory. Loki nodded his head in approval as another wave of bickering started among them. 

He let them off the hook for the first hour, bewildered by the warm display of affection towards him. Then he sent them back to work, pleased to find that they’d done better than he’d expected the day before. 

 

When Loki got home that evening, Tony was waiting at the kitchen counter. He looked up from his tablet with the same joy from yesterday. The apology was out of Loki’s lips before he even thought of it. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I won’t be here for dinner tonight.” 

Tony frowned, but didn’t overreact. “Why not?” 

“I made an appointment with our therapist. It’s the only time this week he could squeeze me in.” 

Tony’s eyes widened, but he kept his posture casual. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with?” He asked, voice colored by worry.

“No, I—need to figure out how I want to break the news with my mother before I do. I just need to work it out for myself.” Loki toyed with the zipper on his jacket. “I’ll be home right afterwards.” 

“Do what you need to do,” Tony told him. 

Loki nodded, tugging the zipper once before letting it go. “There’re leftovers in the fridge you can warm up.” 

“I’ll do my best not to starve to death in the hour that you’re gone,” Tony teased him. Loki smirked, flicking the back of Tony’s shoulder as he walked past. “But I can send ‘I miss you’ texts. Do you want me to send ‘I miss you’ texts?” 

“No,” Loki said. 

“What if I fill them with gifs?” Tony asked, trying to sweeten the deal. 

“No,” Loki said, shaking his head. “Please don’t. They’re so lame.” 

“They are not,” Tony said. Loki sighed, fighting off a smile. “I’m going to send you some out of spite now,” Tony warned him. 

“I look forward to it,” Loki answered. 

He went upstairs to change into clothes that didn’t smell like cooking. He was pulling a new pair of jeans on when the first text came in. It was a dancing chicken with an _I love you_ written in glitter text under it. 

Loki sent back the most obnoxious I love you gif he could find. 

 

“Did the session go okay?” Tony asked later, when they were laying in bed. 

“Yeah,” Loki said. “I have a plan now.” He arched his back, adjusting his spot on the mattress to be more comfortable. “I think I’m going to be able to be more honest with her if I’m on the phone and she isn’t right there,” Loki said. Tony’s fingertips set against his forearm. 

“Will you tell me how it goes?” 

Loki turned his head towards Tony, caching his worried gaze. “Yeah,” Loki said. “Of course.” 

 

Determined not to put it off and drag out the inevitable, Loki decided to call with the news the very next day. He considered making the call from his office but ruled it out after deciding he didn’t want to drive home afterwards. He knew he’d probably want to crawl into bed. 

When Loki got home, he quietly paced through the house, looking for Tony. He paused outside the lab door. The low thump of bass greeted his feet. He could make out some of the notes in the music, but not all of it. Loki sort of felt relieved. Tony was in full swing creation mode, so he’d probably be occupied for a while. 

Loki didn’t want to find Tony hunched outside his door, eavesdropping. He started up the stairs, heavy feet dragging. He pushed open the door. Loki bit the inside of his cheek. He gently pulled it shut behind him, listening to the hollow thud it made in the doorframe. 

He trudged towards his couch and slowly sank down on it, fishing his phone from his pocket. He traced his fingertips along the achingly familiar thread pattern on the couch, pausing at the places where it was bare. He squeezed the worn out cushion beneath. 

Loki pulled his feet up onto the cushion, then wedged himself into the corner of the couch. He pulled his hair out of his ponytail and raked his fingers through it. 

His hair fell against the side of his face as he stared down at his phone’s home screen. 

Loki traced the splintered glass, wondering if it wouldn’t be so bad to give in to Tony’s insistence that he get a new one. Maybe he should look at new models. Maybe he should go downstairs and ask Tony if he could have one of the spare prototypes he’d been offered before. 

Loki started to get up, but a nagging feeling stopped him. 

He’d promised himself he’d do this. Loki took a long, slow breath, closing his eyes. This needed to be done. It had to be done. 

Loki scrolled through his contacts, tapping his mother’s name before he could talk himself out of it. He pressed the phone to his ear. Each ring made his heart twinge and flail. “Hello?” 

There was a cheerful murmur in the background beneath his mother’s voice. Glasses clinked. It was easy to make out the classical music. “Loki?” 

“Mum,” Loki said, lightheaded. “There’s something important I need to tell you about.” 

“What is it dear?” She said it so kindly, with the sort of warm worry that had once made Loki melt and confess everything. 

“I—” He curled his hand until he felt his fingernails dig into his palm. She was out somewhere. This was obviously a bad time. He should’ve considered that before. “Mum, do you have a moment? If I’m interrupting, I can call back later.” 

“It’s alright,” she said. The background sounds began to disappear. “Tell me what happened. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He pressed a palm to his forehead. Already, this was not the self-assured, assertive way he’d planned to be. “I just—” He burrowed his heel down into the couch cushion. It’d probably be better to lead her into it. “Felt so stressed about the wedding that—” Loki rubbed his lips, meaning to keep speaking. His mother instantly filled the silence. 

“Loki,” she said, tenderly saying his name. “It’s okay if you needed time to think. You were going about it so quickly. Are you and Tony—?” 

“I eloped,” Loki said. 

Silence. 

“We eloped,” Loki corrected himself. “And I, I feel so happy about it—”

“—You eloped?” His mother asked, her voice strained and tight. 

Loki pressed his lips together. “Yes,” he breathed out. 

“Did you go to the courthouse, or did you fly out to Vegas—” She was asking so quickly that Loki felt compelled to cut her off with an answer. 

“—We got married at home. We have some friends that are ordained officiants, so they came out. It was a very casual thing,” he said. There was more silence on her end. It emboldened Loki to keep going, to try and make his case, as if this time, maybe, she’d understand. “I feel so happy, Mum. We had our friends over, and it was so nice. It really was. I know I’m going to be happy with Tony, Mum. He’s a good man—”

As if she couldn’t believe what she was saying, his mother said, “You didn’t even think to ask.”

Here was the part he’d been expecting. “You never apologized,” Loki said. 

“Loki, you didn’t even _ask_ me to attend your wedding—”

“I did ask,” Loki said. He was firm, but there was a bite to it he was trying to reign in. “I said you and Dad could come if you apologized for the way you’ve treated Tony—”

“I’m your mother,” she gritted out. It stung. Loki couldn’t deny the guilt it made him feel, and yet his anger eagerly rushed in over it. 

“Which is precisely why you should’ve apologized,” Loki said, voice rising. The fury in his chest urged him on. “If you wanted to be there, you could’ve come. Instead you and Dad had to lord your attendance over me. That’s ridiculous,” Loki said, shaking his head as if to get the thought out. “How could I—how could I invite you to my wedding knowing you’d insult my husband?!” His heart was pounding. 

“Loki, I—”

“You and Dad have no right to be like this,” Loki continued, breaking the dam that had been holding it all in. “Tony has never, not once, done something to me that you have a right to be angry over. You haven’t listened to anything I’ve said about him, you’ve taken no interest in hearing about us, hell. You haven’t even taken an interest in hearing about my business—”

“That’s not true,” his mother said. 

“Yes. It is,” Loki snapped. “Either I’m listening to a comparison to Thor, who, by the way, you’ve both made miserable, or you are flagrantly ignoring anything I say and telling me how I should feel or what I should do. You have never listened to what I need—”

“Loki,” his mother said, almost pleaded. “Please don’t yell.” 

He ignored her. “And I don’t know what’s going on in your head, Mother, but I’m sick of it. Sick. Of. It. You can either be happy for Tony and I and treat him with respect he deserves, or you and Dad can both piss off because I will not,” Loki balled his hand into a fist, the energy inside him desperate for a way out. “I will _not_ stand back and watch as you insult or belittle or condescend to him. I will not. So if you think that’s where this is going to lead, you’re wrong. You are so wrong,” he bit out. Loki stood up from the couch. He couldn’t sit anymore. “Tony comes first with me, Mum. Whether you and Dad like it or not.” He began to pace.

“Loki,” his mother said. Her voice sounded broken, suddenly. “I—I didn’t know you felt that way.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Actually, Mum. I’m pissed. I am _pissed_ at you and Dad.” 

“I didn’t think you were so upset that you wouldn’t invite us to your wedding.” She said it so horribly quietly.

“I was,” Loki said, furious. “I am. You and Dad still owe us an apology, and—if you start shit over this, if Dad uses Asgard and I have to hear how his company went after Tony’s—”

“Loki. We wouldn’t,” his mother said. 

“I mean it, Mother.” 

It was quiet. She didn’t hurry to answer the way that Loki expected her to. He listened, but he heard absolutely nothing, not even a crackle of static. He glanced at the screen, wondering if she’d hung up on him. It was still connected. “Mum?” 

“Loki.” Her voice was heavy. “I have to go. I will call you again. I love you.” The last part sounded desperate to his ears. He didn’t know how he wanted to answer back. 

He was pissed. Fuck, he was so pissed. And guilty. And now he felt sorry for her. And maybe he was an asshole to his parents, but whatever. “Bye, Mum.” He hung up, wondering if he’d regret it. Loki stared at his empty couch, the adrenaline crashing down on him. 

Belatedly, Loki wondered if she hadn’t been crying at the end of the call. An immense wave of guilt rushed over him. 

Fuck this, fuck all of it. He didn’t know what was up or down. It just fucking sucked. Maybe there’d been a better way to do things. Maybe not.

Loki scratched his nails against his scalp so hard that it stung. 

Tony. 

He needed to tell Tony. 

If he stayed up here, it was just going to gnaw away at him, and if he didn’t seek Tony out now, he wasn’t going to at all. Loki yanked open the door. 

He hurried down the soft stairs, into the quiet of the house. The thump of a base greeted his feet again outside the lab door. Loki pried it open. 

A crescendo of music pained his ears and reverberated in his chest. Tony sat hunched over something with a welding mask on, sparks flying. Loki carefully padded around the periphery of the room, past tables filled with scraps of metal and Dum-E parked in the corner. “Tony,” Loki said, knowing his voice was swallowed up by the sound. Loki gingerly slipped past U, avoiding stepping on his out turned wheel. “Tony!” 

Loki’s eyes set on the computer behind Tony. He’d have to ask Jarvis to turn the music off. 

Loki sat down at the computer desk, waking Jarvis from his sleep screen. He typed in a command request. 

The sudden silence was jarring. 

“Lo?” 

Loki glanced back over his shoulder. “Oh, Lo,” Tony breathed, welding mask flipped back from his face and torch limp in his hand. “What happened?”


	16. Chapter 16

Tony carefully set down the welding torch, discarding his mask on a table as he walked towards Loki. Loki’s weary eyes set on him at his approach, but there was a gentle, almost helpless vulnerability to them that made Tony’s stomach flip. Loki’s shoulders hunched forward as Loki curled his inked fingers around the edge of the black chair. Tony had to lean down to reach him, sliding his arms back around Loki’s lithe body and pulling him into the tightest hug Tony could manage at the weird angle. 

Tony snuck a hand into Loki’s hair, stroking his scalp, marveling over the lack of resistance. Worrying over it. Loki didn’t answer him, just sank into his arms, limp and tired. 

Tony held him until he couldn’t take the worrying. He stood up, hands on Loki’s slouched shoulders. “What happened?” 

“Nothing,” Loki said. He licked his lips, then probably at Tony’s disbelieving scowl, wove his fingers together in his lap. “I just called my mother.” 

Tony inhaled a deep, solid breath, forcing himself not to snap at the _nothing_ Loki’d said. His mother. Of course it was his fucking mother’s fault he looked like this. 

“I told her,” Loki said quickly. His gaze was set out over the lab, towards Dum-E. “She was upset I hadn’t invited her,” Loki said. It was obvious he felt guilty. Tony swallowed back the urge to roll his eyes and to throttle somebody. “But,” Loki said, voice a bit more bold. His eyes darted to Tony’s. “I _did_ invite her.” Tony nodded his head, giving Loki the confirmation Tony silently suspected he needed. “And she didn’t even—” Finally, Loki was starting to get pissed. He stared at Tony, the green in his eyes particularly vivid. “—acknowledge that I’d told them to apologize. She—she completely failed to comprehend that I’d not invited her to this one because she refused to apologize, and then she was upset—”

Loki huffed, his shoulders tightening up beneath Tony’s fingertips. 

“I’m not going to put up with her shit, Tony. I’m tired of things being this way—” Tony was smiling at him. Loki’s eyes narrowed. “What?” 

“I’m proud of you,” Tony said. 

Loki’s suspicion blurred with confusion. “What?” 

“Lo,” Tony said, lowering his head so their foreheads were close. “Your—” He leaned back so he wasn’t breathing all over Loki’s face. “Mother, she, since we started dating, I mean, she put a lot of pressure on you. And now you’re telling her no. She _should_ feel bad she wasn’t there, Lo. She should’ve been there for you and she wasn’t.” She probably would've gotten along great with Howard.

Loki just stared at him, thinking. Tony felt like he was crowding Loki’s space, so he let go and stood back. He leaned his hip against the computer desk. “I know you think I’m hard on your mom,” Tony said. “But I’m pissed at her and your Dad for the way they act towards you, Loki. They’re—shitty,” he said, wondering as he did if Loki would get upset about him saying it. 

Loki stared down at his fingers, tracing his thumb over his knuckles. “I told her I’m pissed at her. And Dad,” Loki said, almost flinching. There was a coiled fury beneath it all, which set Tony at ease despite the nervousness that rattled Loki’s posture. 

“Good,” Tony said. 

“I don’t know how they’ll react,” Loki warned him. “I don’t know what they’ll do.” 

Tony shrugged. “Who cares?” He rubbed at a smudge of grease on his arm. “Fuck ‘em.” Loki slid his feet back beneath the chair. “Lokes, whatever they do,” Tony promised, “it’s not going split us up, and they’re fucking nuts if they think they’re going to take down my company or even scuff the paint. So don’t worry about it.” 

Easier said than done, for sure. Loki chewed on his bottom lip. “I think we’re going to be fine, Lo.” How many fucking times had Loki worried over his parents the whole time Tony had known him? It was a miracle Tony hadn’t laid into them, not the other way around. “Okay? We will be.” 

Loki nodded his head. 

Tony sighed, pulling him into another hug. “You’re my husband,” Tony reminded him. “And I’m not going to let you go.” There was a soft breath from Loki, maybe what could’ve been a laugh if the situation were different. Tony’s anger fell away and he felt corny, but then Loki’s arms were wrapping around his waist and contentment slid over him like a cozy blanket. 

Fuck, Tony was so grateful Loki had come to him this time. So grateful. He closed his eyes, holding Loki close and fervently hoping he wouldn’t pull away. 

He kept his eyes squeezed shut, focusing on the sensation of Loki held against him, trying not to end the moment. 

“I think she cried.” 

Tony’s eyes shot open. To his credit, he didn’t move. 

“She sounded off at the end and hung up abruptly.” Tony felt the weight of Loki’s head rest against his shoulder. “She’s not a crier.” 

Tony circled a hand on Loki’s back. “Lo,” he said, voice far more somber and blunt than it ever was. “If she was, she sort of deserved it.” Loki tensed up, but then it was gone as soon as it’d come. “They deserve to feel bad about it. And you don’t need to feel bad about that.” 

Silence settled over them. When Loki’s hands pulled away, Tony stood back. Loki’s eyes seemed a little redder than they’d been, but he smiled at Tony.

“What’re you working on?” 

Tony started an explanation, but cut himself short a moment later. “Do you want to help?” Loki’s gaze drifted to the project with an air of uncertainty. “It’ll be easy,” Tony assured him. “I’ll show you what goes where, and you’ve gotten the hang of a soldering gun.” 

“Okay,” Loki said. 

“That’s the spirit,” Tony praised him.

Loki fell into the swing of things with him, helping with a natural ease that made Tony question why he chose to work alone in the lab so often. Occasionally, Tony would glance over and catch Loki at a moment when he wasn’t aware of Tony’s attention, catch the worry lines in Loki’s brow or the subtle melancholy in his expression. But when they came out of the lab, way late in the night, Loki had been teasing him and telling him stories about culinary school that Tony sometimes doubted were true but still questioned enough to not ask. Tony was getting laughs out of him easily. 

And Tony’s project was entirely finished, two days ahead of schedule. That was nice too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn’t think I was going to let you out of getting some nice hurt!Loki/comfort!Tony, did you? ;)


	17. Chapter 17

Loki had made a small project out of rearranging the books in Tony’s library, in part because his own room had run out of space. The library was in a neglected hall of the house. With some rearranging, Loki could make it cozy. At least the windows overlooked the lawn, and even with the door open to the rest of the house, it was quiet. 

Loki set one of the racier books on a high shelf, fondly recalling the small town bookstore he'd visited with Tony ages ago. Tony had a dusty set of encyclopedias and yellowing paperbacks crowding a far shelf that Loki wanted to ask to get rid of. He set a pile of old textbooks on the floor, out of the way. 

His phone began to ring. It was probably Thor, he reasoned, stepping over a pile of books. He’d spoken to Thor last night, after Thor had gotten a call from their mother. Thor said he’d told her that Loki was an adult and could make his own decisions. The corner of a book struck Loki’s ankle as he navigated past it towards his phone on the desk. 

The ID said it was his parents’ home phone. He’d been expecting this. He’d just tell his mother the same thing Thor had. “Hello?” 

“Loki.” He stilled at the recognition of his father’s voice. “Call your mother.” 

He licked his lips. His father didn’t sound concerned, so he didn’t feel concerned. Loki combed his fingers through his hair, staring at the ceiling. “Why?” 

“She has been beside herself for the past couple days.” 

Loki sat down on the corner of the desk. Immediately, he was concerned. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew he needed to think. The sharpness in his father’s voice made it clear he didn't want to be making the call. Loki stared down at his nails. “Why isn’t she the one calling me?” He asked, voice hard and dull. 

“She’s not the one who needs to apologize! You’re tearing your mother apart. Who do you think you are, not inviting her to your wedding—”

Loki yelled back at the voice shouting in his ear. “I’m not the one who’s going to apologize! I told her that she _and you_ could attend if you would just apologize—”

“—I am not going to apologize for voicing my own thoughts! You are doing this to be spiteful—”

“ **I am not!** ” Loki blinked, startled at his own anger, but then his father’s voice was in his ear again. 

“You didn’t get your way,” his father told him. “Now you want your mother to suffer for it.” Loki grimaced, appalled. "You act as though—”

“Act as though what?” Loki challenged him. “Are you going to threaten to cut me off this time, or have you forgotten that you already have? I fail to see how any of this benefits you, except to—”

“—Loki.” 

“What?” Loki snapped at him. “What would you like to complain about this time, Father? Please, get it off your chest now so I don’t have to listen to it later." Loki flung out his hand in exasperation. "I haven’t done anything wrong in this, and you act as though Tony is some philistine out to sully your name—”

“You have been nothing but secretive and a liar from the start with Stark’s boy!” His father yelled over him. “It hardly surprises me that you married in secret—”

“It wasn’t a secret!” Loki wanted to kick over the nearest pile of books. Fuming, he barreled into a fight with his father not at all unlike those in their past. “And even if it were, you couldn’t blame me when I—”

His father bellowed, and yet still made it sound like an exhausted parent teaching something boringly simple. "You know nothing of the Stark family!"

"Then enlighten me," Loki growled.

"Howard Stark was a close friend of Joseph Manfredi. Howard Stark was an arms dealer. I don't have to explain the connection to you."

Loki ran his tongue over his teeth. If Tony had connections to the head of a crime syndicate like his father Howard had, Loki had never seen a sign of it. He sincerely doubted Tony would've maintained the connection anyway. Tony wasn't an arms dealer. He wasn't anything like his father. "I don't see how that has anything to do with Tony."

"The Starks were not wealthy from government contracts alone, Loki."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Why bring that up now? Why don't you just admit that you don't want to see me happy? It's just like culinary school, nothing's ever good enough for you! Why don't I just turn into Thor so you can—"

“Enough!” 

“No!” Loki’s throat ached. “You listen to me old man, I am done with your shit, you’d better damn well—”

“I will not sit here and be berated by an ungrateful son! Call your mother and stop tearing this family apart with your theatrics, Loki!” 

“Theatrics? That’s rich coming from you!”

“Enough! If you must have an apology, then for your mother’s sake, I’ll apologize.” Loki didn’t know what to say. He felt sick to his stomach. “I apologize. Now call your mother so she can stop thinking you’ve abandoned her.” 

Loki’s entire face had flushed red and he was breathing too hard, heart pounding. He glared at the carpet as if he could burn a hole in it. “Do you even care that you missed my wedding?” He asked as if he already knew the answer, even while a desperate part of him beneath his rage hoped it wasn’t true.

“Loki, I will not play your mind games.” 

“So you don’t care.” 

“Do not twist my words.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Loki—”

“I said, fuck off!” Loki screamed right back. He hung up the phone, red faced in sheer fury and ready to cry. It was then that he noticed Tony in the doorway, arms crossed, watching him with weary apprehension. Tony leaned off the doorframe when he spotted Loki. 

“That went well,” Tony said, delicately stepping over a pile of books. “Daddy dearest didn’t like your new haircut?” 

Loki tried to smile at the teasing. “Apparently not.” 

“Well, fuck him. It looks great,” Tony said, finally jumping the last hurdle of books between them. Loki brushed his fingers through his very not cut recently hair, trying to bring his breathing back down to normal. 

Tony pulled him into a hug, hooking his chin over Loki’s shoulder. Immediately, Loki felt the stress drop down from him, his weight sinking into Tony’s grip. 

“You heard that,” Loki said. 

“Yeah,” Tony confirmed. “Only one side of it, though. Did he…?” Tony trailed off, prompting him. 

Loki took a slow, deep breath. He wanted to collapse and break down right then, but the question was giving him something to stay focused on. “He wants me to call my mother because she’s been out of sorts about not being at our wedding.” Tony made a miserable, pissed off groan that Loki flinched at. “Then it was the usual between us.” Tony’s arms rocked with him, and Loki just knew he was building up to say something to make him feel better. “Tony, can we—can we just reorder the library?” Tony was still for a moment. 

When he pulled away, his attention was on the pile of books around them. “Where do you want to start, Lo?” 

Loki pointed to the nearest shelf, forgetting where he’d been at. “Just, take them out.” 

Tony didn’t say anything as he added to the growing piles. Loki kept catching bits of sighs here and there. He didn’t say anything when Tony started taking apart the shelf he’d already organized. He wanted Tony to stay.

Loki flipped a book open at random. “It wasn’t—as bad as I expected it to be,” Loki said. “I don’t seem to care as much as I used to.” 

He brushed some dust away from the cover, watching Tony’s crouched down figure from the corner of his eye. Tony scratched his fingers along his beard, blurring its crisp edges. “It seemed pretty heated.” 

“Yeah,” Loki said, only because he couldn’t tell Tony he was wrong when he’d heard him screaming. “But that’s how it is with my dad.” 

Tony didn’t answer. He pulled a stack of books on law out. Loki watched Tony shuffle through them with detachment. This was boring. Of course it was. 

“I have a pile of books I want you to look at,” Loki said. He stepped over a stack, making his way over to the encyclopedias. “These. Do you need them?” 

Tony stared at them for a moment as if he didn’t quite recognize them. “They were my old man’s.” He stayed kneeling and pulled out another book. “We can get rid of them.” Loki twisted the corner of his shirt in his fingers, trying to assess Tony’s state of mind. “You can sell some of the textbooks.” Tony glanced over at him. His gaze lingered on Loki for a moment. “Ooh, that’s my first engineering book. Wanna see the way my handwriting looked?” 

Loki knew the enthusiasm was fake and forced, but he was unbelievably grateful for it. “Yeah,” he said. “I wonder if it was better than mine.” 

“Ehh, I don’t know,” Tony said. “Our handwriting’s pretty close. Here.” He flipped it open, pointing out the throughly annotated margins to Loki. 

“Like mine,” Loki said, crouching down into the floor space beside Tony. “I bet I have some of my old college books you can look at.” 

“I bet you do,” Tony said. 

Their conversation stayed light as they talked about the books on the shelves, but every time Tony started to drift and seem like he was going to excuse himself to go back in the lab, Loki found something new to distract him with. He was glad Tony was there.


	18. Chapter 18

Tony slept like shit, and before he could even get up and out the door, he was inundated with work calls. Tony fixed his tie, skimming through e-mails on his phone as he walked into the kitchen.

Loki was at the counter, fussing with the coffee machine. Tony sighed, annoyed that he couldn’t just slip in and fill up his mug before darting out the door. Happy was texting him a million different things that had to be handled. 

Tony tapped back a reply, impatient. 

Loki stepped away from the machine, making his way to the refrigerator with no haste. Tony swooped in, snatching a mug from the cabinet. His hand darted to the control panel. “Damnit, Lo.” Tony tapped at the screen. “Why can’t you fill up the water in this thing once in a while? I feel like I need to hook up Lake Eerie to the damn thing.” 

“I was just—” Loki started. 

“—Whatever,” Tony cut him off. “I’ll get some at work.” He abandoned the mug, going to fetch his keys off the table. Loki’s fingers were curled tight around his blissfully full coffee mug. He watched Tony with sharp, cautious eyes, pressing himself back into a corner of the kitchen counter. Tony didn’t want to engage with Loki. He left without a backwards glance, pissed. 

 

Tony had too fucking much to do at work. He completely forgot the morning with Loki until he got a break, way late in the afternoon. Things had calmed down enough that he had time to think. And feel guilty. 

This probably hadn’t been a great morning to snap at Loki. Not that any morning was, really, but Loki had looked like hell after that phone call with his father. He’d said he was fine, but Tony hadn’t believed him for a second. Loki seemed frazzled, which meant that Tony was frazzled, which meant that he’d only slept a couple of hours the whole night from laying in bed worrying about it. 

He couldn’t help it. 

Tony slurped down the green smoothie his secretary had ordered for him. He set his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands for a moment. 

Just how nasty were Loki’s parents going to get? 

Tony leaned back in his chair instead, tipping it so he could stare at the ceiling. 

He knew one thing for sure. He wasn’t going to put up with it for long. He’d had e-fucking-nough of Loki’s parents and their shit with him. They were married now. Tough shit if mummy and daddy dearest didn’t like it. Tony didn’t think he was going to be able to control himself. 

He got out of his chair, polishing off the rest of the smoothie before dumping it in the trash. He’d go down and see how engineering was doing. They always needed him. 

 

Loki’s car was there when Tony got home. He dragged his feet as he entered the house, wondering where he’d stand with Loki. Now that Tony was over the coffee machine, he didn’t want to be pissy. He didn’t want Loki to be pissy. Tony was both relieved and apprehensive when he entered the kitchen and saw his husband’s back to him. Loki was at the refrigerator. “Hey Lo,” Tony tried. 

“Hi,” Loki answered, letting the refrigerator door fall shut. 

Tony tugged at the knot in his tie. “Are you making dinner?” He asked, hoping to start a conversation and ease past the tension. If he could get Loki talking, it’d be fine.

“No,” Loki said, rubbing his nose and staring down at the floor. “I’m not making dinner tonight. I’m going to keep organizing the library. I need to get it finished.” Loki left, his pace swift and uneasy. 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek. 

He stared at the empty doorframe, wondering if he should go apologize. Tony took one step forward. 

No, maybe not. Maybe he was overreacting. Loki had spoken to him, right? Maybe he was just…rearranging the books. 

Yeah, right. 

Not that he wasn’t. He probably was. He definitely was. 

Tony let out a loud sigh. Fine. He’d go see what Loki was doing. He’d ask him…if he needed Tony to get rid of any more old books. Yeah. That was a good plan.

 

Loki was right in the middle of the room sorting through books like Tony had expected. “Hey, Lo?” 

Loki didn’t look up from the pile he was sorting through. “Yes Tony?” 

“Do you need me to get rid of any of my old books?” 

“No,” Loki said. He set a book down on his right. “I’m fine.” His hand lingered on the cover for a moment. “Thanks for asking.” 

It still sounded harsh to Tony’s ears, even if the words were nice. “Okay.” Tony wasn’t sure what else to say. He hovered in the doorway, trying to sort through his building anxiety to find the right thing. It wasn’t working. 

There was nothing but the soft thud of books being sorted. 

Tony was so caught up in his head that he didn’t recognize the doorbell until the second ring. “I’ll get it,” Tony volunteered, his legs quick to come to life. He didn’t care if it was the mailman or missionaries. He was glad they’d gotten him out of that awkward room. 

Tony froze when he saw who was in the security feed. 

“Fuck.” 

Tony startled at hearing the word, unaware that Loki had been right behind him. Apprehensively, Tony’s gaze darted to Loki’s. The moment his eyes locked with Loki’s, he knew that the pettiness going on right now didn’t matter. Loki was on his side. Tony was on Loki’s. “I’ll take care of it,” Loki told him, firm and reassuring. 

Tony wanted to be the one reassuring. It shouldn’t have to be Loki. “I’ll stay with you,” Tony promised him. He expected Loki to argue, not hold his gaze a little longer, something tender and grateful skittering around the edges of it. Loki nodded his head, then reached for the door handle. 

“Hello, Mother.” 

Tony watched from behind Loki’s shoulder. Mrs. Odinson clasped the strap on her purse, staring at Loki with such a loaded expression that Tony couldn’t even begin to puzzle it out. And suddenly Loki was moving backwards and Tony was having to get out of the way. He ducked around Loki’s protective arm, coming to stand beside him. Mrs. Odinson must’ve not noticed him before, because her expression changed when she saw him. The grip on her bag tightened. “You didn’t say you were coming,” Loki stated. 

“Loki,” she said, eyebrows darting into a brief display of uncertainty. Her plea was directed entirely at her son. “I know we need to speak. Please,” she added. 

She was uncomfortable asking, that much Tony knew for sure. He was ready to tell her no, but Loki answered. “Fine.” He stepped back from the door. 

Tony did the same, but he wasn’t bothering to hide how unhappy he was about the whole situation. Mrs. Odinson smiled politely at him as she stepped inside. 

She’d never been inside the house before. Tony didn’t like it. At all. 

“We can speak in the study,” Loki said, leading her towards the nearest hallway. Tony didn’t know which room Loki was referring to. He just followed between Loki and his mother. 

Loki chose the closest door. It was a sparsely used guest room, but it had a table and chairs, so he supposed it could’ve been considered a study. Tony honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in the room for longer than a couple minutes. Mrs. Odinson stopped outside the door after Loki and Tony had both entered. 

“Loki,” she said. “Could we speak in private?” 

Tony’s head swiveled towards Loki. 

Loki’s demeanor didn’t change at all. “Whatever you have to say,” Loki said, “you can say in front of Tony.” 

Suddenly something clicked and Tony realized that Loki was fuming. It was a silent, boiling rage that appeared entirely calm on the surface, but Tony felt it. Loki didn’t move, didn’t react to his mother’s unspoken pleading. He just waited. Finally, Mrs. Odinson took one apprehensive glance at Tony before stepping inside the room. 

They sat at the rectangular table, Tony and Loki on one side and Loki’s mother on the opposite. It was not unlike one of his boardroom desks. Tony’s heartbeat got a chance to catch up with the rest of him. He tried to ignore his pulse, staying focused on the woman across from him. 

Loki spread out in his chair, leaning back and crossing his arms with a badassery Tony would’ve loved in another context. 

Mrs. Odinson set her purse down, focus entirely on Loki. For the first time since she’d arrived, Tony noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes and the grooves of wrinkles around her lips. 

“Loki,” she said. “I’m sorry.” 

The two words were met with silence. She shifted nervously in her seat. “I thought we’d have time to talk about it. I had no idea how much I’d upset you.” Tony rolled his eyes. No one seemed to notice. “I’m sorry, dear. I—didn’t mean for it to happen. I had no idea you’d elope.” 

“Then you should’ve just apologized,” Tony said. Loki’s hand set against his thigh under the table, a warning. Mrs. Odinson frowned, appalled that Tony was there, but it was obvious that there was nothing she could do or say about it. She wasn’t going to try. 

“You should have apologized,” Loki said. Tony let out a shaky breath. “We weren’t going to wait for your apology. I’m not accepting Dad’s phone call.”

“Your father’s phone call,” she repeated aloud. 

Mrs. Odinson’s gaze snapped to her son. “What did your father say?” 

It was sharp, questioning. 

Loki tightened his crossed arms, setting his jaw. “His usual spiel,” Loki said bitterly. “His apology was worthless.” Tony stilled. Loki hadn’t told him there’d been an apology. “Tony and I are married. That’s not changing,” Loki said, building up to something. Tony shifted his legs, clutching at his thighs. “And you can either accept and support us, or I’ll tell you the same thing I told Dad!” 

Tony reached for Loki’s thigh. Carefully, in what he hoped conveyed reassurance, he set his hand down. It took a moment, but Loki’s hand met his beneath the table, slipping between Tony’s hand and Loki’s thigh to hold Tony’s hand instead. Tony squeezed. Loki let go, but it didn’t feel like abandonment. The exchange took only seconds. 

Mrs. Odinson’s lips parted. She seemed to be thrown off for a moment. Then she sat back in her chair, mouth closed. She folded her hands in her lap and looked out the window. “I love you very much, Loki.” 

She sounded tired, frayed. 

Loki breathed in. 

“Then apologize to Tony,” Loki said. Tony blinked. 

Mrs. Odinson turned back to Tony, and her scrutinizing glare was baffling in how powerful it still managed to feel after all the time Tony’d spent resenting her. 

“Tony,” she said. “I apologize.” She licked her lips. “You were always a kind boy.” 

It seemed as there was so much more she wanted to say, but nothing came. Tony couldn’t believe she’d spoken.

And he didn’t care. Not really. He didn’t think he’d ever like her. 

But when he glanced over at Loki, there was a fair degree of relief in his posture. Instantly, Tony saw all of the progress Loki had made in separating himself from his idealized mother coming undone. “I,” Tony started, frantic to seize the moment while he could. “I—” Fuck. He wished he’d had time to prepare for this. “Since, the first time I saw you with your son at lunch, I knew something was wrong.” Tony blinked, the room a little smaller. “You threaten and cajole him into—”

“I—” Mrs. Odinson started, just as Loki said his name. Tony ignored them both. 

“Things he doesn’t want to do. First you told him you wanted him to see a psychiatrist, then you cut him off because he was struggling, then you—”

“—You don’t know my family,” Mrs. Odinson hissed at him. Loki’s hand was searching for him again but Tony wasn’t responding. The words had to get out, like the first beat of wind against a kindling fire. 

“I know you make Loki miserable,” Tony said. “I know you’ve fucked with his head since day one, and he loves you anyway—”

“Tony!” Loki’s scolding plea stopped him in his tracks. 

“Don’t assume you know my family,” Mrs. Odinson warned Tony. 

Tony raised his chin. He could pretend it was a boardroom. He could pretend this wasn’t like standing up to Howard, or hell, his own mother. Except different, because he’d never stood against his family the way Loki had. Alarm bells were ringing in his head. “Yeah, well Loki’s _my_ family.” Tony seethed, trying to drill it into her brain. “And I’m not going to stand by while you yank him around. So if you’re going to try to make his life miserable because you don’t like me—”

“—it’s not that I don’t like you,” Mrs. Odinson interrupted. She stared at her nails in her lap, but it was the nervousness in her expression that caused Tony to pause. “It is more complicated than that,” she said, uncomfortable. “You boys are young. You don’t understand—”

“Understand what?” Tony cut her off. “That you’re making this more complicated than it needs to be?” He was ready to lay into her about every single fucking grievance he’d ever had. 

“Mother,” Loki said, so much softer beside him. There was a faint blush on Loki’s cheeks, and he wasn’t making eye contact with Tony. “You either support us or you don’t. Either way, Tony and I are staying together. We’re married.” 

She stared at her son, the emotion too complex for Tony to really get a good read on.

“Loki,” she said. Her brow bowed with sympathy. “I know.” She leaned forward. “I was just trying to protect you, I—”

“No. You weren’t,” Loki cut her off, cold. She stared at him. It was a few moments before Loki elaborated. “I have never complained to you about Tony. This is about what you and Dad want.” Loki’s arms parted to grip the arms of his chair. “And Dad can spew whatever bullshit he wants, but I’m finished.” 

Her pale eyes turned towards Tony. “I think I’ve made my position clear,” Tony told her, feeling vicious. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Loki. I’m sorry—”

“—Fine,” Loki sniped. 

She wrung her hands together. “I didn’t come over here to have an argument.” 

Loki didn’t move, but that boiling rage was there again. 

“I am sorry, Loki. I wish I could have been at your wedding.” 

Tony turned to Loki, expecting his husband to meet him with a look, but Loki’s pensive gaze was still set on his mother. “Is that all, Mother?” She stared at him, and Tony knew there were words that’d only be said when he was out of earshot. 

“Will you take my calls again?” She asked. 

“I’ll consider it,” Loki answered. 

“May I see your wedding photos?” 

Loki shrugged noncommittally. “No,” Tony said. “You can’t.” Mrs. Odinson glanced at Tony before moving to stand up. 

“Do you hate me?” She asked Loki. 

It was a long, quiet moment. 

“Sometimes.” 

There was a slight tremor along her lips. “I see,” she mumbled. 

Tony got up. “I can see you to the door, Mrs. Odinson.” Loki’s chair moved out beside him. 

It was a brief, agonizing walk in silence to the front door. Mrs. Odinson seemed wounded as she glanced back at her son. She only nodded, that tremor in her lips again. She reached for his arm. 

Tony stared at her long fingers resting on his husband’s arm with a sick stomach. “See you later, Mum.” She said goodbye, and not a moment later, Loki was moving to close the door. 

When Loki turned to look at Tony, all of the exhaustion Loki had been holding back broke through. 

Loki combed his fingers through his hair. “Sorry about that.” 

“Lo,” Tony said. He pulled his husband into a tight hug. He didn’t expect the feverish teeth and tongue on his neck a few moments later, or the groan that escaped his own lips. 

Loki pulled away, blinking. Tony found himself wondering if Loki would pass out. “That could’ve been worse,” Loki said. 

“I think we gained some ground,” Tony said. Loki nodded. 

“I want a cup of coffee.” Loki said it the same way someone would say they needed a drink or a shot. 

Tony’s hands were reluctant to leave him. He kept close to Loki as they moved into the kitchen. Tony settled onto his usual barstool to wait. “You didn’t tell me your Dad apologized.” 

Loki didn’t glance up from where he was stirring creamer into his coffee. “It didn’t mean anything.” The spoon clattered against the ceramic. “He says says shit to get into people’s heads.” 

“So you were just going to let him mess with your head all alone?” Tony sounded fucking pissed. He didn’t know where all of the anger came from. Loki turned his head towards him, wide eyed for a moment. 

“You didn’t need to hear his garbage.” He tossed the spoon into the sink. It clanked into the side. 

Tony’s face must’ve said everything for him, because when Loki finally looked Tony’s way again he caved. “He—” Loki glanced towards the ceiling, licking his lips. “Brought up an old associate of your Dad’s. He was just trying to get me to question you—”

“—Who was it?” Tony demanded. 

Loki stared down into his coffee. “Joseph Manfredi.” 

Tony huffed. Like he hadn’t heard that one before back when he was tabloid bait. Wait. Did Loki buy that? “Did you believe him?” 

Loki wiped some coffee from his lip. “It doesn’t matter either way.” 

Of course it fucking mattered. “What do you mean?” 

Loki was more resolute with him this time. “If your dad was dealing to him or not, I know you wouldn’t, so what’s it fucking matter?” Loki answered, defensive. 

Tony’s heart rate had picked up again. He was quietly thinking he needed to take his meds, but he didn’t want to get up and leave right now. “He knew my dad,” Tony said. “They grew up in the same neighborhood as kids.” Tony scratched at his beard. “But as far as I know, my dad didn’t stay friends with the guy, or deal to him.” 

Loki closed his eyes for a moment, then sipped his coffee. 

“Did he say anything else?” Tony demanded. 

Loki shook his head. “That was it.” He stood taller as Tony stared at him. “It was,” he insisted. 

“I want some coffee.” He got up. Loki didn’t move from behind the counter. Tony felt fucking wrung out. “What do you think’s going to happen after this?” He asked when he’d had his first sip. 

Loki leaned against the countertop. “Nothing.” His lips disappeared behind the rim of the mug. “They’ve apologized. Welcome to hell with my family.” 

“They’re assholes,” Tony said. 

Loki conceded the point with a faint shrug. “They’re fucked up,” Loki offered. 

Tony was just about to build on that when he realized how unhappy Loki’d been saying it. “Well,” Tony said. “We did just discuss my dad being an arms dealer,” he said. “And the guy never even said he liked me, so I think we both won the shitty dad lottery.” 

Loki closed his eyes again, breathing in. 

“You want to go swim?” Tony asked. “I need to blow off steam.” 

“I’m too tired to swim,” Loki said. 

“Come sit outside while I swim then,” Tony said. 

“Okay,” Loki said. Tony abandoned his mug on the countertop. 

Tony felt twitchy. The second that they were out on the concrete, Tony started to unzip his jeans. “You’re going to swim nude?” Loki asked beside him, half-judging, half-amused. 

“Problem?” Tony asked, tossing his shirt aside. He kicked off his jeans and dove into the lukewarm water. It was an instant relief to feel the weightlessness the water brought to his body, cocooning around him before he broke the surface. Loki was taking a seat on the concrete at the end of the pool, legs crossed as he cradled his mug in his hands. 

Tony made his first lap, stopping at the edge to say hello to Loki. 

Loki smiled down ruefully at him. 

“Sure you don’t want to hop in?” Tony asked. Loki shook his head. “Alright, Lo.” 

Tony made a few more laps, ranting in his mind about everything until he’d calmed down enough, before stopping again. He wiped the water from his eyes as he caught his breath with burning lungs, staring up at Loki like a hapless mermaid. “Sorry about snapping at you about the coffee this morning,” Tony said. 

“It’s alright.” Loki set his mug down on the concrete, weaving his fingers together in his lap. “We’re stressed.” He pressed his lips together. “Sorry about—everything.” 

“Don’t be,” Tony said. Loki traced one of the patterns on his fingers. Tony had caught his breath. The restless ache in him was catching up again. He started another lap. 

Loki left once and returned with his mug. The preoccupied, ruminative expression hadn’t left his face since they’d come down to the pool, but there was always a softness to it when Tony stopped to catch his breath beside him. 

When at last Tony was too tired to swim anymore, Loki suggested they go to bed. They’d made it through a shitty night. Loki’s arms pulled Tony in to be the little spoon the moment they got under the covers. Tony passed out instantly.


	19. Chapter 19

Tony’s press release about their marriage went better than Loki expected. Far better. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d been expecting, perhaps something with helicopters circling the house while an army of reporters dogged him to and from work, but it was remarkably quiet. Unrequested wedding gifts started showing up at the house, but that was the only sign that anything had happened at all. The gifts were all nice but useless nicknacks that were piling up in a spare bedroom. 

Loki’s mother had sent a gift too. It’d been a day before the announcement was made, so Loki didn’t think she’d been influenced by that. He seriously suspected that Tony had been considering tossing it in the trash without telling him. It’d just been something in the look on Tony’s face when Loki found him holding the box. 

She’d gotten him a set of dinner plates from the same designer she’d fawned over in her own kitchen. They were nice, but Loki had tucked them away in a closet in the same guest bedroom that had his old mattress resting up against the wall. 

The first day back at work after the announcement, Loki had held his breath, thinking that it was certain that one of his staff would’ve heard. But nothing happened. Another day went by, and then another, until finally it had been a week and Loki dropped his guard. 

He’d been meaning to tell them, but it was so much easier to simply work and run his business without them squawking over him. 

So when he was crowded by Peter on Monday morning as he came in the door, he wasn’t expecting it. 

“You married Tony Stark?” Peter asked, several decibels too high. 

Loki wasn’t even given a chance to respond. His sous chef rounded in on him. “I lost twenty bucks because of you!” Verity crossed her arms. “I put my money on a quiet, nerdy type—”

“—which doesn’t count because celebrity was it,” one of his station chefs cut in. Clearly they’d all been having this argument for a while. 

His eyes fell on his station chef. He was fanning a line of bills, waving them back and forth as if the kitchen were too hot. 

“Can you introduce me?” Peter asked, eager to get Loki’s attention. “I bet he knows a bunch of cool tech for my photography stuff—” Loki tuned Peter out as the room became way too loud, his staff all yelling over each other, bickering about their bet. 

Loki raised his hands. The whole kitchen silenced at the simple gesture. “I’ll show you pictures,” Loki started, because he’d promised that. “But Tony is very busy—” 

“—I told you he wouldn’t—” One of his station chefs interrupted. Loki silenced him with a look. 

“So don't expect to see him here,” Loki said. There were disappointed, petulant groans around him. Loki knew this wouldn’t be the end of it. 

It wasn’t really that he didn’t want them to meet Tony.

It was that he wasn’t ready for Tony to meet them. 

Because Tony would fucking _love it_. He’d have a million things to say about all of them, and he’d make Loki laugh with his observations, and then he’d always have a hundred things to say about Loki’s work stories. Loki’s gaze paused on Peter. Tony’d probably hook Peter up with an internship and bags of Stark swag and Loki would never see him hanging out around the kitchen again. 

Okay, it wouldn’t be awful to introduce Tony. But not today. “Are you all working or discussing my love life?” Loki prompted them. 

“Will you tell us about him?” Peter asked, almost whined. 

Loki felt the smirk on his mouth that Tony loved so much. “No,” Loki lied. “Get back to work. And Peter, get to your real job.” 

The kid left with way too much bounce in his step to have taken Loki seriously. 

 

That evening, Loki found himself on the couch with Tony, half-heartedly watching the evening news. 

Tony had his arm along the back of the couch, his hand almost behind Loki. Tony had five o'clock stubble going on and had changed out of a three piece suit and into sweatpants and a t-shirt the moment he got home. With Loki’s feet propped up on the table near Tony’s, Loki appeared entirely at ease. He hadn’t even bothered to change out of his shirt from work. The commercials droned on as they sat there in the flickering light. 

“Hey, Lo.” Tony’s voice was soft, tired. “You uh—” There was an uptick of energy in his voice. “Hear from your parents lately?” 

“No,” Loki said. He kept his expression indifferent, directed towards the TV. “I’m not expecting anything.” 

“Okay.” Tony let it drop. A box of pizza spun on the TV, followed by animated drink cups. Tony scratched at his beard. His toes wriggled back and forth before he took what he seemed to think was a surreptitious glance of Loki. 

Loki sighed. “Tony,” he said. “My mother’s been—hesitant with me. I think she feels bad about it, but it’s not like I’ve given her a lot of time to talk with me.” Loki traced his fingers over the design on his arm. He wasn’t trying to bridge the distance at the moment. “This isn’t one of those things that’s going to fix itself overnight.” 

“I know,” Tony answered. 

Loki struggled not to roll his eyes. The strain in Tony’s voice said otherwise. Loki scooted his hips over on the cushion, closing the gap between them. Tony’s arm slipped down over his shoulders as the heat of their sides pressed together, unwinding the knot in Loki’s stomach. Tony’s hand began to play in his hair. 

“What’ve you added to the honeymoon?” Loki asked, trying to keep Tony’s mind occupied. 

“Hey,” Tony chided. “You’re not allowed to know. It’s a secret.” 

“You’ve got to at least let me know what I have to pack, Tony.” 

“Ummm…I mean, I’ll let you pack a few things, but you have to let me pack all the important stuff.” 

Loki made a more put upon sigh than he felt. “I’ll end up with a suitcase of nothing but socks.” 

“Is that really so bad?” 

Loki grinned. “Tony,” he said. “I can’t spend the entirety of our honeymoon naked.” 

“You can’t?” 

“Don’t you want to take me out and show me off?” There was a flicker of something, maybe surprise, in Tony’s expression, but then it was gone. Tony’s arm came off of his shoulders. 

“Do you want to see touristy things?” Tony asked. 

Loki shrugged. “I had plenty of family vacations doing that as a kid.” 

Tony nodded, thinking. “But you still want to go out, right?” 

“Yes,” Loki said. Tony was taking it so seriously suddenly. “Is that a problem?” 

“No! No. I mean, there’s lots of not being out, but we’re going out too—I mean, I picked a great hotel, not, not insane like you warned me, but it’s really good, I hope that’s not spoiling anything that we aren’t staying in a hostel—”

“—I would’ve been genuinely surprised if we were,” Loki assured him. Tony patted his thigh. 

“I know you would’ve been, eclair lord.” Loki didn’t react to the new nickname, knowing better than to encourage it. “Now stop asking me questions before I give something away.” 

A decidedly evil grin spread over Loki’s lips. “Oh, but what’s the fun in that?” 

Tony froze, as if by being still he’d avoid Loki’s predatory gaze. When that didn’t work, he tried sass. “You get to enjoy an amazing surprise honeymoon planned by your wonderful husband?” 

Loki hummed, allowing the point. He let himself relax against Tony’s side again. “Will you give me hints?” 

“For the fifth time, no.” 

“Spoil sport.” 

“Brat.” 

They fell into companionable silence, watching the television again. 

 

Later, when Loki had completely lost interest in watching, he looked over and found that his husband had already fallen asleep. 

Tony’s breaths came shallow, quiet. He looked so peaceful. Loki’s gaze turned tender and soft. 

This life was so much better than he’d ever thought he could ask for. 

Loki’s family could be damned if they thought to deny him this. Loki reached for Tony’s hand, gently holding it for a moment. “Tony.” 

Tony was a fairly light sleeper. He blinked awake, disoriented as he took in the TV and then looked for Loki. When Tony found him, Loki smiled at him, warm and content. 

“You fell asleep,” Loki said. 

“No shit Sherlock,” Tony muttered, rubbing his eye. 

Fighting off his own yawn, Loki answered, “Fuck you, Watson.” Tony glanced down at their linked hands. 

“Feeling affectionate, are we?” 

“I only meant to drag you up the stairs.” 

Tony beamed at him. “Sure you did, you big softie.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“I’ll call you it ten times now.” 

“Tony.” Tony grinned at him. “Tony,” Loki warned. The grin got worse. Loki sighed, disgusted. Tony stood up, tugging Loki with him. 

“Let’s go to bed, Lo.” 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Loki said. Tony let go and scratched his fingers through his hair, then stretched as they started for the stairs. “Were you dreaming about our honeymoon?” 

Tony shot him a suspicious look. 

“What did that dream look like?” Loki asked. 

“Like you crawling into bed without trying to pry it out of me,” Tony answered, swatting his ass. Loki shook his head, fighting off a smile. Teasing Tony about figuring out the surprise was infinitely more fun that whatever place it’d end up being.


	20. Chapter 20

Tony quietly closed the door to his office, giving his secretary a polite smile as he did. Then Tony paced to the far window. He pulled out his cellphone. 

Tony wasn’t sure if this qualified as going around Loki or not, but Bruce had said he didn’t see why it would hurt. That was the permission Tony had needed to hear. The idea had been buzzing around his head for too long. 

Thor picked up on the second ring. “How’s it going, Tony?” Instantly, Tony pictured Thor sitting back in his office, shooting a foam basketball into a hoop on the door.

“Do you have a moment?” Tony asked, even though the ease in Thor’s voice had already told him the answer.

Tony’s question seemed to put Thor on alert, though. “Is something wrong?” 

“No,” Tony said. He scratched at his hair, watching the tree branches outside the window sway back and forth. 

“If you’re calling to ask Loki’s vacation preferences again, I’ll remind you that you shouldn’t be basing it on what Loki thought when he was seven. I’m sure he won’t spend his whole trip with you pouting because he didn’t get to sit in the front seat.” 

Tony eased up a bit remembering the stories Thor had told him. That’d been a fun phone call. “No, I was going to ask about something else. You, I, well I was kind of getting at—are things okay with your parents? Loki says it’s alright and he’s acting normal, but your mom’s not really talked to him and your dad—” Tony was jumbling up his words as it all poured out. 

Thor leapt in to reassure him. “It is as fine as can be expected.” Tony rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Like ‘the minute hand just moved on the Doomsday clock but no-one really cares anyway so don’t worry about it’ kind of fine, or the ‘if you don't have a bunker and ten years of supplies stashed away don’t even bother worrying about it you’re already screwed’ kind of fine?” 

There was a pause and then Thor let out a faint sigh. “They will learn to accept your marriage just as they have Jane and I’s.” Ha. Yeah, that was reassuring. Tony bit on his lips as he watched a security van zip through his parking lot on patrol. “Don’t worry, Tony,” Thor said, all boisterous and light. It only made Tony suspicious. “It’s fine. Do you need any more help planning for your honeymoon?” 

“Not right now,” Tony said. He pretty much had it all worked out. 

“Then I’ll let you go. The partners were just about to head out for drinks at the bar.” 

“Have fun, big guy.” 

After they’d said their goodbyes and hung up, Tony stared at his phone’s home screen. Normally it had a car on it, sometimes schematics he was working on, but this week he’d set it to a photo of Loki and him at their wedding. 

The phone call hadn’t really made him feel better. Tony opened his office door and wandered back over to his desk. It wasn’t until a half hour later that Jane’s words came back to him. He felt like an idiot. _You don’t have to talk to me about it, but I want you to know that you can._ Maybe she was the one he should’ve called all along. 

 

Jane invited him out to her house to talk the next day. Tony found himself on her rooftop observatory with his hands in his pockets, staring awkwardly up at the late afternoon sky. Thor and Azalea were out on errands and Jane was making repairs to a simple telescope. 

“You can grab a seat,” Jane reminded him. 

Tony smiled at the outdoor patio furniture spread out on the paved surface. A small border of boxed plants ran around the perimeter, along with what looked to be a recently installed fence. Tony resisted adjusting his sunglasses as he sat down. 

Jane’s hand stilled. She peeked at him from behind the telescope when he didn’t say anything. “I heard she dropped by your house,” Jane said. 

Tony made a soft, breathless laugh. “Yeah.” The smile felt tight on his face. “She—We hadn’t been expecting it. Loki was cleaning out some books in the library when she rang the doorbell.” It amazed Tony how easily the words came. He’d never really gone running to Jane with problems unless they were of a scientific nature, and even then, it’d been limited and mostly for conversational enjoyment. “Loki had her sit with us in one of the guest bedrooms to talk, and I—well I’ve seen him pissed before, but never like this at his mother. He says he’s fine now, but—” Tony shrugged his shoulders. 

“What do you think?” Jane asked. 

Tony shrugged again. “I don’t know.” 

“You know him better than anyone else,” Jane said. 

Tony cocked his head to the side. Thor had known Loki way longer. So had his parents, even if their view was warped. “I—” He said, dragging out the word. Jane didn’t seem to follow. “You and Thor have both known him longer,” Tony pointed out.

Something tender and sympathetic set on Jane’s face. “But you know him better,” she said. “Tony—” She broke into a smile, looking away for a moment. “You’re _married_.” She let that sink in. “If you think something’s off with him, it probably is. Just because Thor and I have known him for more years doesn’t mean that we know him better than you. I certainly don’t.” 

Tony accepted the point with a subtle grin. It warmed his chest. “It’s not that I think something’s off with him. He seems good right now, it’s just—I’m worried about him,” Tony admitted. “I don’t know how bad it’s going to get, I don’t know if I should be doing something, or fixing it, or looking over my shoulder for the next bullshit trick from his parents. I mean, I feel like I’m constantly looking behind my back, waiting for something to happen.” 

Jane set down the tool in her hands. She clasped her hands together, resting her chin on them and thinking for a moment before answering. “It’s not going to stop feeling like that.” Tony’s heart sank. “But,” she said, “once you stand up to them a couple of times, you’ll stop caring about it as much. Or at least, I did. I don’t really care what they think of me anymore, but—” She licked her lips, staring down at her hands. “Worrying about Thor, and now Azalea, is the hard part.” 

A surge of sympathy for her welled up. He was glad that he and Loki didn’t have kids. He couldn’t imagine how much harder that would be. 

Jane sat back in her chair, twisting her lips in thought. She didn’t make eye contact as she spoke, but thoughtfully considered everything she was saying. “Though, honestly, despite waiting and feeling as though something monumental is going to happen—it hasn’t. I mean, I kept them out of the delivery room, and I gave Azalea the name I wanted, and Thor’s gotten a little better at standing up to them. The—arguments with them have been the worst part.” She squeezed her clasped hands. “They don’t pull their punches.” 

Jane brushed her hair back over her shoulder. “And I’m sure that if Thor and I were less financially independent, it’d be a lot harder to stand up against them, but they don’t really have anything to hold over our heads. If they want to be a part of our lives, they have to respect what we ask.” Jane adjusted the telescope, almost absentmindedly, but not quite. 

Tony waited, simply listening. 

“Before Loki met you,” Jane said, “it was easier for them to manipulate Loki because he was dependent on them, and they weren’t making it easy for him to break free. Despite what they might’ve said,” she clarified. “His mom might’ve not liked paying his rent, but it was something that gave them a grip on him, which I think is something they rarely felt like they had.” 

Tony sat there for a moment, impressed with the depth of her insight, processing his own thoughts. In retrospect, Loki had been depressed in that apartment. Tony wasn’t sure if it was a scar that’d never leave him. Loki was still cagey about money and being independent, even if he’d improved significantly. Despite Loki’s astonishing willingness to let Tony plan their honeymoon as a surprise, Tony knew he couldn’t drop money on it that’d make Loki uncomfortable. Loki had negotiated a budget for the trip that Tony was going to stick to, if only because he didn’t want the colossal meltdown that disobeying it would bring. 

Tony figured that some of Loki’s issues with money and trips were in part his fault, anyway. 

“Are you happy right now?” Jane asked, startling him out of his thoughts. 

Tony leaned back in the reclined chair for the first time since he’d stiffly sat down. It reclined more than he’d expected. Tony caught himself, awkwardly trying to rearrange himself with grace. Then he considered the question. 

“Yeah,” he said. He…really was. 

The last few weeks, aside from the whole parents thing, had been really fucking great, actually. He loved being with Loki. Work was going well. He was excited about their honeymoon. He was waking up every morning with Loki tangled with him. He…was pretty damn happy, actually. 

It was simple stuff, like enjoying the waffles that Loki made in the morning because he was in a good mood, or knowing that Loki was going to be there when he got home and the house wasn’t going to feel empty. Tony didn’t feel like anything had really changed since they’d gotten married, except that maybe he and Loki both felt more secure with one another. Tony didn’t have any real doubts about Loki being there for him, no matter what. 

“I am,” Tony said, realizing that he was smiling. 

A quiet smile mirrored on Jane’s lips. “Then focus on that,” Jane said. “The Odinsons—” She shrugged. “I’d rather not have them for in-laws, but at least it gives me a greater appreciation for my own parents.” She almost laughed at that, lighthearted. There was a subtle discomfort in the line of her shoulders, but Tony was certain that there was one in his own. 

“I just hate looking over my shoulder all the time,” Tony said. 

“That’s what you’ve got me for,” Jane said. “We can scare them off together.” Tony knew she was joking. It was such a heavy thing to joke about, but he couldn’t find fault in doing it. 

Jane put her hands together in her lap, watching him like she was giving him time to say something. Tony scratched at his beard. He felt sort of better, but he couldn't shake his anxiety for Loki. Maybe Jane could tell, or maybe she just said the right thing anyway. “Loki’s been handling them for a long time,” Jane told him. “He’s smart. I think he’s—realistic about who his parents are,” Jane said. “Probably more so than Thor,” she thought aloud. “If he tells you he’s fine, I think you can trust him.”

“I do,” Tony said. “It’s the other variables I’m worried about.” 

“You can’t control the dependent variable,” Jane said. 

Well, if you got the independent right you could. But he saw her point. 

Tony steered the conversation towards science before the intense heart to heart could remind him of the days when he poured out everything to a one night stand knowing he’d damn well make sure he never saw them again. 

It’d been a good choice to take Jane up on her offer, though. By the time Tony got home, his thoughts had left Loki’s family. 

 

Somehow, Tony still managed to get home before his husband. Tony waited at his usual barstool spot. Loki walked in, carrying a brown to go box with his company’s logo on it. “Are there scones in there?” Tony asked hopefully. In reply, Loki cracked the lid. Tony grimaced. “Scones aren’t supposed to be filled with green stuff.” 

“It’s spinach,” Loki told him with fond exasperation. “You eat it all the time.” 

“But it’s in a triangle pretending to be a scone.” 

“It’s spankopita,” Loki said. “That’s phyllo dough, and you eat that all the time too.” Tony frowned. He wasn’t sure about that.

Tony got out of the chair, coming around the counter to wrap his arms around a mildly surprised Loki. An amused smirk appeared on Loki’s face as Tony leaned into him, squeezing tight. “What do you want me to make?” Loki questioned him. 

If Tony’d actually been gunning to have Loki make something, he was sure he would’ve been able to get it. “Nothing,” Tony said, setting his chin on Loki’s chest and staring up at him. Loki’s expression softened a fraction, but didn’t lose the suspicious amusement. “Unless you’re on the menu.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “How many times are you going to use that line?” 

“Depends,” Tony said. “Does it still work?” 

Loki laughed, looking away. “I suppose,” he relented, his arm wrapping back around Tony. “You’re in a good mood today.” 

“I went over and saw Jane. We traded science secrets. Azalea wasn’t home, before you ask. Thor took her out with him to run errands.” Tony blinked his long lashes, smiling up at Loki. “And I’ve got a gorgeous husband. So yeah, I’m in a good mood.” 

“Now I _know_ you want something,” Loki said, brushing Tony’s hair away from his forehead. Tony leaned into the motion, adoring the small gesture. 

“Well, if you’re offering…” Tony grinned. 

Loki’s eyes narrowed into slits, but he wasn’t able to wipe the pleased smirk off his lips. “What?” 

“Kiss me,” Tony said, bratty and flippant. He didn’t expect for Loki to lean down, catching his lips with confidence while he grabbed Tony’s shoulder. Tony eagerly parted his lips, pushing up onto his toes for a bit more leverage, when Loki’s warm mouth disappeared, leaving him lonely for the split second it took teasing teeth to find and nip at his neck. 

Tony groaned as his pulse jumped up between those clever lips. 

Loki’s warm chuckle brought him back to the moment. Tony blinked. Loki was smirking at him. The hand on his shoulder moved to his neck, cupping the back of it while his thumb trailed over the saliva he’d left behind. 

“There you go,” Loki said. 

Tony fell back down onto his heels. 

“Is it my turn to ask for something?” Loki asked. 

“But I didn’t get to ask for anything,” Tony complained, ready to make his case. Suddenly Loki kissed the corner of his lips, then his nose, and cheek, and forehead, until Tony laughed, pushing at Loki’s chest. “Fine, okay, I asked you to kiss me, but I had another idea too—” Loki kissed his cheekbone, causing Tony to blink and shove at his chest again, trying not to laugh. “You’re in a good mood too,” he observed. 

A tender hand tightened at his waist. Tony leaned into it. “I don’t see why I should be when you insulted my food—”

Tony’s mouth dropped open. “I didn’t! I wasn’t _insulting_ you—”

Loki’s laugh cut off his argument. “I know,” he said. There was amusement in his eyes, and Tony didn’t know what it was exactly, but something about it was making him melt. “Now do I get to ask for something too?” There was the Loki he knew. 

Tony pursed his lips. He glanced away and then back at Loki, as if he was really considering it. “I guess. But only because you held up your end.” 

“Well thank you for being so generous,” Loki quipped. 

“What do you want?” Tony reminded him, curious and slightly unsure, truth be told. Maybe Loki would use the opportunity to have him clean something in the kitchen. 

“Remember those finger vibrators that came in our last order as freebies?” 

“Yes,” Tony said, already liking where this was going.

“Let’s try them out,” Loki said. 

They were both amused at the suggestion, almost definitely because they both knew how they’d poked fun at the things when they’d arrived anyway. They were still in their plastic packaging. “On the couch?” Tony suggested. 

“Sure.” Loki let go of him. “I can go upstairs and get them.” 

“Wait,” Tony said. “You know what it’s a crime that we don’t have?” 

“A bread warming drawer,” Loki answered without missing a beat. 

“Add it to the remodel list,” Tony said. He’d already heard Loki’s complaint on this. A bread warmer. Wasn’t a few seconds in the microwave enough to call it good? “I’ll tell you what we need to get,” Tony said. 

Loki raised an eyebrow when Tony paused, holding out on prompting. “What?” Loki finally caved and asked. 

“A sex dungeon.” 

Loki almost laughed. “You mean you don’t have one? I’ve been waiting for you to invite me in this whole time.” 

“Yeah, it’s something that I’m only comfortable sharing with people who I’ve been married to for two years…” Loki rolled his eyes. “But we should totally convert one of the basement rooms into one. We’re running out of room for stuff under our bed.” 

“Right, because putting it in the basement isn’t creepy at all.” 

“One of the bedrooms?” 

“How’re you going to explain that when someone gets the wrong door trying to find their guest bedroom?” 

“No one stays over except our friends, and if Clint made that mistake the only problem would be telling him to keep his curious hands off everything.” 

Loki made a scowl of disgust, but it was quickly replaced by interest. “Can you put a hidden door in the library and then wall off the adjoining bedroom?” 

Tony gave Loki a look like he should know better. “Easy.” It’d be a pain in the ass since those bookshelves were made into the wall, but whatever. He could do it. “You might lose some of your precious book space, though.” 

“I’ll just carry it over into our sex dungeon.” 

“You are not putting bookshelves in our sex dungeon, Loki.” 

Loki smiled at him, dropping it. “I’ll be right back down.” Tony didn’t move while he watched Loki leave, feeling perfectly content. As Tony went to the couch, he started seriously considering the sex dungeon. It would be kind of fun to have. Why didn’t he have one already? 

When Loki came back downstairs, he had both of his hands cupped into fists. He extended them out towards Tony. “Pick one.” 

Tony started to consider which hand was likely holding which vibrator based on Loki’s grip, but he got distracted by the patterns on Loki’s hands, the tendons rising up from pale skin. He picked the hand with Loki’s wedding ring on it. Just because. 

Loki flipped his hand over, lying it flat. Tony sighed. “I get the tentacle one,” he said, grabbing the oddly curved tendril. Soft pink cups ran along the underside. “Please don’t make any tentacle porn jokes,” Tony said as he slipped it on. 

“You brought it up, not me,” Loki said. 

Tony watched Loki slip a purplish blue vibrator on his finger. There were a dozen tiny cone shaped nodules sticking out and a pair of rabbit ear prongs on the end that made it look like an alien. Or a millipede. Immediately, Loki clicked it on. 

He held it experimentally against his own wrist. 

“What’s the verdict?” Tony asked. 

There was a twitch at Loki’s lips. “Lie down.” 

Tony did so, eager anticipation rocketing through him as Loki quickly straddled him, pinning Tony’s thighs and hips down. Loki bent down over him, soft lips at Tony’s, followed by an eager tongue that made Tony grasp at Loki’s shirt. He forgot about the hand held away from him and the buzz of the vibrator. 

Until it was up his shirt, pressing insistently with more wriggling fingers at his ticklish side. “Loki!” 

Loki burst out laughing as Tony laughed involuntarily, squirming against Loki as he struggled to turn his own on for revenge. Then Loki was the one laughing and calling out his name, rolling his shoulder up as Tony teased the vibrator into the juncture of his shoulder and neck. Loki’s face flushed as he pulled away from Tony, releasing his hold. 

Tony caught his breath, a challenging grin lighting up his face. “You planned that you little shit.” 

“I—” Loki gasped for breath. “Honestly didn’t—” He breathed in. “I just thought of it when—I felt it.” 

Tony shook his head, grabbing Loki’s hip. “Clever.” 

Loki smiled back at him, shameless. 

Tony slipped his fingers in past Loki’s waistband. Loki watched him expectantly, rocking his hips as Tony’s fingers teased. It was enough of a distraction that he didn’t notice Tony’s other hand going up his shirt until the vibrator was already at his side. “Ah—Tony, I’m not as—ticklish!” Loki threw his weight forward, pinning Tony again. “I’m going to get you—”

“Really?” Tony couldn’t stop the hand that went up his shirt, but he could catch Loki’s other hand without giving up the one under Loki’s shirt. For a moment they held each other’s stare, both struggling not to laugh, daring the other. 

Loki moved first, sweeping down and catching Tony in a kiss that brought out all the fireworks. It really did, Tony let himself relax and relish it, but he knew Loki too well to fall for the distraction. They were both holding the others free hand now, neither giving any leeway. 

Tony slipped his hand out from under Loki’s shirt and went for the juncture at his neck again. 

“Ahh—!” Loki curled with the motion, losing some of his grip on Tony’s free hand. “That’s chea—”

Tony thrust his hips up, using the motion to knock Loki off balance. The hand under Tony’s shirt slipped out, and in the quick tangle of limbs, they found themselves holding each other’s wrists, knees planted firmly on the couch as they pushed their weight against the other with gridlocked hands. 

“What do you plan to do, Tony?” Loki’s grin was almost feral, but the delight in his eyes over the game was intoxicating. 

Tony leaned his face forward, not giving up a single bit of the pressure in their wrists. He pulled every ounce of seduction he had into the look, trying to tempt Loki. “That depends on what you’re going to do.” 

“I’m going to calmly and respectfully disengage mine,” Loki said. 

Tony laughed. “You’re a bullshiter.” Loki grinned back at him. 

“And you love me for it.” 

“I do,” Tony said, being very certain not to loosen up the hold in his wrists. “How about you let me use mine on you the way they were meant to be used?” 

Loki feigned confusion. “This isn’t how they’re meant to be used?” 

“I’ll show you,” Tony said with a little purr. 

Loki didn’t fall for his puppy dog eyes. “You’re a bullshiter too.” 

Tony allowed that with a cocky grin that egged Loki on. 

Loki shifted his hips to the side, not losing the strength in his arms. He looked to their hands, then back to Tony’s face, calculating. Tony’s muscles tensed, ready for a push or shove. Loki bent forward, losing a little against Tony’s strength, and pressed his lips to his own hand. Tony stared. The sinful bastard glanced towards him with a low chuckle before slipping the vibrator from his own finger with his mouth, being certain to let his warm tongue slide against Tony’s skin as it retrieved the toy. 

Loki held it between his teeth for a moment, staring at Tony, incredibly smug. Then he popped it out of his mouth with way more lips and tongue than was necessary. 

“I fold,” Loki said. 

Not to be outdone, Tony repeated the action with his own, noting that Loki didn’t use the moment to knock him off balance. When the toy hit the couch, Loki leaned in, affectionately kissing the corner of Tony’s mouth. Tony let go to hold him instead. 

Loki’s hand trailed up his back as Tony angled his head, eager to catch those lips that were so coyly missing his. The sensation of Loki’s tongue greeting his sent a shiver coursing through his body. Tony moaned, leaning his weight forward and pushing Loki back onto the couch. 

Tony mindlessly let the friction in their hips build as he focused on the soft throaty sounds Loki made as he kissed him back, fingers tracing curling grooves into Tony’s hair. Loki wrapped a possessive leg around Tony. Groaning, Tony encouraged it. There was a soft smack of lips when Tony pulled away, trying to catch a breath of air. He opened his eyes and found Loki staring at him with half lidded eyes, waiting. Loki grinned, curling his arms around Tony’s back and pulling him in. 

Tony lost track of time, blissed out in the leisurely kisses that he couldn’t seem to come up from. At one point he realized that the vibrators were still buzzing, but he didn’t care. 

Loki tipped his head back, panting. He stared at the ceiling as he caught his breath, hands still clenching Tony’s arms to keep him there. Tony couldn’t resist the pale neck bared to him. 

“Ahh—Ton—” Tony’s laughter was muffled by skin as he sucked at the spot between Loki’s neck and shoulder that he’d teased before. The reflexive arch of Loki’s hips into his was divine. “I don’t know what it is about that spot—” Loki’s voice was hoarse. 

Tony just sucked harder, Loki groaning in spite of himself. 

Then his long fingers were diving up Tony’s shirt and—“Loki!” Tony pulled back, but Loki’s fingers were already making him laugh. “Uncle! Okay, un—” Loki’s hands stilled. 

His mouth was turned up to the side, his eyes soft and loving. “You deserved that one.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, silently agreeing with him. Loki’s hands came out from under his shirt and Loki leaned up, feeling around on the couch. Tony sat up to allow Loki to, Tony kneeling between his legs. “We might as well get some use out of these before the batteries die,” Loki said. Loki’s expression turned thoughtful as Tony’s mind went to better battery options if he’d been the one to make the toy. 

Tony had just started mentally debating the practicality of replaceable batteries versus rechargeable ones when Loki unzipped the front of his jeans. Tony gasped. He felt extra sensitive at the sudden attention and Loki’s hand curling around him. He twitched in Loki’s fingers. Loki tugged his pants and boxers down to knees. The cold air brought goosebumps and left him feeling unusually exposed. 

Tony held his breath as Loki brought his pointer finger closer, though he wasn’t expecting much from the humming toy. He didn’t react much as it trailed down the length of him, but when Loki slid it under the head, Tony let out a groan. 

Loki’s free hand cupped his balls, playing with him in tandem, and that was the last thought Tony had before he was coming, vision blank. 

Loki was staring at him, still fully clothed, expression a mix of curiosity and tenderness. Tony surged forward and kissed him, grasping Loki’s hips. Loki had been on the verge of saying something, but he melted into it anyway. Tony kissed his cheek as he pulled away. “Your turn.” 

“You set the bar kind of high,” Loki muttered. 

Tony didn’t tell him that he thought it was less the toy and more just how good he felt in general. “Hand it over,” Tony said, reaching for his hand. Loki pulled it away. 

“You should use the one that you picked,” he said. 

Tony almost started to comply when a thought struck him. “Do you—have a thing for tentacles—”

“No!” Loki immediately exclaimed. “I just think you should be stuck with the one you picked—Tony—Tony seriously,” Loki said, trying to make his face very serious and very stern. It was too late. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never told me,” Tony said, pretending to sound hurt as he leaned back and fished his original toy off the floor. Loki didn’t fall for it. 

Loki folded his arms over his chest, glaring. Tony smiled at him, big and wide. Loki tried not to smile back. “You’re fucking terrible,” Loki said. 

Tony shimmied forward on the couch a little, smirking before he pecked the side of Loki’s face. “One tentacle party coming up—”

“Tony,” Loki chastised him as Tony laughed at himself. Loki was lax as Tony tugged open his pants, though. Tony kissed him, because he really couldn’t get enough of that mouth today, and Loki’s hands cupped the back of his head the way Tony loved. 

Tony took Loki’s hot length in hand, stroking a couple times as he sucked on Loki’s bottom lip. “Tony,” Loki muttered as Tony pulled away. Loki’s hands slid down to Tony’s shoulders. Loki writhed against Tony in slow, expressive movements that Tony longed to draw out. He started to, only Loki grabbed him tight, squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed his forehead against Tony’s. A groan escaped his lips and his fingers clenched. 

The humming sound was drowned out beneath Loki’s voice for a moment as he came, and then Tony was tossing the toy aside and holding Loki like he hadn’t spent the last hour on the couch with him. When Loki’s fingers slackened, Loki let out a sigh. “You’re not going to let that go, are you,” he said, knowing the answer.

“Nope,” Tony confirmed. 

Loki shook his head in exasperation. “I will just have to come up with something on you that’s equally annoying.” 

“Good luck, babe.” 

Loki grabbed his arm, holding it as he gave Tony a warm, slightly exhausted look. “I haven’t eaten dinner,” Loki said. “I’m fucking starving.” 

Tony sat up. Loki followed, combing his fingers through his own hair. 

“This is a fucking mess,” Tony muttered, pulling off his shirt. 

“Pun intended?” Loki asked sweetly. Tony shoved at his arm.

“It is now.” 

Loki stood up, tucking himself back into his pants. “I think I’ll shower first,” he decided. 

“I’ll join you,” Tony said, tugging his pants the rest of the way off and not giving a shit if he walked through his house naked. 

“You want to go out for dinner?” Tony asked. 

“Yeah,” Loki said, pleasantly surprised. Tony reached for Loki’s waist. 

He knew he’d made the right choice with Loki. Fuck the whole situation with Loki’s parents. Loki’s parents couldn’t stop them from having this. Tony held Loki’s waist until they reached the stairs, and Loki didn't remark on it. He just leaned in, arm sneaking back around Tony.


	21. Chapter 21

The wheels on Loki’s brand new suitcase hummed as he pulled it along behind him on the slick airport tiles, Tony at his side. Loki had peeked inside his suitcase on the car ride to the airport, subtly, but Tony managed to catch him. He hadn’t gained much from the brief glance, other than that there were in fact clothes inside. Tony had thoroughly chastised him for it, to the point that Loki felt guilty enough to bestow a few sorry kisses on his husband. 

Happy hadn’t appreciated the brief display of affection in the backseat. 

Something about saving it for the honeymoon. 

When they were a few paces away from the security checkin line, Tony came to a halt. 

Tony’s heart pounded as he reached inside his suit jacket, feeling for the tickets. Loki would need one to get through security. Loki caught his gaze, hesitant and curious. “I—” Tony said. He pulled out the envelope. “Here,” he said, reaching inside. The ticket crinkled as he pulled out the thin strip of paper with Loki’s name printed on it. 

Loki cautiously took the ticket in his hands, his face held perfectly still before he read anything. 

Then it was like his entire being softened. Relief, maybe. A small smile pulled at Loki’s lips. He looked happy, but maybe the smile was too small, disappointed, Tony thought suddenly. “Do you—like it—” He started, throat tight. 

The light in Loki’s eyes when he looked up cast any doubt Tony had aside. “I love it.” Loki gave off the impression of someone who wanted a hug and didn’t know how to ask, so Tony swept in. Loki held him back tightly, squeezing Tony’s ribcage together in that perfect pressure way good hugs had. 

“Thank god,” Tony said, relieved beyond belief. He let go, swinging his arms at his sides a bit and letting out a deep breath. 

Loki smoothed his fingers over the ticket, over the _Hawaii_ printed in bold letters. “My family went when I was little,” Loki said. “I don’t remember it much.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said. “Thor said you pouted the whole trip over not getting to sit in the front seat of the car.” 

Loki made a face, slightly annoyed. “It was because I wanted to see the manta rays from my marine biology book, and we weren’t going to get to see them on the trip.” He was surprised by how bitter he sounded, still, all these years later. “It was the kind of book that came with a hundred stickers and you had to match them to the right pages,” he explained, as if defending himself. 

Tony lit up, reaching for Loki’s arm. “We can go see them,” he said, animated. “There’s a dive spot—”

Loki’s expression dimmed. “I’m sure that’s way outside our budget.” 

Tony shook his head, smiling at Loki. Sometimes the money thing got on his nerves in a big way, but not today. Hell, he hadn’t flown commercial in years, and here he was doing it for Loki. “The plane tickets are a wedding gift from Jane and Thor,” Tony said. “Sam, Clint, Steve, Natasha, Bruce, and even Happy all chipped in together on the hotel.” 

Loki’s mouth dropped open. “That’s so much—”

Tony squeezed Loki’s arm, ignoring the bump of a suitcase against his legs as a woman pushed past him. “Lokes,” he said. “When we eloped, we saved them on bachelor parties and getting tuxedos and getting rooms at the reception place and all the stuff that comes along with a wedding. Doing it this way, they still saved money. And everyone talked about this. They wanted to do this, from the start, before we even eloped. Trust me, just please—”

Loki couldn’t believe he’d fucking believed Tony when he said that he’d requested no big gifts from his friends and they’d complied. He’d just figured that’s why they all brought flowers. Happy had still sent them a bunch of fancy baked goods as a gift, and Tony’s other friends had sent small things, and so had Jane and Thor, but Loki truly hadn’t seen it coming. 

Loki’s gaze dropped to the ground, a faint flush on his cheeks. Tony tried not to let the little humbled smile on Loki’s lips shatter his chest because it was too damn precious, but it was hard. When Loki glanced back up, there was excitement and hope in his eyes. “Everything we budgeted then—”

“—can be spent on getting around and doing anything we want,” Tony confirmed. 

An honest smile beamed on Loki’s face, and it’d been far too uncommon a sight in Tony’s life. Loki brushed his long black hair behind his ear, trying to tamper down his smile. Tony resisted the urge to kiss him in the middle of the airport. 

He didn’t need some asshole to snap a photo and post it online to grab attention. 

“You had me give you my passport,” Loki said. He’d been so fucking nervous all week, certain that Tony’d planned some extravagant spree across all of Europe. 

“It’s back at our home. I couldn’t make it too easy for you to guess,” Tony told him. 

Loki leaned back into his personal space, triggering Tony’s sense that he needed a hug again. Tony obliged, ignoring the grumble of a business man stepping over his suitcase behind them. Loki leaned his weight into him. “This is perfect, Tony.” 

“And we’re not even on the plane yet,” Tony said. He was fucking proud of himself now, truth be told. Loki nodded his head, pulling away. 

Loki’s long fingers drifted towards his suitcase handle. “Do you get nervous on planes?” He asked Tony.

Tony was surprised the question hadn’t come up before. “No,” Tony said. “I’ve been on them so much that they’re kind of boring to me, you know? Do you?” 

Loki shook his head. 

“Good,” Tony said. “Do you have your neck pillow?” 

Loki glanced down at his suitcase. “You packed my bag.” 

“Yeah, but I set it—yeah, it’s in there with the rest of your carry on stuff,” Tony said. He grabbed Loki’s hand. “Are you ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

Tony smiled, squeezing Loki’s hand before letting go. “Let’s go through. I want to make sure the security guard gets a good shot of my junk on the full body x-ray.” Loki laughed, shaking his head. 

 

It was a while before they boarded, and then when they were seated side by side on the plane, Tony was mentally running through their arrival and the hotel check-in when Loki’s hand slipped into his. Tony glanced over. 

The sunlight from the window caught Loki’s dark hair, illuminating the ends with light. The affection in Loki’s vivd green eyes made Tony’s chest go soft. 

He was a lucky fucking bastard, he was. 

Tony squeezed Loki’s hand, tracing his thumb over the inked patterns that he had never really stopped admiring. “We’re really doing the newly weds honeymoon heart eyes thing, aren’t we?” 

A startled, pleased laugh rang from Loki. “Yes. We are,” he said, squeezing Tony’s hand with a smirk on the corner of his lips. 

Loki couldn’t tamper down the affection he felt for Tony, so he let his gaze wander up past Tony’s gorgeous golden flecked brown eyes and settle on the scruffy brown hair he’d run his fingers through that morning. “Are we going to be sappy bastards on this trip?”

“I hope so,” Tony answered. “I’ve already ordered five hundred rose petals to cover the bed at the hotel.” 

Loki knew he hadn’t. “That’s inconvenient,” he said. “I ordered five hundred rose petals for the bed too.” 

Tony shook his head. “We should’ve coordinated our efforts.”

“Yes, we should have,” Loki said, just as the crew announced that they were readying for takeoff. 

Tony smiled at his husband, feeling every bit the lovesick, sappy bastard cliche as Loki grinned back at him. 

In this one respect, Loki would always be grateful to his family for meddling. He was glad that Thor had dragged him along to that party ages ago at his parents’ insistence, and that he’d met Tony there. He loved Tony. Fuck, he loved Tony, and he could only hope he could impress on Tony how much. 

Loki was immensely grateful that Tony’s world had joined with his, and as the plane took off, he knew that the world they were creating together was going to be even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I’m ending Bells and Confidants, though I fully intend to do a separate, mostly smut honeymoon arc and add it to the series. At 400k, I think I can say I’m smitten with these two in this series, I really am. I had no idea I’d go along so far until I did. 
> 
> I’d love hearing what you thought, and your thoughts on this series as a whole would be extremely helpful for me. I’d love to know how you’d characterize it too, and or what style you associate with it. I hope you enjoyed it, thank you for following along!! <3 It's been a joy.


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